[passmeby]

Hello. I have a problem with an annoying neighbor. I have lived here for 3 years and had never really spoken to her until a few months ago when we were both at the playground with our kids at the same time. Since then, she has "latched on" to me basically. What bothers me more is that she feels it's OK to keep asking me for favors. I've never asked her for a damn thing and I don't intend to.

I'm sick of her altogether, and my problem is that I don't know how to get rid of her without causing a scene or ending up feuding with her and her family.

I don't know how to give her the brush-off any more than I already have been. I don't hardly say anything when she comes over to "chat" (which almost always end with her asking for something), I don't let her in my house (I have never let her in), etc. She has asked to borrow money, cigarettes, diapers and sugar. She had paid back for the times she borrowed money and cigarettes except for the last time, she still owes me but seems to have conveniently forgotten. She still owes me a pack and a dollar. She has never offered to pay back for the diapers or the sugar, even though at the borrowing request she said she would. I was hoping since she owes me, she would not come back out of emvbarrasment, but no such luck.

So, I told myself, next time she comes over, I'm not giving her anything, but she caught me off guard with asking for the diapers. I felt sorry for the kid and I couldn't think of a plausible excuse quick enough to say "no".

What do I do? I don't want her coming over anymore at all, and I don't want to give her anymore favors. I don't like her, but apparently she likes me and thinks we're friends.

A big problem is that I go outside on my front porch to smoke, and she'll see me out there and come on over. Every time I see her coming, I'm like "oh no". I have a million other things to do besides listen to her blabber on. I've got nowhere else to go to smoke, so I'm stuck there.

Sorry, this post is half question/half me venting my frustration!!

Any advice wou7ld be cool!

[charlotte234s]

Just tell her when she asks for things that you don't have any to spare or you've run out yourself, or you can't afford to lend her anything right now, after a while hopefully she'll get the hint. That really sucks, I can imagine being angry and annoyed if were you.

[peggyhill]

Does she have any relatives in the area? Maybe she doesn't have many people around. If that's the case, maybe you could find a local charity organization that helps moms and kids. Then the next time she comes and tells you a sob story and asks for diapers or something, you can tell her "I really don't have the money right now. But, if it's an emergency, and you don't have the money, then I can give you the phone number to a place that can help". There are many charities that can help with diapers, food, etc. in an emergency. Those are the places this woman should be going to if she is that desperate and out of money-not to you. It's fine to ask for a favor now and then, but it sounds like this woman is making it a habit. Sadly, sometimes "mooches" see that someone is a very kind and generous person and they take advantage of that. If she really doesn't have the money for diapers or food, then she shouldn't even be buying the cigarettes. It's an unnecessary expense for her. You are certainly under NO obligation to support her cigarette habit. I don't know what to tell you about her bugging you on the porch. Maybe you could pretend to talk on a cell phone, or act like you are reading a magazine. If it were me, I would just come out and tell her the next time she asks. Tell her" I'm a generous person and I don't mind lending a hand once in a while. However, you seem to be asking me for a lot of things lately. Are you having a financial hardship or is something going on? If so, there are organizations that can help you with the necessities. I'd be happy to give you a couple diapers, but if you want more than that, contact those organizations. It's not that I don't want to help; it's that I have my own children and my own expenses. I am responsible for them, not for your children. Please don't ask me for more money or cigarettes. If money is that big of an ongoing problem, then see if you qualify for some assistance. " She might get mad, but at least she knows where you stand. I would never ask someone who I didn't know well to buy me cigarettes or give me money. Don't let her put you on a guilt trip. She is being emotionally manipulative.

[passmeby]

Yeah, I had thought the next time she asked for something, I'd just say I was broke and out of everything. The thing is, though, I've told her no before because I really didn't have what she was asking for, but that hasn't stopped her from trying again at a later date.

It also bugs me that she seems to think we're friends. I really can't stand her, she's like a ball of everything I hate in general... she's a leech, she's ignorant, etc...

Gosh, last time she was over, she kept saying how she wanted to have another kid, and I'm like "oh, god, no" in my head. I mean, you're over here basically begging for basic necessities like diapers and sugar and asking for money to buy milk and you want to have another kid?! This is why I can't stand her.

[passmeby]

Peggy hill...

She lives with her parents, her husband (an ex-con) and has many6 relatives other than them nearby. She knows every charity out there, she uses them all.

It's her poor choices that have landed her where she is, and she doesn't seem to get that.

I've actaully done the cell phone thing, she'll just sit there and listen and wait. I happened to be on the phone, a personal call with my Dr, and she sat there, watching me, not even trying to not listen in.

[N0help4u]

Where I live is full of mooches. Same problem, they waste their money on stupid stuff like the $60.00 blow up Santas for the yard then they cry they "ain't got a pot to piss in" and have no idea how they are going to feed their kids or keep their electricity on.

I started replying with stuff like

"I was about to ask you if you had -a dollar (or whatever it is she is asking for)- that I could borrow."

"You give me the ten dollars you still owe me and then I will have enough to lend you a dollar."

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Perhaps go take a walk to smoke... and if she asks to join, tell her you are seeking "alone time". And don't answer your door when she knocks. I understand your frustrations.