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ConcernedMommy08 · Dec 22, 2007, 08:59 PM

My husband has a 4 year old son with another woman. We have only seen him a few times when he was two years old. My husband would constantly give her money because that was the only way she would bring him over. None of this money was ever documented. Right when he began to develop a relationship with his son,she decided to move away. We have not seen him since. Just recently she contacted us. She is now married and wants her husband to adopt the little boy. My husband does not want this to happen. He has told her on plenty of occasions that he wants to see his son. She refuses. My husband considered signing his rights over but we did some checking up on her first. The environment that his son is living in is unacceptable. She and her husband drink constantly and have even smoked marijuana in front of them. Friends have said that the 4 yr old boy has even said "When I grow up,I am going go to the ghetto and pick up hoes and fight dogs." No four year old should ever even think these things. The DHR has taken him away from her before but she managed to regain custody. My husband has never been to court for anything involving his son.

We have refused to sign the papers and told her that he wanted rights to him. She began to act crazy and made many threats to both him and me. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how we should go about getting rights to him. I have all her threats on paper because they were made through the internet. I also have a witness to verify the conditions he is living in. PLease someone,anyone give us some advice!
Thank you.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 22, 2007, 09:58 PM

Ok, this is your husbands first and most serious issue, no court orders.

You get an attorney and file for custody, or at least visitaiton, and get court ordered child support. You will need reciepts, cancelled checks and the such of money you have paid so far, as proof of paying past child support.
Basically he needs to do what he should have done 4 years ago.

JudyKayTee · Dec 23, 2007, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Ok, this is your husbands first and most serious issue, no court orders.

You get an attorney and file for custody, or at least visitaiton, and get court ordered child support. You will need reciepts, cancelled checks and the such of money you have paid so far, as proof of paying past child support.
Basicly he needs to do what he should have done 4 years ago.

And if you think the situation is dangerous for the child you must file a report with your local Child Protection Agency - this, of course, will involve treatment of the child, not threats to you.

macksmom · Dec 23, 2007, 07:49 AM

Hire an attorney and take her to court for joint custody, visitation, child support... the works.
The ball is in your court... but your husband will have to act upon his rights as the father, he can't just sit back and expect things to happen.

As far as the rest, he doesn't need to worry... her new husband cannot adopt the child without your husbands consent... and he has to give that WILLINGLY.

s_cianci · Dec 23, 2007, 08:32 AM

Go to court and file a motion for custody. It'd also be a good idea to lawyer up.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 23, 2007, 03:51 PM

The only issue with ex's calling "Family and Children services" ( child protection serivices) is that in most areas they don't take complaints from ex's serious, and in most cases don't even check them out unless there is some other documentation. So currrent neighbors of the children, teaches of the children or someone involved with the children calling is what is really needed if there is aproblem. Your evidence ( if allowed in court) will help with custody issues and other requests of supervision of the other parent