[sarahbanana]

I'm in love with a 16-year-old. He's not some wackjob like everyone thinks he is, he goes to my church and would never try to sexually harass me or anything like that. I've known him since I was 4, and he's totally sweet. My parents like him, but they think its weird that he likes me in that way. My friends are cool with it, and so is his family, but everyone else is freaking out. Any thoughts?

[Leidenschaftlich für Wahr]

I think that if it is really as good as it seems then he is worth waiting for, and so are you.
It really surprises me though that you are only 11, considering your grammar and spelling is better than most 18 year olds.
Anyway, there are just so many things that change throughout your life, its dangerous to put so much unto a relationship right now.
Do you even know where you firmly stand in areas such as religion, politics, finances, future child bearing and raising, etc.
Those things are very real and have a huge impact on the relationship you will have with a person.
And I know some people say that dating while you are young is just for fun, but I don't believe that.
I believe it is meant to be used for looking for the one you will marry, and any other use of it is willingly participating in something that will hurt you, another, or both.

[kitten94515]

1. Yupp us kids today have good grammar.
2. its pretty cool, and if your family's all right with it then it's all right.
3. you might want to wait a while to date him, or anything.
Since your only 11. (:
But yeah, go you! Lolll.

[MOWERMAN2468]

I think there may be the need for a TROLL ALERT here. Look at her other postings.

[cal823]

Okay.. a few things you need to consider
1# is it love? I know it's a hard thing to ask you to ask yourself, but I thought I was in love once, but no I realise it was just a stronger feeling than I was used to.
2#your 11, he's 16, you will need to wait many years before you can date him.
3# but lighten up! If it is love (which will take you time to fully understand your feelings for him and whether it is love) then you are very lucky.
Good luck! Hope it goes well.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

It sounds like a good relationship, that he's a nice guy, but I think you should wait a bit. You're 11 years old! Go out an play have fun... believe it or not guys take up a lot of your time. I've been told by my friends that I spend too much time with my boyfriends. Like I said you're 11 years old you should go out and have fun not have a time consuming boyfriend :P. Just wait a bit... maybe a year or two... wait that wouldn't work >.< he'd be 18 then wouldn't he? Yikes! Okay just wait a bit if you get what I'm saying... plus it would really be worth a try if he waited for you to get older cause I'm sure he likes you.

[glavine]

I really don't think a 11yr old just be testing these waters just yet. As for the 16 not trying anything... rrrrrrrrrrright, people he's a guy, not a saint.
Give him an inch he'll take a mile.

Sarrahbanna, just give it some time, the way you feel for him is the same way you'll feel many many times for other guys, its just the way it is.

[ScottGem]

but everyone else is freaking out. Any thoughts?

I can completely understand everyone freaking out. First, you are too young to be thinking in terms of dating. Second, the age difference is too great (AT THIS TIME). In 2 years he will have graduated high school and maybe be going on to college. You will just becoming a teenager. You both will be in different worlds and your interest will be widely divergent.

Be his friend and when you turn 18 and he is still interested in you, then you can explore a relationship.

[kitten94515]

1. yupp us kids today have good grammer.
2. its pretty cool, and if your family's alright with it then it's alright.
3. you might want to wait a while to date him, or anything.
since your only 11. (:
but yeah, go you! lolll.

MOWERMAN! Dude, it's her life. And if her family knows him, it'll be fine. Give him a chance.

[ScottGem]

MOWERMAN! dude, it's her life. and if her family knows him, it'll be fine. give him a chance.

Dudette, Its NOT her life yet. At 11 she is still the responsibility of her parents and under their protection. At 11 she is neither experienced enough nor emotionally mature enough to make this type of judgement. And what if she does give him a chance and he takes advantage of her and she becomes pregnant? How much of a chance will she have at life then? And how much of a chance will he have if he is convicted of stautory rape?

Yes, its remotely possible that this boy is a gentleman who would never think of taking advantage of a girl. And its possible I will hit the lottery this week.

P.S. You don't need to quote your own post to reply. Just use the Quick Reply.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

Okay scott I'm sorry but as much as I agree with you on that she is too young, saying it's not her choice is a completely different matter. No matter what it's her life and she makes her own decisions. We can tell her all we want that she shouldn't, hell her parents could too, but that doesn't mean she won't date him, ultimately it is her life and it is her choice.

[ScottGem]

Okay scott I'm sorry but as much as I agree with you on that she is too young, saying it's not her choice is a completely different matter. No matter what it's her life and she makes her own decisions. We can tell her all we want that she shouldn't, hell her parents could too, but that doesn't mean she won't date him, ultimately it is her life and it is her choice.

Sorry, but you are wrong, very wrong. Her parents still have control over her as long as she is a minor. She can defy them, but they have a moral and legal responsibility here. So, her parents can and should make these decisions for her.

Sure she can defy them and sneak around behnd their back. But that would only make it harder on the boy.

[Marriedguy]

sarahbanana I wish I could spare you the hurt but I have to be honest with you. I would NOT even consider you dating this 16 year old gentlemen or not. If he was your age my advice would be the same. You have to wait until you are at least 16-17 years old. At that time he will be 22 years old. If you two feel the same way for each other if some reason you do.. then you should date at that time.

[josh411]

You DON'T love him. Your 11. You do not love him, but its prob your first real big crush, BUT its still very wrong, you could put him in jail if something happen. Even if he's under 18 if you two have sex, or even close to it, because your still so very young even with your permission it is a type of rape, because your so young by law you really don't have right to make those kind of choices yet.

DON'T ACT ON ANYTHING

[karent23]

When I was 11 I got crushes on lots of guys... especially anyone that paid attention to me. It didn't mean anything. Also my parents set a strict rule that I was not allowed to date until I was 16.

You have your whole life to date and be grown up, but you don't have much more time to enjoy your innocence. Don't rush it.

[ScottGem]

okay i hav the same prob i'm 12 and like a 16 year old

And you are going to get the same advice.

[cody93]

Don't worry about it if u really love him go for it my dad is 39 and my step mom is 29 so go for it

[ScottGem]

dont worry about it if u really love him go for it my dad is 39 and my step mom is 29 so go for it

Yeah but how old was your dad when he met your stepmom? That has significant bearing. I gather you are young yourself, so please don't give out bad advice from that perspective. Read what others have said. An 11 year old doesn't have enough experience to know whether they "really love" someone. An 11 year old is too young to be dating someone one on one. A 16 year old is likely to have only one thing on their mind when it comes to an 11 year old and that's exploitation.