[boop21197]

I don't know how to handel this, and I'm hoping someone out there can give me some ensued,
I'm 54
My husband is 53
We have been together for 11 years,
For about 8 years of this I was depress and menopause was over taken me, my sex drive was none,
This past year my husband met someone in 2006,
I found out her number and called her, the woman told me that he told her that he still cared of me and that he's promise to take care of me that he was not going to ask me to leave.
I ask her how many times they had been together, and she told me twice.
When she told me this, I snap out of my depression, I went to the doctor and he give me something for my menopause,
Now I wanting sex all the time and he doesn't, he use to want it all the time,
All his friends and him tell me that he is not seeing this girl anymore, and I believe him and them cause they would know cause he spends more time with his friends than me.
I feeling very undesirable, I use to weight 167, now I'm down to 130, I dyed my hair back blonde, I wear my makeup now, and I even wear sexty little clothes.
But he acts like he is not interested anymore, not like he use too. I think there is something wrong with me, he tells me that he loves me very much and that I'm still his boop, what can I do to get my husband back or can I, is it to late for us. I have tired everything.
I work from 6am to 2pm Monday to Thursday, when I get home from work he spends maybe 45 minutes with me, then off to his friends house. And comes home when Im going to bed. I'm off on the weekends and we still don't do anything together, his friends see more of him than I do. I'm feeling very lonely, I even have caught myself looking at other men. Which I never use to do cause I was married, I love my husband very much, but I feel that he doesn't love me or want me like he use too.
Cause before he had the affair we were all over each other, then after he told this girl that he was going back with me, he doesn't want sex that much, I'm lucky to get it at lease 9 times a mo.
Can someone please tell me what you think?

[statictable]

I think you might have just sat back and relaxed while the Titanic was s-o-s ing the entire world.
I think your husband looked everywhere for you and despair set in as his search continued.
A life jacket kept his face above water until he was rescued. Could he have searched longer? Probably. Can we fault him for jumping ship? Can we fault you for lack of incentive?
There's no winner here. You have both lost an important part of your relationship with or without fault owed.
Both should sit and discuss future directions and if they include reuniting then let the work begin.

Best wishes.

[Fr_Chuck]

Marriage counseling, he cheated, most likely has issues over it, and also major chnages in you, does not mean he has changed or perhaps all changes were what he wanted. There needs to be talking and working on the relationship long before the jump in the bed is going to work.