[log]

Well me and my girlfriend were dating about two years everything was going along good no fights or arguments what so ever it was like romeo and juliet in the real world I guess one day she came up to me crying saying that she needed a break and to experience things being single .o I forgot to mention that I was her first true love so she says any ways she went on saying that she loves me as a friend and in not love with me right now so I let her have what she wanted but we still talked over the phone and see each other here and there as if nothing happened I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really miss being boyfriend and girlfriend ,at the moment both of us are really confused and I just don't know what to think anymore its as if she's forcing herself to move on for no reason.so that being said,ijust want to know what I should from here... any advice

[talaniman]

Stop being confused, and give each other some space. And leave her alone. Neither of you knows how to go about your own business, and deal constuctively with your feelings. Just because you say the love word, doesn't mean you know how to be in love, and the contact will only prolong the agony of learning, and healing. When the emotional intensity settles, you have a better chance of making better, more realistic decisions, concerning your futures.

[statictable]

Yikes! I'm confused too. Maybe she's at the age where stuff like this is normal. Or maybe she stopped taking her meds. One thing's for sure you'll handle it and not turn into a zombie. Be strong and be there if she needs help but also try to imagine a girl who knows what she wants and has some stability. Good luck on you.

[log]

Yikes is right really weird but what should I do

[lmnotok]

Hey I've been there a few months ago. And to me at the time, I didn't have any rational explanation, just felt like have to be like that. So I think just leave her alone, sometimes check on her if she needs help or something. But don't show that you really need her or else you will lengthen the time she might be back. Be strong buddy!

[talaniman]

its as if she's forcing herself to move on for no reason.so that being said,ijust want to know what I should from here... any advice

Find something else to do besides talking to her. Let her move on if that's what she wants.

[log]

You I know that's what I have been doing giving her time and checking up on her from time to time I just want to know if its time to move on or what cause its really frustrating to know she still has feelings

[kuulski]

ya i know thats wat i have been doin giving her time and checking up on her from time to time i just wanna know if its time to move on or wat cause its really frustrating to know she still has feelings

Well I guess you are asking for closure which from what I have seen and experienced is not likely to be given to you. You have to create your own closure by assuming its over. I know its hard believe me I am 2 months into my NC we spoke once in August and that has been it. Good Luck and Stay Strong!

[smoothy]

If she wants space... give her all the space in the world. Not just a little. Find a new girlfriend and stop talking to this one. She can be strange and unstable on her own. You are responsible for your own happiness so get up and go looking for it. There are plenty of women that aren't unstable cases that don't know what they want.

You can't make someone want to be with you so when they want out... tell them don't let the door hit you on the azz on your way out. If you aren't married or have kids that is. Those two situations are the only ones that will change that advice.

[log]

You I guess that's what it is... the thought of moving on has crossed my mind but she made it seem in a way that I broke up with her and every time we do meet up feels like she's the one with all these sad emotions you could see it in her eyes its like she can't come forward with what she has to say and that is really bothering me its like your either with me or not just say it and then you can have all the fun in the world... know what I mean .any ideas or advice would be great

[smoothy]

Just come out and tell her you failed the class on mind reading. Get her to spit it out, but be prepared to pick yourself up and move on. But don't let her keep you in an unhealthy or unhappy relationship.

Everyone will have bad days... but if this becomes her normal routine then its time to leave.

[log]

So I did get my answer and she said to just move on which is good cause that's my closure right there... but now I just want to know one thing her mom is my hair dresser and some of her friendss are mine do I just shut them out

[talaniman]

Only if you have a problem moving on.