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JillfromGa · Nov 25, 2007, 02:58 PM

We live in Georgia. My daughter is 19 years old and had a baby a little over a month ago. She was in a two year relationship with the child's father but due to lies, abuse, etc. She broke it off with him (she never lived with him) Approx 2 weeks after the breakup she finds out she is pregnant. She told him that they could have a "baby relationship" but not a "sexual relationship"... she was through with the heartache... During the pregnancy he never offered any money or anything for her or the arrival of the baby. When she delivered the baby approx a month ago we kept it quiet that she was at the hospital until after the birth. My husband tried calling him that night 4 times he never answered. The next day at work (yes they work together) he told him that the baby was here healthy and looked like her mother. My daughter had requested that he not show up in her room but could see the baby in the nursery at the hospital. He never called her or anything to ask about them. He shows up "unannounced" and 4 witnesses watched him walk by every nurse in the hospital and never ask where the baby was. He went to the nursery and turned around and walked out. The baby was nursing in my daughter's room. So when someone knocked on the door to tell me they seen him. I got her ready to go down to the nursery so that he could see her. He never appeared again. So he didn't get to see her.

My daughter gave the baby her last name. And is wanting to know how she could get him to completely be out of her life so that later on down the road she doesn't have to worry about him popping up in her life. Of course when she's a teenager there's little you can do but as far as the legality of it is what we are needing to know.
He DOES NOT PAY ANY CHILD SUPPORT AT ALL and she has NOT asked him for anymoney whatsoever. She was told that IF she asked for money then he had rights. He is not mentality stable... he has cerebral palsy. Not severe but enough that you know he is "slow thinking"... "slow acting" and is lucky to keep a job to be honest.

My daughter says she doesn't want one red cent from him! Would someone who has been in these shoes tell me what you would do? So I could let my daughter read this and she can move on without fear of him trying to do something later on. I don't believe he would. But then again. His sister has money and here in these small towns money talks. Thank you for your time and Hopefully we can get some answers on this.
My suggestion to her has been to get a lawyer and be done with it.

s_cianci · Nov 25, 2007, 03:17 PM

Well he does have rights whether he pays child support or not. Of course, those rights are contingent upon paternity being proven. This would have to happen if she were to sue him for child support. But you've indicated that she doesn't want that. That being the case, it is not necessary, at least from a legal standpoint, for her to seek an adjudication of paternity. However, keep in mind that if she were to ever apply for public assistance she'd be required to pursue an action of child support against the father. Now, from his end of things, if he wants to pursue his paternal rights he can compel your daughter and her baby to submit to a DNA test, just as would happen if she were suing him for child support. Once the results are obtained the court will enter an order for visitation and child support. But if paternity is never proven then he cannot assert his paternal rights.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 25, 2007, 03:24 PM

Yes, as the father of the child he has all the rights a father would have. He will if they are not married and he is not on the birth certifictate have to go to court and request a DNA test to prove he is the father.
After that he can get visitations. If you can prove he is mentally unstable with evidnece that can be used in court.

Now if your daughter and the baby has to get any state welfare, they will want to know the babies father, and the state will often go after the father to get paid back for their welfare they paid out.

So you can either do nothing and see if he files for visitation, or she can file for child support first.

JillfromGa · Nov 25, 2007, 06:18 PM

Thank you for the answers you both gave me. We have heard this from most everyone who has went through similar instances also. The one that scared me the most was a mother at our church whose father never had anything to do with the child then when the child was potty trained, walking and talking, he took her to court, had the child's last name changed to his and got visitation and he had never paid child support.

When my daughter was in the hospital, the medical records department really helped my daughter with this 3 day process. She was indecisive on the Parental Aknowledgement form that the father has to sign IF his name is to be on the birth certificate in our state of Georgia. Of course, his fly by night of not seeing the baby and not asking any questions led to no Parental Aknowledgement being even brought up or signed by "him"... So my daughter left the "child's father" blank.

She isn't on any type of assistance, except Wellcare (Peachcare for Kids). No foodstamps or anything like that. My daughter works at a daycare, and daycare will be free for our granddaughter which will be a blessing also. Thank you again for the responses.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 25, 2007, 06:31 PM

I will believe for peachcare for kids, they will want to know about the child support she receives.

It is in my opinion, a lot better now, to take him to court on "HER" terms asking for child support and limited visits. Then when he does not visit, and does not pay court ordered child support, he will not look good to the court latter. In the one case, there has to be some issues, since the court almost never ( and in GA I mean I have never heard of another case) where they ordered the child's name change, He must have been wealthy and she must not have had an attorney