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Nikitamarya23 · Oct 6, 2007, 03:46 AM

I have a similar question to what someone else asked who is located from Alabama.
How do I file for Child Abandonment? The difference between my situation and the other person who asked this exact question is that the father actually still lives in the same state as we do. He hadn't seen my son in 9 months and if it weren't for the father's mother calling up out of the clear blue sky these past 2-3 months, I don't think not only would we have not seen him in 9 months, we would have not heard from him in 9 months. Last year close to this time we hadn't seen him in 6 months and it had been about four months during that time since we heard from him. We had scheduled times for him to see him everyday but he always lacks off after the holidays are over. I think that the only reason he comes around is because someone is bugging him about my son and he has no idea what to say and so he decides to call and try to be a father. Once everything has gone back to normal and everyone is gone and have gone on about their business, then he disappears out of the picture again, until the next major holiday or Father's day pops up. Keeping all of this in mind, is there a way to file for child abandonment? It would be nice to be able to revoke his rights as well, because there is even more to this story.

RichardBondMan · Oct 6, 2007, 04:30 AM

I think he's already abandoned his child so why take legal steps to make it formal? Not sure if there is such a thing as "filing for abandonment". I do think there is "adoption" and if that's what someone (such as your current spouse or friend) would like to attempt, then that's possible but it's my personal experience that the natural father must consent to the adoption.

macksmom · Oct 6, 2007, 07:14 AM

Unless you have someone willing to adopt the child, filing abandonment and trying to get his rights terminated won't happen unless you have someone to step in in his place.

In Ohio it's a minimum of 6 months with no contact or child support... very important... if he is paying child support there is no grounds for abandonment!

But anyway, like I said... the point is mute unless you have someone willing to adopt the child.

Nikitamarya23 · Oct 6, 2007, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by macksmom

Unless you have someone willing to adopt the child, filing abandonment and trying to get his rights terminated won't happen unless you have someone to step in in his place.

In Ohio its a minimum of 6 months with no contact or child support....very important....if he is paying child support there is no grounds for abandonment!

But anywho, like I said....the point is mute unless you have someone willing to adopt the child.

Thanks. Macksmom. Unfortunately, I have no one to take the father's place. You know, I am just tired of him popping up and calling when he pleases to, saying the same old crapt. The father lives or at least use to live 15 minutes away and wouldn't see my son for 4-6months. This year he hadn't seen him in 9 months. I tell you, there ought to be a law against this. The father has posed a danger to myself and my son at one point and so when he calls out of the blue, I'm frightened and terrified and begin to shake and sometimes have panic and/or anxiety attacks. I can't live like this. I have yet to get him on voicemail stating an actual threat so I can't legally get him there, but I do have him on voicemail saying other things.

Nikitamarya23 · Oct 6, 2007, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by RichardBondMan

I think he's already abandoned his child so why take legal steps to make it formal? Not sure if there is such a thing as "filing for abandonment". I do think there is "adoption" and if that's what someone (such as your current spouse or friend) would like to attempt, then that's possible but it's my personal experience that the natural father must consent to the adoption.

Thanks RichardBondMan.
Unfortunately, I do not have anyone to take the father's place, but I do have some Great Christian Uncles and male friends who can teach my son what he needs to know as a boy and as a man. It would be great to have a good Christian Man to adopt my son but unfortunately at this time that can't happen. I am just tired of him being able to call and/or pop up out of the blue after 4-6 months. What he does is he may call every four months and just state that he was just checking to see how his son was doing and then hang up. This year my son hasn't seen him for 9 months and if the father's mother hadn't called in July talking about coming down here, we probably would not have heard from him in 9 months. We actually hadn't heard from her in 5-6 months and she pops up and call out of the blue talking about seeing my son. Each time she calls he ends up calling, so that is problematic. I can't take anymore of this, something legally has got to be done and I'm just trying to see what can be done and what can be done without paying a fortune. Thanks for your response.

N0help4u · Oct 6, 2007, 02:11 PM

Can you talk to him and see if he really cares if you leave the state?
As long as there is no court custody papers that say he is to have visitations
And he is okay with it you should be able to see if he will sign a notarized document
Stating he is okay with it and that he won't come after you for leaving the state with your son.

Yeah RBM she does need to go through the courts but I would start with seeing if he were willing to sign something in the meantime
In case he changed his mind. My neighbor did that when his sons mother didn't want him.

Nikitamarya23 · Oct 6, 2007, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Can you talk to him and see if he really cares if you leave the state?
As long as there is no court custody papers that say he is to have visitations
and he is okay with it you should be able to see if he will sign a notarized document
stating he is okay with it and that he won't come after you for leaving the state with your son.

I am a little lost on your answer because I never stated that I was leaving the state. Although, I guess I could pretend as if I were leaving the state and see what he would say, but let me put it like this, I could have easily left the state if I had wanted to and he would have never know because he has gone several months without calling, so how would he have ever known that we even left the state and when. If I had the money to leave the state, I would and to think of it, he would have never known when we left because of the length of time that goes by with out him even calling and even speaking with us.
Thanks for your response.

N0help4u · Oct 6, 2007, 05:39 PM

Oh sorry, I thought you wanted to get him for abandonment so you could leave the state without him pressing kidnapping charges or something.
You basically want to get a court order to take away his parental rights.
You need to go to family court and explain what you want and they will tell you where you need to go and what papers you need to fill out and so forth.

Nikitamarya23 · Oct 6, 2007, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Oh sorry, I thought you wanted to get him for abandonment so you could leave the state without him pressing kidnapping charges or something.
You basically want to get a court order to take away his parental rights.
You need to go to family court and explain what you want and they will tell you where you need to go and what papers you need to fill out and so forth.

Well... that was my thought. File for Abandonment since he never comes around nor calls unless his mother calls or it is near a holiday and of course doesn't pay a lick of child support but that is another story all in itself. This time around he hadn't seen his son in nine months and prior to June 6th we hadn't heard from him in 4 months and again in a month and now two months. I guess I could always go to Family court and discuss that with them. I'm just trying to see what's the best way to deal with all of this.