[tarapaige]

I work for a small company. At my location it's only myself and one other lady. This other lady has many issues. She is emotionally abused by her husband and depressed. It is very frustrating for me as a manager because she is so critical of herself that I cannot correct her when she makes a mistake. She also tends to take things the wrong way because she is so hard on herself. I have come to find out that she is now talking behind my back and saying that I'm rude. She's also complained that I've said or done things that she seems to be making up because they're not true at all. Such as I tell her she doesn't work hard enough, which I have never said or even implied. All I've ever done is try to help her. When she gets too stressed I offer to change her schedule to work less hours or take a week off. I have done nothing but be nice to her. It is very frustrating to feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her and cannot correct her when she does something wrong. I just want to tell her that if she can't handle criticism then she needs to find another job because that's what working is all about - constructive criticism to make your performance better. Geesh... I would never say anything rude to her like that but I don't know how to handle this anymore. It's just getting to me. Any suggestions would be appreciated, thanks!

[Emland]

Sounds like she is playing you, tara.

I would tell her straight out, just like you explained it here. You aren't responsible for her happiness at home. She IS responsible for her behavior at work. Talking behind your back can be construed as insubordination and you could terminate her without her being eligible for unemployment benefits.

Sit your little sad-sack down and explain the facts. Her life could get a lot worse if she doesn't have a job.

[70ssue]

I 'll be honest, your co-worker, sounds a lot like me. I can' t take criticism, because like her I was abused, sexually abused. I think she should go and see a dr and she sounds depressed. Myself estem is very low and the moment. Sorry for not been much help, but I know how you co-worker feels.

[Caralyn]

tarapaige,

I agree with the others. You seem like a kind hearted soul but I know from experience that there are some people who do not understand kindness when all they have had is abuse. Instead of being suspicious of the abusers, they are more likely to be suspicious of the person who is being kind - they are not used to it. I have every sympathy for people who are being abused, but my sympathy dwindles if they refuse to do anything about their situation.