[Tical00]

Hey Everyone,
I'm new to this site so just hear me out, I have a long story. I've been with this girl for almost 2 years now. Let me just say that we met in one of those one night stand scenarios. After that night, I must admit, since we didn't go through the whole dating and going out and getting to know each other, it kind of killed the excitement, the game. Anyway, we chilled a lot, she was slowly growing on me. Gradually we started fighting a lot. This was during Xmas of 2006. I decided then that we needed a "break". She broke down and didn't want a "break" cause she didn't believe in them. I told her this is what I needed and finally she accepted. During this break I really was thinking ab everything and it came to me that I really miss this girl. So I called her one day (a month has past since our break) and asked her to come over. She agreed and I asked for her back. She was reluctant because she told me that she was so hurt from our "break", crying everynite, etc... I was begging her I would never do that to her again and so on. Well, anyway this went on for ab 1 1/2 month of me trying to get her back, she'd agree but the next day, she would say no. This really messed me up because I wasn't sure if she was going to dump me tomorrow, next week, next month. Anyway, after those 2 months of uncertainty, we finally were back together and in LOVE. From about April 2007 to Nov 2007. Fast forward to Nov 2007. Ok, during this time we weren't spending much time together, she was in school full time and I lived ab 1 hr away. She would come to my house on the weekends but she would have to work and she didn't get off until 3 or 4 am so I would barely see her. I remember we got in this fight and that started the breakup. She said that last year when I suggested the "break" that it destroyed her and she was having flashbacks and didn't want to go through that. She thought nothing has changed. Meaning I wasn't affectionate enough for her (e.g. Didn't hold hands, open the door for her, etc... ) I tried but not the what she wanted. Anyway, she said she needed time to think ab us. I agreed and gave it to her. I week went by with no contact, then I noticed on her myspace account that she recently changed her status from "In a relationship" to "Single". I was like!! She deleted our photos together and set her album to private.! I was heated so I sent her a message via myspace telling her that I was hurt that I had to find out this way etc... I got a reply 3 days later and she was explaining that she was sorry and she was going to tell me. Ok, so we finally meet up since I had some of her things at my house and she had some of mine. We talked and agreed that we were cool, even though deep down inside I wasn't. We went out to eat and that was it. Break up was as smooth as you can get but inside I wasn't. Fast forward to New Years Eve 2007, keep in mind all of the stuff above is in Dec 2007. Anyway, I texted her on New Years Eve and told her I would like to spend New Years wit her. I have to admit, I did miss her a lot. Anyway, I got nuthing from her. No reply. This got me thinking, she usually good ab answering me back. So, New years comes and goes and that night all of my friends just happens to be hanging out wit one of my ex's good friends. I work up the courage to ask her if she's seeing anyone and then I got the shock of a lifetime. I heard she was, for a couple of weeks now. I was hurt. I was angry and honestly, I wanted her back. So I called her the next day, she didn't pick up, I called her again, nothing. So, I left a message. 5 hrs goes by and nothing. So I called one of her friends to tell her to call me. Her friend promised me she would call later that night and guess what. NO CALL!! After that night, a little piece of me died. I was so devastated. I was crying, I was angry. I couldn't believe she would find someone else so fast and on top of that, tell me she would call and never called. I thought we meant more to each other than that. Why didn't she call me?? That really bugs me. I didn't do anything to hurt her or do make her mad. I don't get it.

So here's where I'm at today. Im just a wreck. I can't sleep, eat, work, its so ridiculous. I mean, its affected me so much that I quit smoking just so I don't think ab her all the time. I don't know what I should do. I just want to tell her I LOVE HER but I don't think that's a good idea. All my friends and family say to drop her but that's easier said then done. I feel so empty inside. Any advice would help. The more the merrier. Anyway, sorry for the long story, I just want to get all the facts out. THanks for reading...

TK

[friend4u178]

Hi Tical
Well all I can advise you is let her have her space , you constantly calling and messaging etc. will only push her further away. She has made her mind up so you need to respect that.

You have to realise she didn't just wake up one morning and decide this. She has obviously thought about this for a long time and when they finally make the break it is final as far as they are concerned.

I'm not going to lie to you this won't be easy , you have a hard road ahead , so please learn from it. Easier said than done I know but the longer you hold on the longer before your healing process starts.

Read some of the other posts on here and you will not only realise you aren't the only one in this boat but there are literally thousands. Reading others stories will not only give you an insight into what to expect but quell your pain a bit when you realise so many others have similar if not more difficult situations to deal with.
Then come back here and vent , you'll be surprised how much better that can make you feel.