[Ceasefire]

I'll keep it simple.

I have suicidal thoughts, but I'm too afraid to ever actually attempt it.

Small things trigger my depressive emotions, like being made fun of, or a small rejection by someone who hardly matters to me.

I feel I can survive my teenage years OK, though I'm still worried. But I'm really afraid that I might attempt suicide when I get older and I get a lot more rejection.

I'm afraid for myself down the road.

Will these feelings pass? Will I be OK?

(I am 18. Male.)

[Wondergirl]

Are you in h.s. or college? Do you have a guidance counselor or teacher or adult in your life that you would feel comfortable talking with? This is too big for you to carry around by yourself. You need a sounding board to bounce off ideas and thoughts and fears and dreams.

[simoneaugie]

Hi Ceasefire,
The mean things people say can make anyone feel bad. And, yes the comments will continue your whole life. Being in your teens is a hard time anyway. But, what worries you is suicidal depression.

Do your parents know how down you feel? Have you talked to anyone about it that could offer help? Do you have friends that you can talk to? You may need to be evaluated by a doctor. It's no small thing to suffer from clinical (it doesn't get much better no matter what you do) depression.

Having it doesn't mean that you are weak. It does hurt like hell. Berating yourself and judging yourself and acting like everything is OK just makes it worse. Find out if there's a medical answer out there. Many people are afraid of antidepressant drugs. They say all kinds of things about them. So, let me say something about them. Antidepressant medication changed my life. I had wanted to die since I was a little girl. Antidepressants made me realize that depression is not normal. Wanting to live, that's normal.

It sounds simple, until you try explaining it to someone who has never experienced depression. There are many of us who know what it's like. Several use this website regularly. Keep reaching out. And don't be afraid to seek treatment for yourself.

Simone

[Choux]

Instead of living in the moment where reality is, you are preoccupied with the future. You need a little help getting your focus readjusted!

Don't let your current depressive emotional state go on any longer without getting help. You know, I have a feeling that you would benefit greatly from having a 'Life Coach". There are some things that are very important that you have to learn how to deal with, one is perceived rejection without taking it to heart more than a few seconds. Adult life is going to be a lot of rejection if you have to work for a living.

One of the *most important* things any person has to learn in his/her live is "not to take things personally". How people treat you is a reflection of *their* thoughts and feelings. Let's face it, lots of people will like us, AND lots of people won't like us as we travel through life. We have to be strong enough not to be destroyed by perceived slights. What shores us up against being too sensitive are an appreciation of our skills and our character. It is important to have different skills in life, sports, hobbes, fields of special knowledge... have friends(they always love us)!

When we are looking for love and sex, we have to be persistent, AND NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY. :)

Yeah, I think a Life Coach could help you a lot. One thing a life coach will do is have you approach different girls and women and initiate a conversation. Maybe, 30 in one afternoon. Then you can talk about how things went.

Depending on what you need to learn how to do to make your life happy, he will design exercises to strengthen your social skills and toughen your skin. :)


Best wishes, you sound like a great guy in the making.

[bebegirl]

Hey there. Well first I know I don't know you. But.. I need to tell you something. I come on here every now and then and answer questions... mostly in the "relationship" or "music" area. I felt like for some reason I needed to search "suicide".. so I did.. I don't know if you're a believer or not. Regardless if you're... you are a valued person. Someone loves you. You have a special something about you that no one else has.. you may not see it now... but I promise it's there. A few years ago I dealt w/ cutting some... and I had thoughts of suicide as well. I never went through w/ anything obviously... but I just want to tell you that you will be okay. Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that I know exactly what it feels like to be made fun of and completely rejected by not only my peers but my family as well. I have to tell you that no one's opinion matters but your own. People will always ridicule you for whatever it may be... your faith, style... if you only wear black, your best friend... etc. It's just the cruel part of the human race. It does eventually get better. Don't be afraid for yourself... if you weren't going to be okay I don't think you would have tried to get answers on here. I could go on... but feel free to email me.
If you have an empty thought in your head on how I came through my ordeal of feeling like the world was after me... the answers below.

I don't know you... so I don't know what you believe or have been told your entire life... I don't know what has happened to you... and I don't know things you have prayed about that never happened. But... I can PROMISE you that someone loves you & sees every tear, heartache, and knows every thought. The devil wants you to believe there is nothing about yourself that's worth keeping & I want you to know that's a life from hell. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a wonderful year in 2008! Please feel free to email me anytime.
Bec


YouTube - The passion
^ please watch this video -- you'll feel better! I did

... someone loves you.