[chris28]

Hey All,

Just stopping by to gripe a little so I do not break my NC. I would say its been about 8 weeks so far that me and my ex girl are broken up. She called my cousin because he got engaged and she also called my grandmother to say hi and all. We also have a few mutual friends that I still keep in touch with and hang out. The other day I found out that she asks how I am doing and all nothing more just asks for a update to make sure I'm still breathing. This is were it gets interesting. She also told them she would like to call me but she said that I'm so in love with her and attached to her I wouldn't be able to stand to talk to her and not have her. She also told them that I loved her so much more than she could ever love me and that I need her. She went on how she was my everything. OMG you don't know how bad I wanted to call her on the spot and flip out on her. I mean she's going out doing what she has to do FINE! Were not together but why is she talking all this garbage?? What did I do?? I don't call her I don't text her I don't email her. I don't get it. To top it all off she calls my cousin and ask how I'm doing so his answer is great and she starts laughing and is like yea sure. My grandmother the same thing she say's he's doing great and she's don't believe it. She thinks she's gods gift to men I don't get it. I feel like she never cared about me especially with this cocky attitude. I just don't know but I had to vent to get this all out so I don't break NC, cause she won't ever she just wants to talk how I'm sooo in need of her...

Any thought??

[tickle]

I guess she is in denial and this is her way of coping with the breakup. Why does it bother you so much. It is probably wishful thinking on her part, but was the split amicable, did you both agree to split up ?

I think there is more to this story then meets the eye :) (or lips)

[ordinaryguy]

She's just trolling for a reaction from you. Don't take the bait.

[chris28]

I guess she is in denial and this is her way of coping with the breakup. Why does it bother you so much. It is probably wishful thinking on her part, but was the split amicable, did you both agree to split up ?

I think there is more to this story then meets the eye :) (or lips)

Well I just felt like she didn't want to be with me no more and one day we had a small figth and I was like what gives do you no want to be with me or something? She was like of course I do after going back and forth she said you no what no I don't think its working we have different beliefs that are to different. I wanted to try to make it work but it was over at that point. We were 3 hours from home so we spent the next 3 hours driving home when we got to her house we hugged kissed and I left and that was the last time I saw her.

She's just trolling for a reaction from you. Don't take the bait.

I kind of lost it not to her but I did get a little upset and told her friend what's her problem? Her friend told me she don't even trust her when it comes to loyalty she had a friendship with a girl for 10 yrs the my ex met a new friend and bang never talked to her again or anything. No tears never any upset atitude that's it she's just COLD!

[chris28]

Well I just felt like she didnt want to be with me no more and one day we had a small figth and I was like what gives do u no want to be with me or something?? She was like of course I do after going back and forth she said you no what no I dont think its working we have different beliefs that are to different. I wanted to try to make it work but it was over at that point. We were 3 hours from home so we spent the next 3 hours driving home when we got to her house we hugged kissed and I left and that was the last time i saw her.




I kind of lost it not to her but I did get a little upset and told her friend whats her problem?? Her friend told me she dont even trust her when it comes to loyalty she had a friendship with a girl for 10 yrs the my ex met a new friend and bang never talked to her again or anything. no tears never any upset atitude thats it shes just COLD!

That's my thought of her!

[s_cianci]

Just stick to your guns and keep on doing what you've been doing. She'll get the idea out of her head sooner or later.

[chris28]

Just stick to your guns and keep on doing what you've been doing. She'll get the idea out of her head sooner or later.

You I hear that its just sad how after 3 years this is the way things worked out and this is what she really thinks and believes.

[shygrneyzs]

How is she abusing you? She is playing games with you and members of your family. Guess that could be some kind of emotional abuse. You do not have to listen to any of it. When you family tells you, stop them right away and say, "I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THIS." Then stick to it. In fact, you can go as far as informing your family and friends that talking about you, behind your back to this woman, is a breach of your personal confidentiality. They do not need to be telling tales about you to her. Once they stop feeding that beast information, she will give up.

You keep that No Contact in place. Do not rise to her baiting, rise above her and keep the higher ground to yourself. She wants you to call and rant. If you do that, she wins!

[chris28]

How is she abusing you? She is playing games with you and members of your family. Guess that could be some kind of emotional abuse. You do not have to listen to any of it. When you family tells you, stop them right away and say, "I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THIS." Then stick to it. In fact, you can go as far as informing your family and friends that talking about you, behind your back to this woman, is a breach of your personal confidentiality. They do not need to be telling tales about you to her. Once they stop feeding that beast information, she will give up.

You keep that No Contact in place. Do not rise to her baiting, rise above her and keep the higher ground to yourself. She wants you to call and rant. If you do that, she wins!

Ya that makes sense, But it makes me wonder could she serious believe that. Does she believe I'm going to die without her. That Im so in love with her I can't deal with it. I just do not know anymore.

[shygrneyzs]

Yes, she seriously believes this. She is too much into herself to know anything else. Used to call those kind of females as having as "goddess complex" - the world circles around them and every man in her orbit. Good thing you are done with her, that would have a tough relationship to fulfill.

[Chery]

Chris, just keep up with the NC, and don't worry about who she talks to or what she asks. They all know she is crazy and that you are better off without her. She is just bored with herself and does not know what else to do right now.. It is no longer your problem, too bad it took three years of your valuable time to experience one with a complex as big as her's.

I hope you find the woman you deserve, just give yourself time and get to know other women who are not so self-serving.

Good luck and keep us posted on your healing progress. You sound like you're doing pretty good except for being angry at her communicating with others. She is still alive and will talk to anyone who will listen, but it should not bother you that much anymore.

[chris28]

Chris, just keep up with the NC, and don't worry about who she talks to or what she asks. They all know she is crazy and that you are better off without her. She is just bored with herself and does not know what else to do right now.. It is no longer your problem, too bad it took three years of your valuable time to experience one with a complex as big as her's.

I hope you find the woman you deserve, just give yourself time and get to know other women who are not so self-serving.

Good luck and keep us posted on your healing progress. You sound like you're doing pretty good except for being angry at her communicating with others. She is still alive and will talk to anyone who will listen,, but it should not bother you that much anymore.

Hey Funny thing she really will talk to anyone who will listen that is sooo true that's exactly her lol. I am definitely doing well just hit ruff patches sometimes like the holidays now and I find out what she's saying. O well point is I agree with u

[cerisa]

Sounds to me like an inferiority complex in which she needs to reaffirm her (percieved)superiority over you. If you treat her as insignificant it hurts her worse than if you told her off. Maintain total no contact. It is exactly what she does not want.You are lucky to have gotten away from this one.

[N0help4u]

Send a message back via your mutual friends that says

Evidently she is the one N0T over me just LOOK at the obsession that she can't stop talking about me after I have had N0 CONTACT with her all this time!

That should nip it in the bud!

[enigmagnetic]

Hey All,

Just stopping by to gripe a little so I do not break my NC. I would say its been about 8 weeks so far that me and my ex girl are broken up. She called my cousin because he got engaged and she also called my grandmother to say hi and all. We also have a few mutual friends that I still keep in touch with and hang out. The other day I found out that she asks how I am doing and all nothing more just asks for a update to make sure im still breathing. This is were it gets interesting. She also told them she would like to call me but she said that im so in love with her and attached to her I wouldn't be able to stand to talk to her and not have her. She also told them that I loved her so much more than she could ever love me and that I need her. She went on how she was my everything. OMG you don't no how bad I wanted to call her on the spot and flip out on her. I mean she's going out doing what she has to do FINE! were not together but why is she talking all this garbage????? what did i do??? I don't call her I don't text her I don't email her. I don't get it. To top it all off she calls my cousin and ask how I'm doing so his answer is great and she starts laughing and is like yea sure. My grandmother the same thing she say's hes doing great and she's don't believe it. She thinks she's gods gift to men I don't get it. I feel like she never cared about me especially with this cocky attitude. I just don't know but I had to vent to get this all out so I don't break NC, cause she wont ever she just wants to talk how I'm sooo in need of her...

Any thought???

She is an insecure little girl and goading you to get you to call her and breakdown and flip her out. Women are 10 times better than us at emotional control. She is trying to make herself feel better. A secure individual feels no need to bash the other person because they are secure with their own position in life. Don't let it frustrate you, realize she is still a bit angry about the breakup and has to use passive aggressiveness to get back at you. It's classic. Has happened to me before. Listen, if you really want to show her how much of a good guy you are than laugh those things off. When your friends mention it then say "haha, well if that makes her feel better". Don't respond negatively at all, in fact say you're happy she's doing well. Make it look like it doesn't even faze you. Do not call her as you would be playing right into her game. Be strong. You're doing well and the fact you are keeping NC is driving her to do these ridiculous and childish things. Cheers!

[Chery]

Hey Funny thing she really will talk to anyone who will listen that is sooo true thats exactly her lol. I am definatly doing well just hit ruff patches sometimes like the holidays now and I find out what shes saying. O well point is i agree with u

Thanks hon. Next time you can click on the orange button and 'rate this answer', then agree with our help that way.

Glad I could help.

[chris28]

Sounds to me like an inferiority complex in which she needs to reaffirm her (percieved)superiority over you. If you treat her as insignificant it hurts her worse than if you told her off. Maintain total no contact. It is exactly what she does not want.You are lucky to have gotten away from this one.

Question I have her on my myspace account and she has me now that this is going on would I look like a dummy or look weak if I removed her now.?

[chris28]

Everyone is saying to take her out of everything and I have not this makes me want to.

[shygrneyzs]

Remove her! You would not look like a dummy or a weak person - it would be a smart move.

[cerisa]

Take her out! She has no power to use you if you don't let her.