[eric1361]

I've been dating this girl for 3 yrs, she lives 30 minutes away. Up till now I went there every day or other day, she won't come to my house. Every excuse or reason there is. So I stop going there and our relationship is growing apart, I say help me out here and come to me, she says if I was a man I would shut up and come there. When I am there I do her dishes, laundry sometimes, when she's at work I take her lunch, dinner, I just am there for her. But am I wrong for asking for more? She says its my fault that we are not close, should I stand my ground?

[s_cianci]

Let me see ; you've been with her for 3 years, drive 30 miles to visit her 3-4 times a week, do her dishes and laundry, take her lunch and dinner at work and then she says that it's "your fault" that you aren't close? Clearly she's a taker, all the way and doesn't know how to give back. If anything, the only thing you're guilty of is smothering her and being too nice to her and thereby coming off as needy and insecure and lacking a life of your own. Now I'm not saying that these things are definitely true but that may be her perception and it's easy to see how she may come to that conclusion, rightly or wrongly. At this point I'd back off and make her reach out to you more. Find other things to do on those nights when you'd be driving 30 miles each way to spend time with her and do her laundry and dishes. Make her make the trip to your house. When she gets there, just order out for pizza or something similar. Stop putting yourself out so much for this woman, regardless of how much you may care for her. Make her step up to the plate and do her share or else seek out greener pastures.

[eric1361]

Very true, she doesn't find me insucure or needy. She expects it, says all the other guys did it. But all the other guys beat her or cheated on her. I have backed off and she acts like o well. But its always my fault. She just thinks that a guy should give 100% and her 20.

[cynthia01]

Hi

[N0help4u]

Sounds like what I have been going through with the guy I have been seeing since the summer. He lives 30 seconds from me --walking. I feel like what is the use--if he cared he could at least call and say come on over. The only way he says come on over is if I call to ask him about something. I have been doing as s_cianci said and backing off.

Stand your ground. She is being self centered! There is a difference between being an old school gentleman vs catering to her self-centeredness.

[Lief_of_Del]

Lol why did you say hi