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    angel0772001's Avatar
    angel0772001 Posts: 233, Reputation: 7
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    #1

    Dec 1, 2007, 10:37 PM
    Why do I care?
    OK I was engaged and so much in love with this guy for two years we dated on and off since I was 13 years old. We have a two year old daughter together. Well he cheated on me with another girl she got pregnant. I moved on and am getting married in January. Their baby was born today and ever since I found out I have been so depressed. Why do I even care I'm over him. What's my deal?? Please someone give me some advice:(
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Dec 1, 2007, 10:49 PM
    You had a relationship for two years. Obviously old wounds still need some healing. Have you gone for counseling? Now did you move on even though you were not ready? Your feeling that your missing out on another child? I also know that you will always have a connection because of your daughter and it will be hard to see that part of life that you thought would be forever. You should be thankful that you know his nature and that he is now responsible for two children. I take it you want to have more children? Do not do anything rash, there must be things going through your mind right now and him having this baby just reminds you of him cheating on you. That is probably why your feeling so down. I recommend counseling. Just to get your thoughts clear, you also need to learn to let go of the past and move onto the future, are you worried about it?
    angel0772001's Avatar
    angel0772001 Posts: 233, Reputation: 7
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    #3

    Dec 1, 2007, 10:54 PM
    Yeah you are very right. I am so worried that I will get cheated on. I love my fiancé to death and we are taking marriage counseling classes before the wedding. Maybe that will help??
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #4

    Dec 1, 2007, 10:57 PM
    I am sure it will. Past relationships people have a tendency of letting it affect their future ones. If you do not get past what has happened to you it will effect your current one. Marriage counseling classes before the wedding? If you do not mind me asking, is it through the church. My wife and I took them through our Catholic church. There was a lot of issues they covered and lots of working through things together. Many good things that came up of it. Also teaches resolutions and so forth. Best wishes for your upcoming marriage.

    Edit:::::::::: Does your future husband know how you feel and that you fear that happening? Just because of your past experiences. If not, the counseling will probably bring that out?
    angel0772001's Avatar
    angel0772001 Posts: 233, Reputation: 7
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    #5

    Dec 1, 2007, 11:01 PM
    No he doesn't know how I feel but he does know that something is wrong. Yes the counseling is through the church. My preacher thinks that you should always do that for two months. It has helped us out in many ways and let us see things in a much better way. I am kind of nervous for him to know that I feel this way though
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
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    #6

    Dec 2, 2007, 07:45 AM
    Have you truly given yourself enough time to get over this relationship? I mean, you said that what ended the relationship was him cheating and getting this woman pregnant. Now the baby was just born and you are engaged and getting married in a month.
    It just seems so fast. You have gone from one relationship to another. Your fiancé is probably a great guy and all, but have you moved on in your heart? Have you dealt with all the pain caused by your ex? An affair can break down every thing you know to be true. It is a hard thing to get over.
    I don't mean to come across harsh or anything. It just seems as if you went from the frying pan to the fire.
    Have you properly healed? Maybe that is why you are so bothered with this new baby.
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