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momof8431 · Nov 26, 2007, 06:54 AM

HI I have 4 children ages 8, 4, 3, 1 my 8 and 4 year old are from a previous relationship I left my ex when my 4 year old was 3 months old. And my boyfriend is the only father the 4 year old knows. The first year my ex and I separated he stuck to our agreement that he would take his kids every other weekend. The first year he had the kids 50 nights. The second year he had then 22 nights the third year he say them twice for the day . It has now been 14 and he has not seen the kids he has called once on the 8 year olds b-day but other then that he has no contact with us. He is ordered to pay weekly child support and pays it 75 percent of the time. My boyfriend and I will be married in 9 months and my 4 yr old will start school next fall we want to change their last names I have tried to talk to their father but he will not answer his phone and will not call me back. He only lives 10 minutes from my house but I still can't get a hold of him. We live in Maine and I want to know what if anything I can do. Thank you:confused:

Fr_Chuck · Nov 26, 2007, 08:08 AM

Most likely not, if he is still paying "some child support" and sometimes calling. Each state has its own rules, which normally include no contact at all, and no payment at all for a period from 6 months to a couple years.

If your soon to be husband wants to adopt, you after you are married, ** also some states will want you married a year or more to adopt, but you need a local attorney to review you case. In most times the bio father will be contacted and asked to give up the rights first, which is easier than trying to get them taken away

macksmom · Nov 26, 2007, 08:16 AM

The bio father has not abandoned the children since he is paying support and making some contact. And even so, trying to charge him with abandonment does not automatically terminate his parental rights.

The only way you are going to be able to change the children's last name (married or not) you are going to have to get the fathers consent.

And if your hopes are to have your boyfriend adopt the children, again the father is going to have to willingly relinquish his parental rights, and as Chuck said most states require you to be married at least a year before they would even allow for the adoption.