[The Lake House]

Why a man likes a nurse who had kids when she was 16, divored twice in her life with an average looking (34 yrs old)
Instead of
A Top MBA graduate, pure(a virgin), beautiful, humble,intelligent who is making 6 figures @ the age of 28? (28 yr old)


Why?

The man is a pilot at his age of 30.

Anyone please?

[nauticalstar420]

He could be intimidated by you. You seem like a very successful woman and he might think that either you wouldn't give him the time of day, or he wouldn't live up to your expectations.

[rpg219]

To some men, it's the quality of life... not the quanity. In other words... the money doesn't mean as much to him as it does you. Personalities, meaning the other woman, shine through very strong. I am not saying that you don't have a good personality, but his mashes with hers better (obviously).
Good luck in finding your "one".

[The Lake House]

I admire him, he is more successful than I am?
Why is that?

[nauticalstar420]

I didn't say that you are more successful than him, but by the way you present yourself he may think that you are.

How well do you know this guy? Have you been on a date with him?

**EDIT** - I don't fully understand your last post. Are you asking why you admire him?

[The Lake House]

Sorry, I meant why he choice her...

I don't consider myself as an intimidating woman. (yes, people might consider me as one)I am a humble person, I don't talk about my work to him at all.

Most people who know me have told me I am the nicest person... isn't that what a man looks for??

[GeniusfromGeniusHell]

The differences you point out could be the very reason he made the choice.

A 30 year-old man generally has nothing in common with a 28 year-old virgin. No offense, and I respect your decision to wait. However, your notion of "purity" is outdated, and it is possible that to him it means that you are inexperienced both sexually and emotionally (and he would be right).

So he chooses someone who has been around the block and knows what she wants. She is more appealing to him because she knows how to handle herself in a relationship in ways that you possibly do not.

Either find someone who shares your values, or for petessake get out there and experience relationships. Be selective and have respect for yourself, of course, but "Pure" does not equal happy; not in this day and age. The value of virginity only exists in your mind. Hanging on to it for dear life isn't helping you be happy. If you are following certain religious standards, the keep it if you will, but then you'll need to find a (rare) man who is similar.

[inthebox]

Why a man likes a nurse who had kids when she was 16, divored twice in her life with an average looking (34 yrs old)
instead of
a Top MBA graduate, pure(a virgin), beatiful, humble,intelligent who is making 6 figures @ the age of 28? (28 yr old)


Why??

The man is a pilot at his age of 30.

Anyone please??

Because all he wants is sex.
This is from male point of view.

Instead of thinking with his brain, he is thinking with the little head, and it does not matter how much money he makes, what job he has, what he looks like etc...

You are to be commended for being true to yourself and your values. You cannot be happy if you compromise on who you are; and what you want, expect, deseve from a real man.







Grace and Peace

[chuff]

I don't know how to say this and I'm saying this as someone with a nice guy problem that has been a problem that has got me taken advantage of. But if you haven't dated much or if you held off it then you might come across as to possesive or have "stalker" qualities because you can't draw boundries between a healthy love and possesive, never leave him alone love. A few years ago I tried and tried to date this girl and when she finally took an interest in me and would not quick calling every 20 minutes. When I didn't answer she would come over and say the words "I just happened to be in the neighborhood." I asked and asked for her to quit calling me so much and to let me be when I was studying (as I was in college then). I went from chasing her to wishing I never met her in a snap. She wasn't a bad person but she wasn't somebody that had learned boundries and when to use them. While being a virgin is a blessing I would certainly understand and it's nothing I can't knock you for, it also comes with a lack of understanding unwritten rules of relationships.

[The Lake House]

Sorry, I have to say I am not, I am a mature woman, and never clingy, very independent.
He once said that I was too good for him and he can't stand on me being happy all the time.
I am a grown up with a successful career, I am truly happy because I have found God.

[chuff]

Sorry, I have to say I am not, I am a mature woman, and never clingy, very independent.
He once said that I was too good for him and he can't stand on me being happy all the time.
I am a grown up with a successful career, I am truly happy b/c I have found God.

Your also somewhat of a bragger constantly reminding everybody of how successful you are. Perhaps you didn't learn the unwritten rule of making people feel good about themselves by not telling them how great you are all the time. No wonder he feels that you are to good for him, he had no choice.

[The Lake House]

Do you think being too independent is a bad thing for women?

Sorry, I just want to say that I am very happy about what I have got. There is really nothing to complain about in my life. He thought that was weird not to complain about anything. I don't understand that part.

P.S. I didn't mention my work and achievement around him(I figured he must have known that), and I knew that would be a turn off.

[chuff]

Do you think be too independent is a bad thing for women?

Absolutely not. I think it's a great thing. While you are independent in many areas, you are new to relationships, which by the way I'm not knocking. But being independent also means that you don't have to put other people down because they did not take the same path in life, or did not have the same opportunities you had. I get the feeling just by some of your posts here that you have this aura of "I'm better then you because I'm pure, I'm smart, I make money." That's great but if you have to use that against other people to make yourself feel better what do you really have at the end of the day? I'm not pure, I'm a college graduate, and I make much less then you, but I see people everyday who have it worse then me. I don't hold it against them because I haven't followed their path in life nor do I know there whole story. Just because you got to where your at doesn't mean that your any better then anybody else but you have this way of making it seem like it does. And speaking as a man, I sure wouldn't want to be around someone telling me I sucked even if those weren't the words being used.

[chuff]

Sorry, I just want to say that I am very happy about what I have got. There is really nothing to complain about in my life. He thought that was wierd not to complain about anything. I don't understand that part.

Then if he's a complainer and your not maybe it just wasn't a good fit and you two should be apart.

[The Lake House]

I really didn't say anything like that in real life. ( I do think like this now, because I can't believe he would go for someone who has baggage).
I didn't put him down, in fact, he makes more than I do, and he put me down sometimes.
I think that's fine he keeps his pride, and he should.

[Synnen]

Being the "had several long term relationships that didn't work", "had a child out of wedlock", "lost my virginity at 16", 32 year old, chubby, with no college degree... why would your qualifications make you "better" than I am?

I might have a more fun personality. I might be a better cook. I might make him feel always comfortable around me. I might read the same books, like the same movies, and have the same interests and hobbies he does.

What the hell does being a virgin, never having had a relationship, and having money and a degree have to do with being happy with another person?

He might prefer a woman like me to one like you because I wouldn't hold him to the exacting standards that you do.

[The Lake House]

How do you know I don't cook?
We met at the golf course... he is busier than I am.
He is a virgin too (suprisingly, that's what he said), so I don't think that me being a virgin is the problem, that could be something else.

[chuff]

"The Lake House agrees: Probably. well, I am complaining now,lol. I will get over with it, thank you, Chuff."

I don't want to come across as saying you should never complain or stand up for yourself. Nor do I not want you to ask questions so that you can move forward with some knowledge that will help you in the future. Complain away, just do it in a positive way and with an open mind that helps you understand some things from a different perspective. Most everybody thinks they are right all of the time. It's those that stop and say "hmmm what could I improve on here" or "what am I doing wrong" that move forward with a better understanding of who they are and how to behave in certain situations that will help them the next time it happens. It also gives them a positive mental attitude towards dealing with the sting of loss which is all I'd want for anybody.

[Synnen]

You missed my point.

My point was that it could be any of a million factors.

You didn't tell me you were intelligent, funny, and enjoyed crossword puzzles--you made it a moral issue that made women like me look like we're not worthy of successful man.

I took offense to that.

He may like the way she looks, the way she carries herself, the way she laughs. He may like that she already has kids. He may like the fact that she knows what she wants. He may like the way her jeans fit her rear end, or that she only wears sneakers.

My suggestion is that you ask HIM.

[The Lake House]

I asked, he didn't say a word.

...

Not a word...

His mum was very mad at him... she couldn't understand his action either.
(He was the one setting his standards high, his father is a Minister of a local church, so the whole family is really religious).