[Latitude37]

My dad died before I was born by a couple of months.
That was over 50yrs ago he died at 32... really sucked. I have always had this hole in my heart that was never filled. I sometimes stare at the heavens and wonder what if... I am comfortable with how I turned out and have learned to roll with life. But I sometimes wonder if I could have been more with his guidance.

[Fr_Chuck]

Maybe more, maybe less, we never know, Everyone has some what if's in their life, but the main thing is that we learn to be happy with who we are.

[s_cianci]

Were you raised strictly by your mother? Did she ever talk with you about your father? I agree that one needs both a mother and a father (though I'm sure the feminists and liberals will rip my head off for that one.) But, and research supports this, all other things being equal, children raised in single-parent homes that became single due to death are better adjusted and typically do better than those whose homes became single-parent due to divorce.

[allswell]

Hi. I don't really know what to say, but thought I'd send a hug your way. Do you have any siblings with whom you can talk it out? Not that it'll change anything, but talking helps. You seem well-adjusted. And surely, your life would have been much different had your father not passed away when he did. You'd have different memories; differences of opinions around the kitchen table; everything would have been different. But would the outcome would have been different? That is tough to answer. I think we are all meant to be the people we are meant to be from the minute we're born. And the course we take in life is somewhat pre-determined, but the result is still the same. That's my belief.

I, too, lost my father, but I got a chance to know him for twenty-two years. I remember my life started all over again the day he died. Everything was different. The way my shoe hit the pavement when it was raining. Eating a strawberry. Riding on a bus. Talking on the phone. Opening a door. It felt like all the things I had done a million times before I was doing for the first time, and it felt weird. Yet, I have now accepted that I am who I am despite of his death, not because of it.

Hang in there.

[Latitude37]

Yes I was raised by my mom... we had a family business. It was a good life. I moved back to tak care of her... the parent gets older thing. My mom and I talked some about it not a lot. She never remarried and was only married about 4 years when he died. I have an older sister but she is no help and in her own little world, which is OK.
Guess what got me thinking is every morning when I leave the house I have a bunch of framed pics in the living room and for some reason I noticed his pic a little more than normal... what ever normal is.. and wondered. I've looked at that picture for 50 years.
The image is frozen in time. I have some of his stuff from when he was a kid and ias a young adult so I have the history just don't have the memory.