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Pokerwidow · Nov 10, 2007, 03:33 AM

Hi ,

I have been in a relationship for eight years. Together we have battled depression and I thought that we had it beat. My boyfriend quit his job last year to play poker full time I supported him at first since he had supported me many times in the past. He has been at it for almost a year now and has reached a real low. He has lost all his money and had to borrow from me to pay the rent this month ( I am a student and can barley afford my own rent). I love him no doubt but have fought way too many times over this issue. I feel bad leaving him this way but I have tried and tried to help him and to this day he refuses to admit that he has a problem. When he was working he used to race home from work to play and stay up all night to miss the next day at work and call in sick. I feel like I am doing him no favors by staying around but am hesitant to leave him since I have put in so much time and this is my first real relationship. I am 24 and he is 25. He is a smart man no doubt he has a college education and seems to be doing nothing with it. He plays all the time. When we plan to watch a movie or go out it seems to be cancelled because a tournee has run overtime. I am at the end of my rope but feel trapped. I am not sure where to go next. Can someone over come such an accessible addiction? What does it take to open someone’s eyes? Thanks for hearing me out.

N0help4u · Nov 10, 2007, 11:13 AM

As long as you *lend* him money he will never see he has a problem. Don't give him ANY money whatsoever! Until he starts suffering financially he will never see he has a problem.
It is the same as digging to the bottom of something if you never hit the bottom you never
Find the bottom. Once you hit bottom you know there is nowhere else to go.
You should not feel trapped by his bad decisions. If he really cared about you he would not put you in this position. Tell him that his gambling is going to end up being the end of your relationship if he doesn't make some changes.
Get on with your life and don't let his stop you or hold you back.
Go to the movie by yourself if you have to. If he sees you doing things ANYWAY it might make a difference.
If it doesn't then maybe you need to take that gamble and let him go.