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    stephenn83's Avatar
    stephenn83 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 17, 2007, 11:55 AM
    Why does she need space?
    I have been going out with a girl for about 1 year and everything went fine the first 3 months. However it started to go down hill when things from her past came out and had to be taken care of. I wasn't into the relationship for the rest of the time after that... I just didn't care or do anything to make it work out. After she told me it was enough is when I realize that I was being a jerk to her. I want now to get over everything and to work towards our future but I don't know how to do it. She tells me that I have hurt her too much and now she needs time to forgive me and find out where she stands. Is there anyway to make this process faster? I don't want to be hurting for months just to find out that she is dating someone else. I know at this point in her life that there isn't anyone else that she just needs time. I have talked to her and told her that I wanted to change and that I wanted to be with her but all I get is the same thing. She doesn't want me to call and she doesn't call me... Can anyone help with this?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 17, 2007, 12:05 PM
    Do as she asks, leave her alone. You didn't care before, and all of a sudden she should just forgive and forget. I Don't Think So! You had a chance and blew it buddy.
    stephenn83's Avatar
    stephenn83 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 17, 2007, 12:10 PM
    With everything that had gone on in our relationship I feel like she should understand why I didn't care. Im asking if there is anything to hurry the process of her trying to figure out what she want? I don't want this to drag on for months, that's not healthy for either one of us... I want what she feels is best for her however I would like to know in some what of a reasonable time...
    CorrieNB's Avatar
    CorrieNB Posts: 78, Reputation: 8
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    #4

    Dec 17, 2007, 12:25 PM
    It sounds to me like you still don't care because if you did care about her and her fellings you would respect her wanting time and not pressure her to hurry her decission
    stephenn83's Avatar
    stephenn83 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 17, 2007, 12:29 PM
    But that's not the case at all... I do care very much about her, and because what had happened I didn't see it until we broke up... I just don't want her to judge the relationship on what took place in the past. I would like her to think of it as a new start.
    CorrieNB's Avatar
    CorrieNB Posts: 78, Reputation: 8
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    #6

    Dec 17, 2007, 12:34 PM
    Forgive and forget so easy to say but she needs her space right now and you should respect that by not respecting that it sounds as if you don't care maby you should try the singel life for a while good luck
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Dec 17, 2007, 01:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stephenn83
    But thats not the case at all... I do care very much about her, and because what had happened i didn't see it until we broke up... I just dont want her to judge the relationship on what took place in the past. I would like her to think of it as a new start.
    It's a little late for all that as the damage has been done. The best you can do is give her what she wants and get on with your life.
    stephenn83's Avatar
    stephenn83 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 17, 2007, 02:07 PM
    Why would she tell me not to call and then she calls me just to say hi? Does that mean anything?
    CorrieNB's Avatar
    CorrieNB Posts: 78, Reputation: 8
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    #9

    Dec 17, 2007, 02:28 PM
    Friends tell Friends hi
    Lowtax4eva's Avatar
    Lowtax4eva Posts: 2,467, Reputation: 190
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    #10

    Dec 17, 2007, 02:32 PM
    It sounds like it's over, she told you something about her past that she wasn't sure she wanted to tell you and you didn't take it well, you said yourself it made you stop caring about the relationship (for a while). Im sure she could tell that you didn't care and has decided to move on.

    She is trying to be nice about the breakup by saying she needs time and space but she just wants to be friends.

    That's just how I see it, maybe others will disagree...
    Spontaneouslemon's Avatar
    Spontaneouslemon Posts: 75, Reputation: 5
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    #11

    Dec 17, 2007, 04:23 PM
    If you really feel the need, try talking to her one last time.
    Make it simple and quick. Let her know you love her, apologize, let her know you understand her feelings, and tell her you want to work on your relationship.
    Then tell her having that said, you will give her all of the space she needs until she is ready to talk.
    And finally, give her the space. Stay busy, go out, do your own thing.
    When she is ready to talk she will, and she will be glad that you respected her wishes.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Dec 17, 2007, 08:34 PM
    And finally, give her the space. Stay busy, go out, do your own thing.
    When she is ready to talk she will, and she will be glad that you respected her wishes
    This sums it up very nicely.
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