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Scotland · Dec 23, 2007, 02:21 PM

My Ex is doing all he can to get out of Child support but no chance. So now he wants to take the route of full custody (he has money for attorneys). I'm a fit Mother that is clean as a whistle and I have very little money to spend on a fancy lawyer to get past this.
If the judges give Joint custody how will he start visitation?
Our daughter is 18months and he has never met her. I'm very supportive of both parents
Being in her life.
What worries me is how he will see her for the first time? Will the visits be facilitated until he gets to know her?
I know he wants nothing to do with her I'm concerned about his attitude towards her.
SAD HUH?
Any suggestions?:confused:

ScottGem · Dec 23, 2007, 02:32 PM

Then bring this up during the custody hearings and ask for supervised visitation initially. Check with family court in your area. Its possible your court costs might be paid if you win.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 23, 2007, 02:59 PM

He will get visits by what ever is given by the court, so if he wins ( and he will win visits at least even if not joint custody. So ask the court to require parenting classes if that is an issue and also for supervised visits with no overnight till the child gets used to him.

But you need an attorney, there are so many legal tricks they can do.

s_cianci · Dec 23, 2007, 04:48 PM

Unless you can prove he'd be a danger to the child, if he wants visitation he'll get it. Since she is so young and hasn't yet had a chance to bond with him the visits would most likely be supervised and for a limited amount of time at first, with things gradually getting more and more liberal.

macksmom · Dec 24, 2007, 07:23 AM

The judge will most likely order a graduate visitation schedule. This is to help ease the child into visitation with someone she doesn't know or have a bond to. They want to do what's best for the child.
After my daughter was born, her father saw her a few times, then dropped out of the picture until she was about 15 months old. I had the same concern as you when we were in court. I didn't mind the visitation, I just didn't want her to be scared, or shipped for an overnight visit with someone she didn't know.
The judge ordered a graduated visitation schedule... it starts short amounts of times and supervised, but eventually leads to a regular visitation schedule.
Ours went something like this...

He got to see her every Saturday from 1:30-3:30 at a neutral location and I had to be there. That continued for a few months.
Then it moved up to Thursdays and Saturdays from 1:30-3:30 at a neutral locations and I had to be there. And that continued for a few months.
Then he was allowed to see her Saturdays 9am-3pm unsupervised, and Thursdays 1:30-3:30 unsupervised. And that continued for a few months.
Then he was allowed to take her for one overnight visit a week and was allowed to see her one other day unsupervised. And that continued for a few months.
After that it went to the every other weekends visits.

So as you can see, it started nice and slow and gave them a chance to get to know each other. It gave him a chance to know her and how to care for her, and allowed her to feel safe with him.
They will always try and do what's in the best interest of the child.