[scardy_cat_la]

I've been with my boyfriend a long while now, we are both in our 20s. From the start he has always vocalised sex, and told me when he is horny etc. as I had never been in a relationship I found it hard and there was tension between us, as sometimes I got embarrassed etc. now I'm finding I'm comfortable with him and I REALLY do want sex. The thing is I can't explain myself to him. Basically I have stretch marks on various parts of my body, I've told him this, and he said let me see, luckily at the time they were hardly noticeable, but then I realised that in some lights they are worse so he hasn't seen the properly. Basically he feels I'm not ready for sex, but I am, I'm just scared of getting naked. How can I get over this as I want to be confident for her, I have nice lingerie as that turns him on and I really want sex but I just worry too much about my body. I'm also scared because I shaved off my hair, and now it goes all pimply when I shave, as it grows back within a day and I can't shave everyday. Does hair removal cream work better?

Also is I normal for my boyfriend to vocalise his sex thoughts so much, sometimes I wonder if he's with me for love or sex, but its obviously love considering we haven't slept together yet. I think I'm just scared of getting humilated. Please help me!

[smoothy]

You are just overly sensitive about what you perceive to be a flaw in your body. Trust me in that EVERY woman has flaws and to not worry about something you can't control.

Trust me in that he won't care about some stretch marks.

About shaving... what you can do is do this after a hot bath or shower. Never pass a razor over bare skin, spread shaving cream around before you pass over it again, rinse with cool, not hot water. Then do what my wife does to help prevent this. Dab the area with hydrogen peroxide. After a few minutes dry it off with a white towel or paper towels as peroxide can bleach anything with color. She never gets those bumps when she does it this way. Also try every 2 or 3 days until your skin gets used to it. Eventually you will be able to do it every day to keep it silky smooth. If you really like it smooth (I do) you can consider laser hair removal. You will have to do it a few times but eventually it will stay as smooth as your behind.

Some people are vocal, others aren't. It doesn't affect your amount of desire. I for one am the silent type, my wife is the vocal one. Just be happy if they are honest with you and accept you as you are.

[kp2171]

OK...

You do understand even the supposedly most beautiful women who pose for mag pics are airbrushed? Right?

The human body is imperfect. Get over yourself.

He is intereted in you. You might not think that you are worth the attention, but you are.

You need to get out of your own way.

I never, ever, when going down on a girl, thought... "boy, shes just a little too pimply today"...

Honey, he will be thrilled to see you, in whatever shape or form you are in whatever light there is.

I promise... unless you are not ready, you are making things more complicated than they need to be.

You need to believe you are worth of his attention, because you have it... even if you don't seem to believe you deserve it.

ENJOY YOURSELF!

[simoneaugie]

You read what the guys think, right? That's 99% true, they do not give a flaw more that a glance if having sex is in the offing. There are a rare few who not only care, but feel the need to make unflattering comments (and there is a special place in Hell reserved for them.) I doubt very much that your boyfriend is one of those. If he is, he would have said something intentionally mean already.

But, as a woman, I understand the shame. We've been brainwashed into thinking that we MUST look a certain way or we are doomed. You aren't perfect. Neither am I. The ones who look perfect are airbrushed, posed, lighted and made up by an expert. Until you get down and dirty with him and learn what he's all about in bed, it will continue to be scary.

Tell him that there are things about your naked body that cause you to feel unsure. Plan to have him check those out. Candlelight is good for his first viewing. Let him undress you slowly and get to know all of you. If you are not satisfactory, he can leave. He isn't going to leave! You are going to have sex, the fear will be at least dulled a bit.

Future sexual encounters can always include candles or his assurances that he finds you very sexy in spite of "flaws." Once naked, I'd bet that you can find places on his body that could be "better." Enjoy him, he wants you. Have sex with your friend who has made it very obvious that he wants to be with you.