[bubbles_88]

I need serious help please!

I met this guy in work about 2 months ago, we started chatting and on a night out we exhanged mobile numbers, we started texting and about 2 weeks later he asked me on a date... I ended up at his house (which I thought was a little bizarre for a first date) but non the less I had a great night. After that night, I met him again at his house 2 days later and again had a good night. That night though we were texting and he started asking personal questions (if I was a virgin etc) I told him I was, and he told me he respected that but has a high sex drive, this freaked me out, and I automatically thought I needed to get away from this guy, but no matter how much I tried I still liked him back. On another night out we got into each other and he kept asking me back to his, I had ot refuse (As I have strict parents who would not allow me to sleep at a lads house) after this I told him that we had tried dating and it just wasn't going to work, because obviously I thought he was after sex. He told me he respected my opinions but took the rejection badly and said he didn't want anything to do with me. Work was awkward for a while, he would throw silly things at me (verbally) and after a week or two we were out again of an evening anfd ended up getting into him again. This obviously gave him the wrong impression and he tried again, but yet again I rejected him. He didn't say too much this time, just that he was gutted. Then two weeks of no contact and randomly I had a text after him telling me he missed me. I missed him too, as deep down I do still like him, I foolishly told him and again he tried it on texting me all week going back to the original way telling me how much he likes me, how he misses me, how beautiful I am etc etc. then over the weekend we were both out, and he had had a little too much to drink as I had and totally ended it, sayign I wasn't bothered and was just messing him about, and that he couldn't wait forever and that its totally over!

I'm so confused, I really like him, as he apparently really likes me (but we hardly know each other all that well, which is why I wonder if its just sweet talk?) I don't want to get with him and then find it is all about sex. You see my problem is that commitment is a hard thing, I am that self concsious about my looks, figure, scars etc I want to fully trust someone and know them well before I open up, as the humiliation it would cause me if went out with someone then they told all their mates about me and our love life I would hate it, which is why I find commitment so hard and physically cannot bring myself to it!

this guy very rarely texts and says how are you? Etc yet he says he really cares about my feelings. What I want help with is what does this situation sound like to you? I like him, and can't bare to be without him, yet I just can't commit to him (yet I can't with any lad) but I find it strange that he has never really asked my why I can't commit or why I think it won't work, I think he just jumps to conclusions that its all about sex!

this guy is also good looking, and he obviously knows it, he told me he can't wait forever and turn other girls down. I know that some people who love themselves think they are better than they are and I don't want to be with someone like that, it worries me that he may be all about image?

please help me, I know this is long, but I need help, I have nothing else on my mind, and all I think about is him, evrything I do is associated with him! HELP thanks guys!

[Homegirl 50]

Girl, this guy smells virgin tail and low self esteem. He does not care about you, nor does he respect you. Do not text him anymore, stop playing the back and forth with him, you may end up losing your virginity by force or coercion.
Stay away from him. The right guy is out there, it's just not him.

[bubbles_88]

He says he would respect me and that he would do anything to be with me, and that he really really cares about me and likes me, but is that just sweet talk?
What I REALLY don't get is, why would any lad want a girl that lacks self esteem and has no experience sexually, surely they wouldn't get as much pleasure from that?
I think I know deep down your right, but at the back of my mind its like well what if he is nice and does really like me, am I throwing away something which I would regret?
I think he may just totally be under the influence of his friends, and in which case its probably an area best avoiding, but that's easier said than done, when you have sort of got close to a guy, its hard to just forget them, and I don't want to sound like some sort of evil person, but id feel jealous if I saw another girl with him, is this normal?

[Homegirl 50]

The way he acted towards you when you told him no the first time gives you a clue as to what he is like. I say leave him alone, but if you reall like him, set some boudaries. Don't go to his place, do go any place with him where you two would be alone. Tell him from the start there will be no sex. You have not even known this guy that long.
How old are the both of you?

[bubbles_88]

He is 21 I am 19. I think your probably right, but I just can't get him out my head. He asked me out again and I refused again. This time he said its for real and that we were totally finished, I saw him out last night and he practically ignored me, yet when I see him in work he just stares at me. Now he's gone I really want him, but when he's there I'm not sure. I think I just need to move on, because he only makes me upset and hurt!
Thanks for the advice, its really appreciated by the way!

[Homegirl 50]

Yeah, I think it best that you leave him alone. A guy that can upset and hurt you and you're not even dating is one that can really run you into the ground. He'd take your virginity and leave you high and dry.