[jealous_girl]

Ok, so me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 4 months.

I'm 19, and he's 22. I was a virgin when we started going out. He wasn't and I knew this before losing my virginity to him. My ideal had always been to lose my virginity to another virgin, because I figured it would make it more special for both of us. But I knew and accepted my boyfriend wasn't a virgin.

The thing is, now I'm more attached to him, and so is he to me. I've been his second serious girlfriend, and his longest relationship. He had only had sex with the first girl, when he was 18, and she broke his heart and hurt him deeply (he's over it now, and has been since before I met him).

Well... he dislikes part of my past. When I was 15 I gave oral sex to a (at that time) close friend. That friend introduced me to my boyfriend later, like 3 years after what had happened. My boyfriend hates the guy.

And before I knew my boyfriend's ex, I was fine. But now I know who she is. And this is the pathetic part. She's very pretty. Very, very pretty. She has a boyfriend now, but she's still friends with my boyfriend. She has lots of admirers (what about me? None!). She's kind of... hmmm... an airhead (my opposite). And she had cheated on my boyfriend. So yeah, you can tell I dislike her a lot, even though we've never talked (I've just seen her). She has a blog.

He lost his virginity to her. So pretty and all. They only lasted 3 months, and they had sex at one month after starting what they had. And I shouldn't feel this way... I had never felt this until I talked about it with him today... see, she was a virgin too. So yeah, I kind of feel like my first time with him was not as special for him. And this is stupid, and selfish, and I shouldn't feel it, but I do! He said having experience allowed him to enjoy the sex more with me the first time... but, the emotional bond probably wasn't the same as with his first girlfriend. We hadn't been going out for so long (little more than a month) when we had sex, so yeah, we weren't as close as we are now. My first time with him was so special though, because he was very caring and everything and I thought I was at least his first virgin (his ex is older than him).

But he had lost it with a virgin... that must've been so special. He says I wasn't any less special than her the first time we did it, but I don't know, I kind of feel like one other girl... like he was enjoying the physical part more, but as if the emotional part wasn't that special to him... and I hate myself for feeling like this, because I know it's unfair, and childish selfish! I know life's not a fairy tale... I haven't mentioned it to him again though, and I won't why give him a hard time over something we already discussed and he tried to reassure me, plus it'd be totally unfair to give him a hard time just over some childish concern of mine... I just feel less special. And I don't know why.

Just needed to get it out of my chest... I know I'm being unfair here... especially since I had given OS to a guy before (oh believe me my boyfriend has given me such a hard time over this, because I wasn't dating the other guy at that time, so my BF thinks that was kind of immoral)... so what things can I do to stop this jealousy or something and feel better? :(

[basketballgirl]

I don't think you're really being unfair. You are jelous that someone else got to experience what you thought you would with the guy you loved. The thing is- they lasted three months. You guys have been going out for 16 months. I think you're just overthinking this. I honestly think you and him would have a much stronger emotional bond. Don't assume how he feels. He's with you now. It's not his fault he met her first, and also remember, without having had that relationship, would he be the same guy?

Hope this helps. Please check out my question, "What move should I make? Or should I make one at all?" :)

[aiyerrc]

Its not abnormal for this to make you a bit uneasy, but you can't let him see that insecurrty just because she is very pretty, and he lost his virginity to her. He is with you, and as far as I can tell, you both like each other very much. The more you act like it doesn't bother you, the more it will eventually not. He's with you, not her. I'm dating her type right now, and its not healthy for me, but I'm dealing with my own problems

If this is yalls only problem right now, then you have nothing to worry about it. It may come up from time to time due to something triggering it or what have you, but just remember everyone you meet who isn't a virgin and isn't dating someone lost it to someone. He is with you and enjoy the time you have with him. Whatever you do, don't let it get in the way between you, like it has between me, virgin, and my current GF, definitely not a virgin, and admitted to having a 3some in highshool. Now picture that in your head! Yea it sucks. Get over it, don't let it bother you!!

GOOD LUCK!