[Emm Lura]

Just wanted to update you on how my meds are working. Everything is going great! It's like a miracle drug! My life is going amazing! I do have some normal problems every now and then but that's just part of being human. My side effects are almost gone besides the drowsiness. My mood swings only poke their ugly little head out if I drink, which I have decided won't happen again. It really isn't worth feeling sick and having those terrible screaming matches and crying for no reason. I go back to my doc on the 7th and I'm sure she will be happy with my progress.

[KBC]

What a good post,(except the part about drinking... but you already know that)

Any time we find the meds that make us function, productive humans we should be happy:)

I really appreciate you writing back emm, letting a support group know where and how you are gives us all a reason to smile( I know I did) and feel like someone else is going to be OK for a while too!

Keep your chin up and lets try helping those who need help too.

Ken

[Emm Lura]

Well I've definitely been trying to help but I've noticed that some people pass judgement on me because of my age. (Try reading "all the racism in the world" posted by a user called jasonanderson and you'll see what I mean.)

I do go to the psychiatrist tomorrow morning and I have to tell her about my panic attacks. We thought that the lamictal with help with that as well since they primarily came when I had my swings but that isn't the case. I still get them and my anxiety sometimes gets the best of me. :( But things can only get better and I'm a true believer that with the right "help" ;) everything will be just fine.

But enough about me, how are YOU? It's your turn to vent. Let it all out. Anyone else that is reading is more than welcome to respond as well.

Come on don't be shy! :D

[Angel_Wings]

Some people have good results on Lamictal and some do not.

Try this website:

Depression and Bipolar Support alliance

DBSAlliance.org Forums (Powered by Invision Power Board)

[KBC]

Well I've definitely been trying to help but I've noticed that some people pass judgement on me because of my age. (Try reading "all the racism in the world" posted by a user called jasonanderson and you'll see what I mean.)

I do go to the psychiatrist tomorrow morning and I have to tell her about my panic attacks. We thought that the lamictal with help with that as well since they primarily came when I had my swings but that isn't the case. I still get them and my anxiety sometimes gets the best of me. :( But things can only get better and I'm a true believer that with the right "help" ;) everything will be just fine.

But enough about me, how are YOU? It's your turn to vent. Let it all out. Anyone else that is reading is more than welcome to respond as well.

Come on don't be shy! :D

Vent? ME? I do that in the Medications section(Staying on your prescribed medications,for good or ill.)

It's a good a place as any,since most of my issues are medicine related(as yours are to an extent also) But to each their own;)

Panic attacks huh?Is it anxiety meds time for you as well as Lamictal? Perhaps it is, Are you ready for more meds? It might be necessary, keep an open mind to it.

And poor jasonanderson, he seems so frustrated, you and I both know it isn't a race issue, it's a class issue(not money class,HUMAN class)more in that post tonight.

Hope the Pdoc is kind and gives you a good visit, keep me(US)posted on the events and maybe new meds.

Ken

[Emm Lura]

You were right, they did prescribe me some medication for my anxiety. It's called Hydroxyzine.. I guess it's an antihistamine. I don't like the combination yet but I'll keep it up. I took it today when I got to work and my anxiety is gone but I'm so so sleepy. Won't be making many sales tonight. Lol. Oh well it is treating what I need it for so I can't complain. I will read your post and I bet it will be just as great as your answers!

[KBC]

How are the meds treating you today emm?

Mine had me toxic yesterday(too many for my system to handle) and I am still puffed up like a blowfish... lol

Hospital was NO help,(typical) so I am back to self medicating(Benedril and sleep,and oh yeah AMHD.com... lol)

Are you anxious still?I hope that passes soon for you.

Ken

[Emm Lura]

Aw I'm sorry. Yes my anxiety passed but now I'm not feeling too well. I'm not in the mood to be at work at all. I'm going to go home and get my medicine and then I'll be back to tell you how I feel. BRB

[Emm Lura]

OK after a big argument with my boyfriend, I'm still feeling yucky. I'm hoping it passes but I kind of feel like my relationship is falling apart. I don't know. He's just so damn distant lately. Yeah he's stressed about work and bills but I'm taking care of all of them of myself and half of the rent. I don't know why he's taking it all out on me. I just spent over $300 on him for Christmas. He didn't even get me anything on my birthday. I don't know. I do know he isn't cheating on me. I know that for a fact. I'd know about it for sure. I just don't get men I guess. :(

[KBC]

Men are from mars...

'getting' men isn't the same as getting along with them.

Hope your feeling better soon.

I see a real medical Dr. for this toxicity tomorrow(I can't even close my hand into a fist anymore),these are the same side effects I had with Lamictal last winter,hmmmm

TTYL,Ken

[atwittsendwiththis]

Has anyone tried lamictal and had any bad side effects? I've been doing a little online research on it and most of the sites say the same thing. The only thing I haven't seen was short term memory loss or not being able to concentrate. Is this normal? I'm feeling a little weird and groggy out of it. I know it probably takes a little while to fully kick in, but I was just wondering if this was normal.

Yes it is normal to feel a little funny when u start a new med. I did with both of my new Bipolar med's it takes a few weeks to get everything back in order, but it will happen, don't stop taking the meds and if after a few weeks it doesn't get any better go back to your DR and tell them about it, it maybe too much or not enough.

[Emm Lura]

Yes it is normal to feel a lil funny when u start a new med. I did with both of my new Bipolar med's it takes a few weeks to get everything back in order, but it will happen, dont stop taking the meds and if after a few weeks it doesnt get any better go back to your DR and tell them about it, it maybe too much or not enough.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I've been taking the Lamictal for about 5 weeks now and it is working wonders for the most part. I'm on 100 mg and it has definitely helped. The side effects are minimal now except for the occasional headache and a little sleepiness (but that's nothing that ibuprofen and an energy drink can't take care of ;) lol)

The only thing that worries me now is the vistaril. Is that cold medicine? If I'm correct it is an antihistamine which is in cold medicine. How is this going to help my anxiety and my panic attacks? Also it is only 25 mg... I don't know. I'll try it for a bit and see how it works for me. I want to have an open mind about this kind of stuff. After all, my doc knows more about this stuff than I do. :D

[N0help4u]

The doctors that prescribe these pills have even told me not all work on everybody and they basically have to experiment on you until they find the right one for you. If you continue to have a hard time adjusting within the month or so that it takes you might want to check back and ask them to adjust or change what pill you are taking. You don't want to wreck or something because that one is causing problems. Also you have to make sure you don't skip any because that can cause problems too. When I was on Paxil I couldn't sleep and was hallucinating. I ended up going to the ER to get off them. They asked me if I had skipped pills. I told them I didn't know cause it had me in such a groggy state I couldn't remember the past two weeks clearly at all. They said missing pills will cause problems too.

[Emm Lura]

Well working a sales job may not be the best career for me. I just had a customer screaming at me because I couldn't refund his deposit that he just gave me for his phone. I understand his frustration because I would be upset too. I got so upset that I gave him $100 out of my wallet that was supposed to be to hold me over until my next paycheck on the 20th. I took some of my vistaril to keep me from having a panic attack but it didn't help. I hope it kicks in soon. I've got my area manager breathing down my neck about making sales which is understandable. He's got a job to do too. It's just so much stress and so much weight on my shoulders that I think I need to find a new job. It sucks because I love my job and I just got promoted to manager. This is breaking my heart. I don't know what to do. I want to just crawl in a hole and die. That's probably just my bipolar disorder poking it's little head out but it still feels like it would be a good idea. I know I know, life is full of stress and that will never change but it's so hard and I feel like my life has been so empty and everything happens to me.

My mom the alcoholic and the crackhead that used to beat the you know what out of me and my brothers and not to mention get beat by her boyfriends. Does anyone know how hard it is to be a little kid and have to be worried about your mom waking you up in the middle of the night to either beat you or to leave her boyfriend's house because of some random argument they have in the middle of the night which usually ends with a fist fight and sometimes with my mother in the hospital. Or does anyone know how it feels to see your mother overdose on pills because "she just gives up?"

Or how about your father living in Ohio all your life while you are being raised by your mother because he was too big of a drunk to man up and take care of his baby girl knowing what I was going through with my mom.

Or even the fact that when you finally got big enough to fight back with your mother or at least try to, none of your family would even try and take you in. Even with the bribary of the state offering them money.

So as you can see my life has been messed up since the day I was born and I just can't ever get a break. I'm a good person and I treat people with all the love and respect that I always wanted. Why can I never get this back? I don't understand...

[N0help4u]

Through all that you need to realize you are more ahead of things than you maybe realize. '
Most people I know that have been through stuff like that are drug addicts themselves and will not work, can't keep a job if they do get one, beat their own kids and have serious mental health issues dealing with life.
I count my blessing everyday that after all that my kids dad put them through they are doing as good as they are.
So D0 give yourself a favor and give yourself a lot of credit for how far you have come and your accomplishments.

[Emm Lura]

Thank you so much Nohelp. I needed to vent and get some things off my chest. I am so grateful that I haven't turned out like my mother or father. I'm well on my way to a wonderful drug-free life. (Well illegal drug free life. I'm on medication but that doesn't count)

My poor little brother has let our childhood break him down. He is only 16 and he's in jail. He has been in and out of it since he was 11. It breaks my heart. I wish he would come live with me and get away from everything down there but in the back of my mind I know that he would just do it up here too.

I don't know I just needed to vent a little. Thank you for reading this.

With love,
Emm

[KBC]

Thank you so much Nohelp. I needed to vent and get some things off my chest. I am so grateful that I haven't turned out like my mother or father. I'm well on my way to a wonderful drug-free life. (Well illegal drug free life. I'm on medication but that doesn't count)

My poor little brother has let our childhood break him down. He is only 16 and he's in jail. He has been in and out of it since he was 11. It breaks my heart. I wish he would come live with me and get away from everything down there but in the back of my mind I know that he would just do it up here too.

I don't know I just needed to vent a little. Thank you for reading this.

With love,
Emm

Vent and keep on living, your in the survivor zone,you made the difference for yourself and now your posts are helping others(like me):)

Being put on meds, I thought I was going to be the 'cured' person the therapist's referred to.I didn't realize I had a lot of learned responses,or coping skills, which needed adjusting as well,took me years to understand what and where I needed to change(still have areas I want changed) one being how I deal with stress from others(I greatly identified with your earlier post concerning the work issue) I think you came through it just fine,did you learn anything?:confused: like how to deal with it in the future?maybe without the meds at the end of the confrontation.

I am not knocking that,I am in your corner,routing you on.

Coping skills are learned through tough times and patience/willingness and hindsight.

I know you can deal with this, just a few words of insight from me.

Your friend,

Ken

[Emm Lura]

Vent and keep on living, your in the survivor zone,you made the difference for yourself and now your posts are helping others(like me):)

Being put on meds, I thought I was going to be the 'cured' person the therapist's referred to.I didn't realize I had a lot of learned responses,or coping skills, which needed adjusting as well,took me years to understand what and where I needed to change(still have areas I want changed) one being how I deal with stress from others(I greatly identified with your earlier post concerning the work issue) I think you came through it just fine,did you learn anything?:confused: like how to deal with it in the future?maybe without the meds at the end of the confrontation.

I am not knocking that,I am in your corner,routing you on.

Coping skills are learned through tough times and patience/willingness and hindsight.

I know you can deal with this, just a few words of insight from me.

Your friend,

Ken

Hmm, I thought I responded to this already. Weird. Lol.

Anyway, your support means a lot to me.
It feels like as soon as everything gets better, it all gets worse...

I just found out that my younger brother that was in jail has now escaped. I don't know where he is but my mother said that his girlfriend is pregnant. Keep in mind that he is only 16 years old. I don't think that there is anything I can do to keep from being depressed about this. I'll either never know where he is or they will find him and he will probably be in jail for another few years. And what if his girlfriend is pregnant? He'll won't be in his kids life because he'll be locked up, just like his dad.

His dad was in prison since my mom got pregnant. Then 14 years later he got out and Jake started living with him. He died about a year and a half after my brother moved in with him and was constantly put down until the old bastard died. He never thought much of Jake. No one did really. Except my mom and myself. I always believed in him. He's got a big heart.

Stress stress stress... I'm beginning to think that the title to this post should change. I don't know if I can do that or not but it isn't really about my medication anymore. More like "the venting of a young semi self dependant lady that has so many issues it's annoying" yeah that would be me. I feel like I'm losing it. Like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and everyone is going to see it on my very own little online diary. Sorry I'm kind of synical this morning. Not really the start of a great day for me. :(

Where's that hole that I was talking about a couple of days ago. It sounds very comfortable right about now. Snuggle up down there with a little blanket and my Dean Koontz book that I've been reading and a tiny little light. Yeah that sounds good.

I'm sorry. I just feel like my life is out of control. Every aspect of it. And on top of that my heart feels like it is breaking. I went from fiancé without the ring to the girlfriend that he no longer wants to propose to. Cold feet maybe? I don't know. He claims to be stressed out about work but why would that have anything to do with us getting married? I don't know.

Well I need to get to work. Wish me luck selling these phones today! ;)

As always,
Emm

[KBC]

HI Emm,

I am enjoying this thread you have started,what's the harm in online venting,I do it too!

Your brother is going to do what he needs to do to keep himself occupied,LET HIM,you got enough on your plate to keep you full right now,If nothing else,pray for him and let it go.

You said,"It feels like as soon as everything gets better, it all gets worse...",Is this gods way of telling you you can do more now that the burden of major depression is lifted?Is this a personal test?I see a possibility of great growth here!! THIS means, give yourself a break, Emm,your dealing with a lot these days,life is going on around you,please don't get lost in that hole with Dean Koontz,Isolation for me always leads to more deeper depression,I would hate to lose contact with you now that you are beyond the initial effects of the meds,Now is when the shining star comes out, not gets extinguished.

I hope this helps some,I know it helps me to write.

Ken

[Emm Lura]

You know I always get your responses when I truly need them. Me and Ry have been having a lot of problems lately. Problems all around really. Work. Home. Social. Everything. I think I am moving to Florida Ken. I have come to hate my life up here. Ryan is just too inconsiderate and the only other person I have up here is my dad. I can't live with my dad because my stepmom won't allow it. So that's really my only option right now. I've got a guy that really cares about me that I dated almost two years ago and he's always treated me right. We dated for about two and a half years but when I turned 18 things got crazy for me. I started working at hooters and I was loving all the attention. I drew away from my friends and my family and especially him. I did a lot of things that I wasn't proud of. Then I thought that I should do something that I WILL be proud of and that was when I joined the army. Unfortunately after 4 months of physical therapy for my injury that I attained my last week of basic I was discharged. Then when I got out I did more things that I regret so I decided that Pensacola was to blame, not me.

Well after over a year up here I have decided that it is just my mindset. I am stronger now than I was and I have a lot of willpower. And goals for once! I'm going to try to go to college for psychology (the human mind amazes me and it would be great for me to give back some of the help that I have gotten.) While I am in college I would like to work with more photographers and try the modeling gig one more time. It's good therapy for me. I don't care what anyone says, looking good makes you feel great. :D

I'm going to try and sell some things and hopefully I will feel a little better. I'll try at least.