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Miko-chan · Dec 26, 2005, 11:12 PM

Hi me and my boyfriend have been datting for a few years and been having sex for a year and a half, but for some reson I have never had an orgasm before and it's bugging me that I haven't. We have tried many sites, and positions, and many shows that they show on TV, for helping people with sex stuff. There is nothing that I no of that can help me. Can anyone send me any information or tips on anyway you can help me and b/f
Contact me on this site

Lucas Warmth · Jan 12, 2006, 06:07 AM

Have you tried a slow approach where your partner stimulates your "G" spot. I find that this works about 99% of the time. Sometime you can have several orgasim's and then have your partner do his thing.

Miko-chan · Jan 12, 2006, 04:38 PM

I have tryed that with him but it seems to hurt me still, we tryed it for like a half an hour. Also i've been goin to the doctor to see why it hurts but they can't find out the problem yet. Plz i need help..!!!

DrJ · Jan 12, 2006, 05:11 PM

Have you ever had an orgasm on your own?

Miko-chan · Jan 13, 2006, 12:12 PM

yes, i have tryed that too. I'm never able to reach one. So i've never had one before.:(

DrJ · Jan 13, 2006, 12:45 PM

How old are you?

Miko-chan · Jan 13, 2006, 10:30 PM

I'm 16 turning 17... why?

rajeevsrai · Jan 13, 2006, 10:48 PM

Hi miko
See having orgasm is more about feeling.
U and your b/f should be original and not try other stuff suggesteed. Chage the way and try things that come to your own. And make him explore your whole body and while you explore his.
OK
Please write back.

Chery · Jan 13, 2006, 11:06 PM

OK, you're going on 17, had sex already for a year and a half?? Hello... I sure hope this has been with protection and that he respects you enough to stop when it hurts you. There is more to sex and orgasm than just getting down to it. It needs a lot of work before it even happens, like tenderness, compliments, laughing and having fun doing other things that make you respect each other and want to be together. If you started dating him because it was the 'in' thing to do and have not really felt even a 'tingle' then, dear your going out with the wrong guy - plain and simple - he's not turning you on. The mind has a lot to play into this also and if you don't respect each other and don't have the tingly feeling when he calls - and you don't really like the sound of his voice or the way he acts in public, then it's time to move on. Watching films, reading literature, and playing acrobats will not help unless there is a deeper need for each other. Sex for a woman should not be an obligation, it should be a joy and you should feel content afterwards, not frustrated because you did not feel anything but discomfort.
I would suggest you try to imagine a fantasy guy in your own bed, think of the things you'd like to hear him say to you, touch yourself and get to know your body inch by inch to find what YOU like, and see if this takes you anywhere. He might be the cat's meow to everyone else and thinks so himself, but if he does nothing for you, then he's the wrong one. You are still young enough to 'try on other shoes' before buying them, but just make certain that you stay safe and use protection (both of you). If this guy has not found your 'g' spot yet, he never will, so do you think you'd want to stay with a person like him for the remainder of your life? Concentrate on education, future, independence and fun first, and then get to know your body - then share it on your terms. Imagine 'dirty dancing' with him, and if that does not feel right, then drop him. Imagine cooking or going to a carnival with him to have fun, and if that does not seem right, drop him. Sex is not everything, and when you're ready, you'll know it, so please don't force the issue - you'll regret it if you do. I hope this does not sound like a put-down, that's far from what I intend, your contentment and comfort is first and foremost the issue here, not any man, so please think about it and keep us posted. Good luck and all the best.

Life is too short, so don't waste it.

Landrail · Jan 14, 2006, 05:09 AM

Have you tried supplements for women? Sentia was helpful in the same situation to my wife.

Miko-chan · Jan 14, 2006, 12:00 PM

well we both love each other very much and respect each other, We do many fun things together. lol and i do love those things about him....the sound of his voice and the way he acts in public,(it's cute lol) but i will try and do those things with him, pictureing people and stuff.
Also whats, supplements for women?:confused:

Chery · Jan 14, 2006, 12:33 PM

If all the other feelings you have for each other are not negative, then try checking this site out and see if you get any hints here, and also don't be ashamed of talking to a doctor and your boyfriend about the issues that you might have that prevent you from enjoying sex the way you should. As you can see, you're not the only one with problems like this, and there is help - as long as you seek it. Hope this helps getting you on the right road to the joys of sex.

http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_se...en/article.htm

Remember that communication is a crucial key here! And I hope you get the help you need to enjoy life to the fullest.

Miko-chan · Jan 15, 2006, 12:55 PM

yes, my boyfriend and i talk through about ways it could help us improve our sex life, but nothing has helped so far. Also the Doctors have not yet found the problem to this yet. (i've gone through lots of testings and it feels very weird lol:p )
But ya this info has sent me on the right path so far. :D

DrJ · Jan 16, 2006, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by Miko-chan

Also whats, supplements for women?:confused:

Don't worry about it. You're too young to need supplements.

Anyway, you ARE young. You started having sex a long time go, too. You may not be ready for such sensations. I advise that you start by yourself. If you are not able to come to climax alone, you will find it difficult to do it with a partner.

I would assume that the majority of your problem is in your head. You can't get into it by just focusing on the orgasm. I assume its become such an issue that it is your primary thought and focus each time you two are intimate.

I had similar trouble with a girl many years ago. She had always had sex just because that's what guys wanted to do with her. She never let herself really... TRULY enjoy it. You let too many pretenses get in the way and you will never get there.

Don't have sex just to have sex. Set the mood... do it for each other. He needs to focus on your wants and needs as a woman and you as him as a man. I don't know if you enjoy masturbation but if you don't do it commly now, I would advise starting. The more in tune you can get with your body, the better you will be able to share that with your man.

letmetellu · Jan 16, 2006, 07:52 PM

If you are having intercourse and it is painful for you it is so hard to concentrate on you enjoying it yourself. So find out what the pain is and get rid of that and things should change. One scource of the trouble could be a unusually tough hyman one that is partially broken and needs to be seen about by a doctor.

Miko-chan · Jan 17, 2006, 12:16 AM

I'm goin to the doctors again tomarrow to see what the problem is. They have not found the problem yet. But ya thats true idon't really like doing that becuz my family is ashamed of me, so i don't feel like i could totaly enjoy. I'm always thinking that my family would find out, then what would they say.

Lucas Warmth · Jan 17, 2006, 11:26 AM

I agree wholly with Chery. Remember have a relationship is not one sided. Have your partner go with you to the doctor and maybe he will be able to understand that there really is a problem and that he can help you. Why is your family ashamed of you? Have you tried orally? Remember slow WILL win the race. Luke

priscilla2006 · Jan 17, 2006, 11:30 AM

You will just have to keep trying all of the different ways and see what works. I know being on top is the only thing that works for me. Or perhaps you just need to quit stressing over it and maybe it will happen. Don't think about it as much and just kind of let nature take its course.

Miko-chan · Jan 17, 2006, 04:46 PM

my family expect perfection from our family, so there ashamed if anything like this happenes at a young age. Yes we've tryed oral, we've try'd all the ways, nothing works

DrJ · Jan 17, 2006, 06:37 PM

Look, I really don't think a regualr doctor visit is necessary... I sincerely doubt your "orgasm-maker" is broken. If anything, you need to speak with a counselor, someone that can help you relax and focus on the right things in life.

You and your boyfriend should just back off the sexual side for a bit and focus on other things in your relationship. Fool around here and there if you must but don't approach every sexual experience with the thought, "Will I be able to do it this time??" That anxiety is killing you and is very likely the cause of your situation (note: I did not call it a "problem"). In the meantime, learn your body... get comfortable with yourself. The more sexually comfortable you can be, they easier you will be able to relax and the less anxious you will be.