[jwf]

I have a 13 year old boy. We had no problems with him until 1st grade. He was always curious and full of energy. He loved to play and work out doors. Starting in 1st grade he starting hating school. He would try to get sick every morning so he could stay home. In 2nd - 4th grade things were better about school, but he still begged to stay home. At the end of 3rd grade he started having complex partial seizures, although he was not diagnosed until the end of 4th grade. We pulled him out of public school and started home schooling for the 5th grade. This year was horrible. The mildly disrespect started getting worst. In the 6th grade we starting counseling, because of his attitude toward his dad and me. During this year the doctors put him on antidepressants. Thinks got worst. He then told me he wanted to hurt his family. The doctors changed his medicine. He was on this until June of this year. Things were better but not good. He is now in the 8th grade. The disrespect his getting bad again. He is now telling us to hush, leave him along, everything is our fault (doesn't matter on what subject, when he messes up, it is our fault). He raises his fist to his sister (never has hit her, and yes sometimes she starts it). We have tried taking every thing from him and have started an allowance. When his behavior is bad, he looses points, which is money and time on the computer. The only thing he cares about is playing 2 different games on the computer (star wars and need for speed). He has also said he likes seeing people go through the windshield and bleeding. When I asked him about this he denies it. Lastly, he is respectful to every one else. His family members outside of our house and people at church thinks he is great. When he is not at home are with us, he is always smiling and seems happy. With us he is very negative and rude.

Please help, I do not want my son on any more medicine.

[peggyhill]

I would take him to several different doctors, and perhaps a child psychiatrist could be of help. Maybe you could try a different counselor- he might not have connected with or liked the first. You could also seek help from your church. Many churches have support groups for parents and teens who are struggling. There are most likely other families at the church who have dealt with similar situations- perhaps they could give good advice to you. I wouldn't necessarily rule medicine out, perhaps you have not found the right kind or the right combo. Some people have chemical imbalances which make them act in ways they normally wouldn't. It can be corrected with medication. You need a strong support team. I take him to see a specialist in childhood behavior disorders, like a child psychiatrist. Perhaps you could arrange for a brief in-patient stay. My friend had to do this with her son. He stayed in a juvenile hospital for a week. It was for behavioral problems. She could come see him every day and he was allowed to call her on the phone. A team of doctors, counselors, and social workers observed him to see how his moods changed, when and why they did, etc. It helped them get a better idea of what was going on because they were seeing him for longer than an hour or two. He found a counselor there that he really connected with, and a combination of medication that made him feel much better with fewer side effects. If you have to do that, don't feel bad about it. Your son will understand that you want to help him, even if he isn't happy about it. I would strongly advise you to continue seeking help. He seems to have some problems that need to be addressed right now. You don't want him growing up into his 20s and still having these problems. He could end up in jail, etc. Just because it hasn't worked in the past, don't give up. You are obviously a very caring mother. I'm sure someday your son will thank you for sticking by him and helping him through this time. You also might benefit from talking to your pastor about the stress of dealing with all this. It always helps to talk to friends. I hope this helps! And remember, your son loves you very much, he is just dealing with a mental problem right now. It doesn't mean he can't have a successful fulfilled life. God bless!

[sawyera bisiga]

Its simple enough I had this same problem but it wasn't addressed and I turned to drugs but my parents luckley caught me and I got my life back on track that was 7 months ago. All you have to do is not take his sh*t he's only doing this because he thinks he can get away with it. First of all take away violente games stop giving allowance if he is mean or disrespectfull ground him or scold him don't just say "dont do that" it never works it goes in one ear and out the other. If he has long hair threaten to shave it off if he is disrespectfull. Just put your foot down and let him squirm he'll get the picture. This is what my parents did and when they did this I was probably 3 times worse the your son but just get him where it really hurts. It will all then unwravel itself.

Good luck! :)