[treemandwg]

My wife has a male friend at work that she hangs out with that I feel is too much. They work together, sometimes go out to eat together, go to the gym together,I tried to tell her how much this bothers me but it is still going on. I have done all the jealous stuff like checking email ,checking phone calls ,checking text messages, and even followed her to work. I don`t know to stop worrying about it she says there is nothing going on with this guy. He is 54 years old and she is 33 years old. We have been married for 5 years and she doesn`t understand why I`m so jealous and I don`t understand why she puts herself in a position to be around another man this much. Am I wrong for felling this way?

[George_1950]

You have talked with her about this and she is still doing it? Uh oh
Check this: Is Your Partner Cheating on You? Are You Sure?

[nymphetamine]

my wife has a male friend at work that she hangs out with that i feel is too much. they work together, sometimes go out to eat together, go to the gym together,i tried to tell her how much this bothers me but it is still going on. i have done all the jealous stuff like checking email ,checking phone calls ,checking text messages, and even followed her to work. i don`t know to stop worrying about it she says there is nothing going on with this guy. he is 54 years old and she is 33 years old. we have been married for 5 years and she doesn`t understand why i`m so jealous and i don`t understand why she puts herself in a position to be around another man this much. am i wrong for felling this way?

54? Are you sure the guy isn't her dad?

Haha. I am only kidding, but um you need to have serious communication time with your wife. Tell her that when you tell her that this is bothering you and she continues to do the behavior that shows you that she doesn't care about how you feel. Because really that's exactly what she is saying. If she truly loved you, she would put your happiness above all else.
Oh and ask if you can hang out with them one day. If she seems to have problems with you being with them at all then maybe you have your answer. Just don't show the guy that you are jealous and try and behave in a civil manner if they do let you or they may have a very good reason for not wanting you to be around.

[George_1950]

nymphetamine wrote: "If she truly loved you, she would put your happiness above all else." Sorry that I left it off the comments; I meant to show it there. For all the heartbroken guys out there, this should be 'Principle Number One' in the quest to know 'whether she cares about me or not'. My guess is that 99 times out of 100, if she truly loved you, you wouldn't be suffering like you are.

[kraz]

No one can tell you if you're wrong about the way you are feeling, but you have the power to change those feelings, take the bull by the horns, so to speak.

Did your checking stuff, find anything that should make you jealous?

You said "i don`t understand why she puts herself in a position to be around another man this much" Don't let your wife put herself in this position

Perhaps you could surprise your wife and meet her for lunch!
Ask her out for dinner and a show after work.
Maybe sign up for memberships at the local gym for you and her?
You could try doing more things together, go bush walking, picnicing, walks along the beach (if you live near one), nice intimate dinners at home...

I don't know, but being jealous and letting it into your life is detrimental to your peace of mind and also to your relationship with your wife.

[gypsyminette]

Oh treeman. I feel you.

My husband had an associate who he was good friends with. A former model, she was about 5'8, skinny as a rail, and had red hair, a southern accent, and huge breast implants. All the guys in the office loved her. They were friends, but she was eventually let go (she got a ridiculous raise because of her looks and the company could no longer afford it). After she was let go, we got married, but they stayed in touch. He would go out to lunch with her to my dismay. I would make it obvious to him that it upset me but he would do it anyway "because they worked together for three years" and they were friends, nothing more. Then I checked his e-mail one night out of the blue while he was away, and he had planned a lunch with her that he did not tell me about. It was the first time I ever felt so upset that I could throw up. Not only that, but he said "I am so excited to see you!" Ugh. He said that he had second thoughts about it before it happened, and he was going to cancel it before I even found out. I question him every time he has lunch with a vendor now because of it. I had a gut feeling to check his email and I was right.

Please tell your wife how much it bothers you that she is hanging out with this fellow. I agree with the notion that your happiness should be more important than her companionship with him. I know because I am in your position. Good luck.