[sweetie88]

I've met this lad in work I like, he is 22 nearly I am 19. We got on well in work, started texting and getting together on nights out. I went round to his house a few times, but he said some things which made me slightly worried (basically there differences between the two of us) I panicked and fled. We ended up together after another night out, and again I told him it couldn't go further.

Basically my problem is that I can commit to anything because I hate the way I am, I really hate my body as I have stretch marks and it is not appealing. I'm petrified of commitment as I'm worried that whoever I am with will freak out when they see me, then I'm worried it will all get out and I would be so humiliated. But on the other hand I like this guy and sort of would like to be with him, but I just can't bring myself to say yes.

From what I have seen I think he is quite an image conscious sort of guy, and when I said differences I think he sees sex as an everyday part of a relationship, whereas it means more to me because I have never been in a relationship before. I just don't know what to do, as I don't trust him enough yet to confide in him about my issues with my body, yet I know I've basically lost him, yet haven't really told him why we can't be together.

When I see him in work, although he said its over completely I still see him looking at me out the corner of his eyes and I look at him too. Maybe he's looking at me in digust, but he claimed he really liked me, and he would change to fit in around me, he liked me that much, but should a guy really have to change? Then he's not being himself?

I really need help, I can't work him out and I can't go on forever turning lads down because I hate my body, yet the power to turn the down is stronger than committing because I'm so disgusted with what I see, I couldn't imagine what anyone else would think!

[Athenamia]

~ You could start by doing something for yourself that would make you feel better about your body. Join the local gym, start playing a sport you enjoy, or even something not fitness related at all, take a ceramics class... Once you start feeling better about yourself, things with relationships will fall into place.
~ I realize you have issues with yourself image, everyone does. There has to be things you do like about yourself though, be it your eyes, your legs, hell maybe you really like your elbows. Start focusing on the positive aspects of your body and not so much of the negative ones.
~ Alas, if you feel the differences between you and this guy are so vast, then maybe he is a guy you would be better suited to be friends with. It is possible that the two of you could get to know each other in a platonic manner, you would feel more comfortable around him and be sure of what you are getting yourself into. Good Luck!