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worriedsomuch · Dec 4, 2007, 04:03 PM

I've been with my boyfriend for a while, and I've always felt great with him. But recently he's been bringing up sex a lot. I'm not ready for it just yet, and he appreciates that. But he keeps saying I'm so beautiful and have great sex appeal and that he can't believe a goodlooking girl like me has never had sex and apparently he keeps dreaming about me in like stockings and things. Can you just tell me if this is normal? I'm worried he's going to use me for sex. I may be inexperienced but I'm not soft touch, I know what I want and what I don't, and I'm worried that deep down he may be thinking he's got this perfect innocent angel who he can use and abuse? I'm not sure, maybe I'm just being really paranoid?

Baby-_-Girl-_-19 · Dec 4, 2007, 04:57 PM

Just curious, How old are you and how old is he?

mjl · Dec 4, 2007, 05:03 PM

No, that is not normal. If he really loved you he would wait until you were ready. And by that I don't mean until you just say your ready because he wants you to. He shouldn't be pressuring you into it. It should be a decision you make all on your own, when you are ready to.

You are not being pariniod, you are listening well to your instincts. If you don't want to then don't do it. You will regret it if your not ready.

sarac18 · Dec 4, 2007, 05:05 PM

How long have you exactly been together and how old are the two of you. If you're young... like still under 21... don't worry about it. I can't tell you if he's wanting to "use you" because men are never readable!! :) All I can tell you is to hold on to your morals and what you feel it right for you and your body. If you don't feel like you're ready or that he's the one you want to lose it to, then don't. Listen to yourself. Take a day or two with some friends and talk about it, or better yet really sit down and talk to him.

worriedsomuch · Dec 4, 2007, 05:18 PM

We are both 21, I've known him for a year, been together for about 6 months. To be honest the only reason I won't have sex is because I'm scared of him seeing me naked, as I have marks on my boobs and thighs. He does respect me, but all this sex talk makes me wonder, but at the same time I know lads have sex on their mind a lot

mjl · Dec 4, 2007, 05:44 PM

If he really loves you he won't care if you have marks on you. It would be the last thing on his mind when in the middle of things.

s_cianci · Dec 4, 2007, 05:46 PM

I don't think you're being paranoid. Let him know once and for all where you stand on the issue and that's that. Be honest and upfront with him ; then the ball's in his court. If he wants to leave you over it, he will and good riddance. And if he wants to wait for you, he'll do that also.

Baby-_-Girl-_-19 · Dec 4, 2007, 07:02 PM

I understand your fear about being naked... the reason I asked about your age is because the way he's talking seems like something a teenager would do, I mean, trying to pressure you like that. Talk to him about how you're feeling and about your fears, after six months I think he's man enough to hear about how you're feeling without anything holding you back. If you feel that you are ready self consiousness aside then take it slow... if he cares about you he won't care about your marks... trust me I have the same issues, my boyfriend doesn't care... he doesn't even seem to notice.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 4, 2007, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

I don't think you're being paranoid. Let him know once and for all where you stand on the issue and that's that. Be honest and upfront with him ; then the ball's in his court. If he wants to leave you over it, he will and good riddance. And if he wants to wait for you, he'll do that also.

I have to spread some rep, but I wanted to give you a big thumbs up! You are so right.