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melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 07:31 AM

About a year ago, while I was pregnant with my daughter, I was arrested on criminal charges (egging a car) and spent hours in jail. This accusation came from a "friend/girlfriend" of my ex boyfriend, my baby's father. I then got an attorney and went forward in the case. Time after time it was reset for further investigation. After the birth of my daughter the case was still pending and problems with my ex arose. I then hired an attorney to obtain custody of my daughter. When I went to court for custody, this past August, the "accuser" from the criminal case was there. My court date was currently set for the following week. When she got on the stand she testified (maybe not word for word but pretty close) "She messed up my car, I spoke with the county attorney this morning and she is going to jail next week. They said they are pressing charges to the full extent and she is definitely facing jail time" After all of the things that were said in court, I still got full custody but it definitely jeapordized it, not to mention, it was a PUBLIC trial, in a little bitty town that I had lived in for 15 years. I went back to my criminal case the following week, where the county attorney, once again, postponed it for further investigation. Two months later, I moved out of the town. It is impossible to stay in a little town trying to do the right thing and raise your daughter when stuff like that is said about you. When I went back to court for the final time this month, my case was dismissed. Yes, DISMISSED! Due to "witness unreliable" which was a different person. My question is, Can I sue the person that testified against me in my child custody case for slander? Can she be sued for perjury? I am obviously not in jail, and not facing any kind of charges what so ever, but what she did ruined my reputation in my home town.

nymphetamine · Dec 31, 2007, 07:40 AM

I believe you can sue for slander. Did this issue really hurt you that badly though? Have you had to go to therapy or be medicated because of this ordeal? That's important to know because I'm sure they will ask you about all that. And if people are still attacking you about the case just tell them that the case has been closed and there was no evidence of you ever doing what you were accused of. Its obvious the accuser felt jealous and threatened by you being that you are the mother of her boyfriends child.

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 07:47 AM

I no longer talk to anyone from that town & I hardly ever go there, which is hard since my parents still live out there. I am now back with the father of my child and things are good for now. It cost me a couple thousand dollars to fight this case not to mention the time that I had to spend in jail. My attorney advised me that "this will never be over" because I am back w my boyfriend. That is my fear, this coming up again. All she has to do is say I did something and there I am behind bars proving my innocence again. I want to make sure that she knows its not okay to lie and ruin someone's reputation the way she did mine, and considering it was perjury, I figured that there has to be something I can do. I did not receive any kind of therapy but it taunts me everyday of my life, and my relationship with my boyfriend is strained because of it.

nymphetamine · Dec 31, 2007, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by melmueck

I no longer talk to anyone from that town & I hardly ever go there, which is hard since my parents still live out there. I am now back with the father of my child and things are good for now. It cost me a couple thousand dollars to fight this case not to mention the time that I had to spend in jail. My attorney advised me that "this will never be over" due to the fact that I am back w my boyfriend. That is my fear, this coming up again. All she has to do is say I did something and there I am behind bars proving my innocence again. I want to make sure that she knows its not okay to lie and ruin someones reputation the way she did mine, and considering it was perjury, I figured that there has to be something I can do. I did not receive any kind of therapy but it taunts me everyday of my life, and my relationship with my boyfriend is strained because of it.

Forget what I said above. That was kind of stupid of me to say but umm yeah I would sue the heck out of her. Find you a good lawyer.

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 08:08 AM

Where do I look to find one? Is it costly?

ScottGem · Dec 31, 2007, 08:27 AM

I'm not quite following this. You were arrested essentially for vandalism (what was the exact charge?). The form of the vandalism was throwing eggs at someone's car?

Then the owner of the car was called to testify at your custody hearing where she stated under oath, that the county attorney had told her you were going to do jail time. Is that the situation?

If so, forget taking her to court. YOU can't sue for perjury, that's a criminal offense and you would have to get the county attorney to prosecute her for it. You can talk to him about it, but I doubt if he will bother.

As for slander, even if you can prove she lied (and that might not be that easy), you really didn't suffer any damage since you won custody. If the town is as small as you say, then most people will know that a) this whole thing was over a juvenile prank (egging) and b) that the case was dismissed against you. If anything, it's the accuser's rep that suffers here, not yours.

I would drop it.

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 08:43 AM

That is pretty much correct. But she was not called to the case, my ex brought her in the case trying to get me to lose custody. She did state that, however none of that was true. If she testified in Public court that I did that to her vehicle and harassed her at her home and work, I don't understand why I can't sue her.. Perhaps the damages are not big to you, but they are to me. My ex and I are back together and her making these accusations, to this day, are very hard for me to rise above, but I manage to do so. She stated I was going to jail, harassed her, stalked her, would not leave her alone. She worked at a bar for one, I couldn't even get in to harass her. I lost a lot of money due to this and my reputation. I moved out of a town I had been in for 16 years so that she couldn't try to pin more things on me, and so I wouldn't have to deal with the harassment, I also changed my number. After all, all she did was go to the PD and say I did something and I got arrested for it, they didn't have any evidence, just her saying I did it. I would think this would be grounds for a suit? I can understand the whole perjury thing, and not being able to pursue that, but as for slander..

excon · Dec 31, 2007, 08:56 AM

Hello mel:

Don't be discouraged. Nothing in the law is absolute. You may very well have a case... She may very well have lied, and you have a record of it. Plus, she probably lied at other times about you too. And, yes, it may have cost you lots of money.

But (you knew there was a but coming), you have to PROVE she lied (not just made a mistake - but LIED), and THEN you have to PROVE exactly how much it cost you. In addition, a lawyer is going to charge you BIG bucks before you ever get to trial.

Therefore, unless what she said cost you tens of thousands of dollars, and unless you can PROVE BOTH parts of your lawsuit, forget it.

excon

ScottGem · Dec 31, 2007, 09:03 AM

Please don't get me wrong. I sympathize with your situation and understand you hate letting someone get away with lying about you. The problem here is you have to prove quantifiable damages.

And what if you do prove them, do you think you are going to collect? What assets does this person have that you can get in reimbursement?

My point is you are just throwing good money after bad.

As to your reputation etc. She testified at your custody hearing that you were definitely going to do jail time. Yet you have a dismissal of all charges. So who's rep suffers more?

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 09:07 AM

There are plenty of lies that I can definitely prove.. common sense and some adding can prove one itself.. (she stated I went into her work place and harassed her while she was working, but she worked in a bar and at the time I was only 19) And Im sure that the County Attorney would step forward and testify to protect his reputation since he never even spoke with her... I had to move, which cost money, and still is. I spent a few hours in jail (pregnant) which resulted in early labor and a high risk pregnancy. I had to hire an attorney (luckily he was a friend so I didn't have to pay too too much) My fear is this, If I don't do something now, to let her know that all of the lies and suffering she put me through is not okay, then what? I know it will happen again, and I know how easy it is now, to get someone innocent thrown in jail. I have never been in trouble my whole life and all she had to do is say I did it and off to jail I went... I am with the father of my child, someone she refuses to let go of, jealousy can go along way.. Im not only looking to recover a few things, Im looking to prevent as well..

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Please don't get me wrong. I sympathize with your situation and understand you hate letting someone get away with lying about you. The problem here is you have to prove quantifiable damages.

And what if you do prove them, do you think you are going to collect? What assets does this person have that you can get in reimbursement?

My point is you are just throwing good money after bad.

As to your reputation etc. She testified at your custody hearing that you were definitely going to do jail time. Yet you have a dismissal of all charges. So who's rep suffers more?

One of the things that bothers me the most is the fact that my boyfriend took HER side, because he thought I did it. When she accused me, him and I were not together, but now we are. He still talks to her and just doesn't want to be in the middle, but he still says I did it. I don't think he, or anyone else in the community, will believe me unless I go forward in with this.. But I was hoping she would get into trouble more so for perjury than anything. I am trying to figure the pros and cons and "being right" with everyone is definitely a pro, but then again, I KNOW I didn't do it and that I am right and that itself to me is a kind of justice. It makes it hard to move on from it when my boyfriend still speaks with her and she has the potential to do it again. I just need to be sure somehow that I can stand out in the community so if accusations do arise again, I can somewhat have a better defense?

nymphetamine · Dec 31, 2007, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by melmueck

One of the things that bothers me the most is the fact that my boyfriend took HER side, because he thought I did it. When she accused me, him and I were not together, but now we are. He still talks to her and just doesnt want to be in the middle, but he still says I did it. I dont think he, or anyone else in the community, will believe me unless I go forward in with this.. But I was hoping she would get into trouble more so for perjury than anything. I am trying to figure the pros and cons and "being right" with everyone is definately a pro, but then again, I KNOW I didnt do it and that I am right and that itself to me is a kind of justice. It makes it hard to move on from it when my boyfriend still speaks with her and she has the potential to do it again. I just need to be sure somehow that I can stand out in the community so if accusations do arise again, I can somewhat have a better defense?

Why are you still with him then :confused:

That doesn't make sense. How can you stay with someone who accuses you of thiings and he is still talking to her after what she did to the mother of his child? That shows what kind of man he is

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by nymphetamine

why are you still with him then :confused:

that doesn't make sense. how can you stay with someone who accuses you of thiings and he is still talking to her after what she did to the mother of his child? that shows what kind of man he is

I have been with him off and on for 8 years... He called me back in September after we were apart for over a year, asking for another chance. He hadn't been talking to her and I believed he had really changed. Things are okay and I am trying to rise above because I feel the best thing for my daughter is to have both parents, but I am trying to figure out what exactly to do.. I know going against her he will have to chose once and for all, no more middle man, but I also know if he continues to talk to her, either way, I have a choice to make, one I do not look forward to but will do if it comes down to it. Is is possible for me to go after her? What would be my pro's/con's and how much does it cost? Is it possible to recover expenses? And if a judgement is placed, how does that affect her?

ScottGem · Dec 31, 2007, 09:30 AM

I have to agree with nymph. The issue you have with your boyfriend is not going to be solved by suing her for slander. I would either dump him or spend my effort at repairing your relationship, not at getting back at her.

But don't take our word for it. Consult a few attorneys, see what they say about your chances and the costs. Most will give you a free initial consult.

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I have to agree with nymph. The issue you have with your boyfriend is not going to be solved by suing her for slander. I would either dump him or spend my effort at repairing your relationship, not at getting back at her.

It's not so much as "getting back at her" per say.. It's proving (I think) that I didn't have anything to do with it and that what she did is wrong.. Even if him & I weren't together, my intentions with this would be the same. I lost a lot of friends due to what she said and did, and the suffering that I have gone through and am still going through is a lot.. The fear of losing my child because she wants to lie and such is unbearable. And its obviously not hard to get someone thrown in jail now days.

ScottGem · Dec 31, 2007, 09:37 AM

But you have proof. Your case was dismissed. That's the most proof you are likely to get.

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

But you have proof. Your case was dismissed. That's the most proof you are likely to get.

That is true. What is the reason people sue for slander? I thought I had good resoning but after reviewing all of the anwers I am starting to wonder..

melmueck · Dec 31, 2007, 09:44 AM

What about false arrrest?

excon · Dec 31, 2007, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by melmueck

What is the reason people sue for slander?

Hello again, mel:

People have the same reasons as you. Somebody lied and damaged somebody. However, the damages are WAAAAAAY big.

Libel and slander suits aren't for the little guys. They're for the people whose reputations are worth millions.

excon

ScottGem · Dec 31, 2007, 09:49 AM

False arrest is when the police make an arrest where they knew there was no guilt. She could be prosecuted for filing a false police report, but again that would be up to the county attorney.

Generally people sue for slander (or libel) because they have quantifiable monetary damages do to what someone said about them. Sometimes, a celebrity can sue because due to their celebrity their reputation has been damaged. But suing someone successfully is a fairly rare occurrence.