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rachelmac058 · Nov 15, 2007, 12:52 PM

My fiancé and I are planning our large wedding in New York for June. The thing is he was in the military and while he was active we secretively got married without telling any friends or family members. Now he is out of the military and we are planning a wedding. We are getting married in New York at a catholic church and are going to go through the regular format. Can we resign our marriage license and change the date? What do we do?:rolleyes:

450donn · Nov 15, 2007, 01:15 PM

Why? Simply tell the priest that you are married. He should understand and guide you in the correct options for your faith.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 15, 2007, 01:24 PM

No, you can not get a new marriage license, the one you got is it, that is your real marriage date. And no you can not get "married" in the catholic Church, you have to let the priest know you are already married, and he will do a blessing service. If you do not tell him the truth, when he wants a marriage license and you don't have one, he will not do any service at all.

LearningAsIGo · Nov 16, 2007, 08:33 AM

Your marriage has already taken place. You could plan a "formal" service, but it cannot change your license by law of the state or a church. Sorry, but you won't be able to hide this for long. You'll have to present an unsigned marriage license before the ceremony... or it won't take place (as Fr_Chuck described). Save yourself a lot of trouble now and tell your Priest... and family.
I know... my cousin got married secretly... then announced it at her "formal" church wedding. There were a lot of hurt feelings.

Oh, and he's not really your fiancé any more ;)

donf · Nov 16, 2007, 11:57 AM

Rachel,

My wife and I went through the same process as your are going through.

Bonnie and I eloped in July of 1965. When I turned 21 in 1968, we went to "Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church, New Rochelle, NY and asked to be married in the church on July 10, 1968.

The first Priest we spoke to refused to allow us to wait until July and insisted that we get married immediately. Bonnie refused because she did not want two different anniversary dates. The second Priest at Blessed Sacrament said that it was fine with him and we were married again on July 10, 1968.

Because we were already married by a Justice of the Peace in Maryland, we did not have to go through the "Pre Cana Classes" and since we were both Cradle Catholics, and had received the Sacraments of Baptism, Holy Communion, Penance and Confirmation we did not have to repeat classes on these sacraments.

My suggestion to you would be to bring your Priest up to date on your marital status as soon as possible. Ask your priest for the same date as your Civil Marriage.

Please do not start your marriage within the Catholic Communities with a deception. It is not needed. Catholic Cannon Law does in fact recognize Civil Marriages as well as other Faith Based marriages.

What you are asking for is the Church's Blessing on your marriage and a re-statement of your vows in front of family and friends. If you choose to not let friends and family know that you were married in a prior service, that's your choice. I would suspect that your priest would be more than happy to welcome you back into our community.

Also, please thank your husband on my behalf for his service to our country!