[Prettyboyfloyd]

I think I tell my wife too much. For example, I might say I want to start a business and then I don't do it. When it does not happen I feel she is somewhat disappointed. Or I may tell her something about a family member and then at a later time she may call me or bring up the information I shared w/ her in a negative way. Like right now I told her I am going to ask you guys this question. I am sharing too much.

[donf]

Prettyboy,

If you cannot share anything with your wife, you are in trouble.

However, that said, you may want to change your question format. For example, "I want to start a business, do you mind talking about that?" The real failure sees to be that you don't follow up and let your wife know your final decisions. Also, if you don't want your wife to open decussions about something you told her. Ask her to keep it just between you and her.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, you can not ever share too much with a wife. Butyou need to talk and be sure that you are sharing things in a way that she knows you can just talk.

[N0help4u]

I agree with the other two go about how you say things in a more thinking about it what do you think about... way. Also try and include her maybe if she feels included then she will put more motivation in your wanting to involve her. Maybe she could get things rolling too like after you talk WITH her about your ideas and she sounds interested ask her if she can make some phone calls or whatever it takes to start. But keep involved so she doesn't feel like you STUCK her with it.

[kiki_doki]

I think that if you can't share your dreams without feeling you have disapointed her if you don't achieve this is a problem! I don't think you have to share everything though, for example your family business that she will then bring up again and throw back in your face. You now need to ask yourself, is it OK that she does this, if the answer is no then don't tell her anything else regarding your family... Although for me the problem wouldn't be I'm sharing too much it would be can I trust my wife with information! I feel its more her problem than yours!

[talaniman]

If you cannot share thoughts and feelings then what's the point of being married? If she throws it back in a negative way, tell her how that displeases you, and makes you feel bad. If she continues, the next step is intervention by a trusted friend, or professional. Good Luck.

[mseik]

There's no such thing as too much sharing in a healthy relationship. There is such a thing as holding someone's words or feelings for ransom, and that's an adversarial stance that needs to be dealt with immediately through honest, direct communication with your partner about how this feels for you.

There are tools for healthy communication that are best learned through an objective intermediary, better known as a therapist or counselor.

Something to remember as one of the cardinal rules in healthy relationship communication:

Never discuss issues with others before you've discussed them with your partner. If you're unable to do that, there's a serious communication issue brewing.

Direct communication is the best communication. If you still can't resolve the issue, that's where objective (and qualified) intervention takes place. Consulting an online forum is a good indicator that communication and trust issues are surfacing.

Neither you nor your partner should ever have to feel as though your words, thoughts, or actions will be held for ransom later on. It's just not healthy. It destroys trust, sets an adversarial tone in your interaction with one another, and worst of all, you lose your confidante and that sense of sacred space people in a loving supportive relationship share.

Be direct, be respectful, be honest, be clear in your communication about your feelings around this issue. If you still find there's a problem after you've done that, then professional objective intermediation is usually the best way to go.