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    hajt70's Avatar
    hajt70 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Jan 5, 2008, 12:44 PM
    Is This Normal?
    Hi, I am new to this site. I am wondering why my wife spend lots of money at Victoria Secret lately and she only wear those fancy underwears to work? This is not normal to me. Am I wrong?
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #2

    Jan 5, 2008, 12:49 PM
    Did you ask her? She is the one to tell you. Maybe wearing that underwear to work makes her feel good. Could be other reasons too but I am not her. Ask her.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #3

    Jan 5, 2008, 12:52 PM
    If she does not wear them for you, then obviously she is wearing them for someone else. I would say no, this is NOT normal.
    hajt70's Avatar
    hajt70 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Jan 5, 2008, 01:01 PM
    She used to wear them for me, but not lately. I do not think she wears them for somesone else. She always goes home right after work. Any other possible reasons. Thank you for your reply.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #5

    Jan 5, 2008, 01:05 PM
    Why can't you ask her why she has stopped wearing those intimates for you? While it could be that she has started wearing at work because she has a workplace lover, there could another reason. Why cast doubt on her until you know something a bit more positive?
    hajt70's Avatar
    hajt70 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #6

    Jan 5, 2008, 01:10 PM
    Ok. I should ask her. What is to best way to put it? She is very sensitive and I don't want to piss her off.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #7

    Jan 5, 2008, 01:15 PM
    You can be sensitive without accusing. Just tell her that you miss seeing the sexy underwear and would wish that she wear them again for you. Tell her that it is means a great deal to you, that it speaks of something special in your marriage. Then if she does say she does not wear them anymore, then you can say that you notice she wears them to work.

    If there is something going on, you have the right to know.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #8

    Jan 5, 2008, 01:17 PM
    I really don't think it matters what kind of underwear she wears to work as (hopefully!) nobody is going to see it. If she likes fancy underwear that's fine but I certainly don't see the point in spending a lot of money on underwear. I don't think this in and of itself is a problem. Perhaps there are other "symptoms" that make you more suspicious but you haven't mentioned them here.
    hajt70's Avatar
    hajt70 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #9

    Jan 5, 2008, 01:36 PM
    Other symptoms:
    1. She stops initiate the sex.
    2. No more foreplay.
    3. She does not enjoy it the way she used to.

    That is an excellent idea Shygrneyzs. I will ask her to do just that to see what happens.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #10

    Jan 5, 2008, 05:01 PM
    I wish you the best of luck here. It does sound like it's time for you two to have some marriage counseling.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #11

    Jan 5, 2008, 05:23 PM
    From your answer it sounds like she definitely has her eyes on someone else if you have been left in the lurch intimate wise. She might be having quickie lunches with a co-worker if this behavior has just started. Have lunch with her if you can and see what her reaction is.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Jan 6, 2008, 01:18 PM
    Talk to your wife. Don't assume or speculate.
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