[sputla]

I took care of everbody in my husbands family for past 10 years. Its either his way or no way. He complains about me sharing my family matters with my parants. My in-laws have lot of influence on him. After 10 years, now he's having problem with. Always says that I don't have respect for him, don't care of my son , talk to my friends about him, etc... Now he's disrespectfull to my parants.

If I compalin, all he says is if you have problem then LEAVE. What should I do. I have 3 year old. I don't want my son to suffer the consequences of not having a happy family.

[peggyhill]

Have you tried marriage counseling? I would give it a shot before you call it quits, especially if you have a son together. It sounds like you are a very giving person, unlike your hubby and his family. It also sounds like he is pretty rude to you and your family. He seems to have trouble communicating. Is there anything going on in your lives that would be really stressing him out, like a health issue or something? Maybe he is stressed and taking his anger from something else out on you. You should sit down with him and tell him you love and care for him and your son very much. And because you care very much, tell him you want the two of you to have the very best relationship you can. Tell him that is why you want to try marriage counseling. If he refuses to go, you will have to decide if this is something you can live with or not. Personally, if it were me, I would say marriage counseling or else to him. Don't put up with it. He may not realize it, but what he is doing is emotional abuse. Also, when you talk about your relationship, try to avoid saying stuff like" You never listen" or "It's always about you". Instead try telling him "When you do such an such, it makes me feel such and such a way. That way, you won't sound like you are accusing him, so he is less likely to get mad. That's something they told me and my fiancée. We are getting married next year and doing premarital counseling. Hope this helps! Also, if money is an issue and he says you can't afford the counseling, try a local church, synagogue, etc. Many religious organizations will give you free counseling. You don't have to be a member of the church. Lots of people go to religious leaders with their problems, so they often have really good advice.

[Kingofkings]

What is worse; having your son grow up in a home where he sees mommy get treated like crap and forced to live a horrible life, probably forced to bend to dads will as he gets older also, or have divorced parents where dad does as he sees fit and you live a happy life as you see fit? Divorce is hard, but it sounds like your husband is very set in his ways and too controlling. Something your son can pick up, and if you can't live with it why would you want any other woman to?

[sputla]

Thank you everybody for suggestions. Right now I'am not in proper state of mind. I'am hurt and troubled . I will keep praying and see how it turns. He wouldn't try counseling. He says, I'am fault at everything and He is not. So there is no need for him to listen from anybody.

[Marriedguy]

If you husband tells you to leave then leave. I guessing he is telling you this because you been putting up with the BS for over 10 years and you are not going any where. Don't ever stay in a marriage because of children. That is the worse thing that you can do... raise children an environment where both parents don't love and respect each other. Your son will think that is OK to treat women like your husband treats you. If you don't want to leave for your sake do it for him.