[CT55]

I was dating a guy for about seven months. We were spending a lot of time together and saw each other almost every day. We weren't bf/gf but were in a relationship. He broke up with me about three weeks ago. He told me that he had been thinking about it for a while and he felt pressure about being in a serious relationship and that he did not want to be in one. He said that he didn't know if he wanted to date me in the future but he wasn't ready for something serious. He had just gotten out of a four year relationship when I met him. I didn't expect things to progress between us so I wasn't too concerned about it. He is also very young (24). He said that he was just immature right now and did not know what he wanted. I'm having a hard time letting go because I was expecting more from him and I don't really understand his reasons. Also, it is very difficult because we work together and we see each other every day. We also have the same friends so when we go out on the weekends, we see each other. I am trying very hard to let this go even though I still want to be with him. I don't call or text him or talk to him when we are out. I try to avoid him at work. I just can't stop thinking about him and the possibility of us getting back together. I think about my past relationships and how I missed them and felt sad and how glad I am now that we are not together but it was easier to get over them because I didn't have to see them. He truly is a good guy and even if we are not together I hope to eventually be friends. We both still like each other and like to hang out. A question that I already know the answer to, should I try and talk to him about his commitement issues or just let go? How can I get over this when I have to deal with him on a daily basis?

[George_1950]

You wrote this: "He said that he didn't know if he wanted to date me in the future but he wasn't ready for something serious." That is a mouthful, right?
I would be pleasant when I met him at work. I would avoid him otherwise. Over the next few months, I would develop friends elsewhere, just making new contacts and not avoiding your old friends; but it will be very important that a 'game' not start to talk to CT55 about "Him", since she 'needs' an update on all the most recent gossip. Your heart could break 100 times from well-intentioned chatting.

This might help or might not: Discovery Health :: How to End a Romance

[talaniman]

Its for the very reasons you have expressed here, why dating at work is frowned on. Breakups are magnified, and everyone at work knows your business. How about expanding your horizons with something else besides the work crowd. As for further talks with him, forget it. That will make things much worse. Sorry, but you need a life outside of work.

[nkychic]

Let this one go, don't try to figure it out, don't try to reconcile, just let it go. I know that's easier said than done, but you need to move on with your life. Keep it professional at work. You will never make it in life if you don't know how to keep your personal life and opinions separate from your work. I work with my boyfriend of 3 years and you'd never know we were dating if you saw us at work. He is strictly a co-worker of mine, nothing more, nothing less.

The way it sounds, you are trying TOO hard to avoid him. Constantly thinking about ways to avoid him, means constantly thinking about him. Just live your life. You don't have to ignore him, just don't go out of your way to make conversation. A simple "hi, good morning" as you pass through the hall is acceptable. As talaniman said below, find a life and a group of people outside of work. Good luck hon and I hope I've been of at least a little help. Take care and drop me a line to let me know how things are going.

<3 Leslie