|
I am at a crossroads.
My story was posted as 'What do you think about all this ?', she left me to go back to her ex after being with me for 2 years, she was with him 4 years ago and they had problems, they lived together for 2 years, he was not a christian, drank allot and verbly abused her, that's why she left, now she is living with him again and said he has changed and her feelings came back for him. I believe in time it will not work, she left me 4 months ago and has been in touch, she wanted to be friends, While I know she cares for me it was not enough to stay with me, the other day she messaged me at work and asked how I was and said that there was a band in town that she knew I liked, I said I was OK, but she got mad because I did not ask how she was right away, anyhow we started chating online and I said it was hard at times to talk to her, (I have been doing NC, she is the one who contacts me, I love her very much and want her back, we got along great and the break up was not bad) she said she was sorry and does not want to confuse me, well it got to the point of her saying I don't understand her sometimes and it is hard to talk to me and she is not going to talk to me anymore, I sent her a email saying I was sorry for some of the misunderstanding in our chat, we shall see if she replys back. I thought I could be a friend and told her I would always be there for her, I thought I could keep my feelings in check, yesterday I did not, its so hard. So what do I do, I know I will hear from her again, a friend says she is using me for comfort when she should be using the guy she's with (he is 55, she's 43) and I am on the backburner, could this be ? So do I remain in contact with her when she starts it, trying to keep my feelings in check, OR I was thinking of telling her my feelings for her one last time and saying I think it is best for both of us not to contact each anymore because its to hard for me and that if the day comes that my feelings for her are gone, then I will contact her and be her friend, but if I do that I will feel very sad, but maybe she may respect me more, she is such a special person, I have Never loved anyone more, what should I do, keep letting her contact me and hopeing someday she will come back or telling her I have to let her go and maybe someday she will see what she lost and want me.
|
