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ttara81 · Nov 12, 2007, 04:29 PM

My fiancé and I have been together for 8 yrs now. I have NEVER been pregnant. Neither of us have ever been to a doctor to see why we can't conceive because of financial issues. Sometimes I present signs and symptoms of endometriosis, but again, I have not been checked out or properly diagnosed. What should I do if I don't have means to see a professional? What are some ways or tricks that may help with conception? The both of us want children really really bad... everyone tells us to be patient, or, be glad you don't have kids, but we actually want to raise a family. I am 27 and he is 26. I think we are getting to the point to where its now or never... I am so frustrated. I want more than anything to be a mommy. Does anyone have any suggestions, or, some kind, encouraging words? I will certainly appreciate any response... :o

lobrobster · Nov 12, 2007, 04:58 PM

At the risk of sounding like a real jerk...

If you can't afford medical care for yourself, are you SURE you're ready to bring kids into the world? They're kind of expensive, you know.

ttara81 · Nov 12, 2007, 05:13 PM

I understand exactly what you mean... no you're not sounding like a jerk, you're just being realistic. I guess when its meant to be, it will be! Thanks for the reality check! What you are saying is very true, but it doesn't change the way I feel about having children. I appreciate your honesty.

J_9 · Nov 12, 2007, 06:33 PM

I have to agree with Lobrobster. If you don't have the ability to pay for a doctor how will you have the ability to pay for obstetric care let alone 18 - 21 years of the child's life.

Children are VERY expensive, and I mean VERY VERY. Sure you may want to have a child, but can you afford vaccinations, well-baby visits, formula (if you are unable to breastfeed, which some women are unable), diapers, new clothes every few weeks for the first year or so, childcare expenses if you have to work, insurance, baby food, toys, basically everything a child needs to grow and develop mentally as well as physically. This adds up to hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Now, for your question, if you have been trying for 8 years you both NEED to be seen by a medical professional to determine which one of you is having the problem.

ttara81 · Nov 12, 2007, 09:34 PM

I can see what u both are saying... however, my financial situation is only temporary... I am almost finished with my bachelor's degree in criminal justice in which I will be pursuing a career in very soon. Right now, we are living off my fiance's income and we are doing fine, however, I can't afford right now to pay for my own private health insurance... I am 27 yrs old... I know how much of a responsibility children are. You all have made me feel like a child who wants their first pet and mommy and daddy are warning me of the huge responsibility it will be... I have a strong faith in God and I know that when and if the time comes, he will provide for me... I asked this question to get help with my problem, not to be ridiculed... thanks anyway... :confused:

lobrobster · Nov 13, 2007, 12:42 AM

Tara,

I didn't mean to ridicule you. Good love and parenting will mean more to your children than money ever could. It's just that I have two kids and am self employed which means for the most part, I only have catastrophic medical coverage. In other words, every time they come down with a cold or whatever (which seemed like all the time when they were very young), I pretty much paid out of pocket, so it got to be REAL costly even though I was able to write off most of it. I just wanted to make you aware of that.

You guys should see a fertility specialist. There are all kinds of things the two of you can do to increase the chances for conception. Fertility drugs, timing of sex, etc. Maybe Google the subject on the internet. I'm not a doctor, but I know there are things you can do. Again, good luck!

J_9 · Nov 13, 2007, 03:55 AM

I did not mean to ridicule you either. However, in your first post you made it clear that you could not afford a doctor to get checked out. It sounded as though you were going into this with your eyes closed as far as finances are concerned. Oh I do know the budget of a student as I am one myself and we are living off my husband's income and raising 2 children ourselves. It's not easy.

When you graduate and get that career you should see a fertility specialist, both of you need to so that medical problems can be ruled out for the both of you. As you have been trying for 8 years there is most likely something medical going on here.

ttara81 · Nov 13, 2007, 02:28 PM

Thanks lobrobster.. I appreciate your honesty!

ttara81 · Nov 13, 2007, 02:30 PM

Thanks! I appreciate your honesty... hopefully one day we can get the proper help that we need!. thanks for your time!

ttara81 · Sep 8, 2011, 08:18 PM

I know it's been nearly 4 years since I posted this... so I wanted to let you guys know that my (then fiance) and I got married in 2008 and got pregnant at the end of 2008. We had our son on Sept 1, 2009! We couldn't be happier! Evidently there wasn't anything wrong with either of us... it just wasn't our time yet! Our son just turned 2 and I love every aspect of being a mommy! Life is great!