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forme · Oct 4, 2007, 05:31 AM

Bit of background.. I was with my girlfriend for 3 years (18 months if you exclude online) and she split up with me one month ago. It wasn't a nasty ending or anything and the reason for it happening was basically because we smothered each other and become more friend like. For 3 years we spoke on the phone every single night, often for around 2-3 hours with texts throughout the day. The last 3 months before we split, in the summer, we saw each other about 9 hours a day and about 6 days a week. And then we'd come home and spend a further hour or so on the phone! We really did neglect other friends and family. Sounds ridiculous and pathetic now I actually look back at it.

We're now both back at college again and we have gotten ourselves a little life each, outside of one another. Its been difficult to resist (I really do miss and love her), but for the past month I have really tried to limit talking to her to as little as possible. I tried and failed at NC but just to let us miss each other sort of thing. We've had no calls, no texts, no meeting. We've only spoke online and I've only signed in say 2-3 times a week for an hour or so as opposed to every single day like before. The person who initiated contact has always been mixed.

She's now giving me signs that she's missing me. Sending me songs with lyrics like 'we'll be together again' and 'is it wrong to miss you'. Just spelling it out for me basically. Also whenever her friends asks if she's OK, she'll reply with just 'sad and confused' or something.

So what do I do? Ask her out again even though she left me? Stay busy and just let her miss me more? Or?

Any help would be great :)

smoothy · Oct 4, 2007, 05:35 AM

If you go out with her again expect more of this same behavior she has expressed in the past. If you are OK with this then go for it, if it bothers you then save yourself the aggravation and keep your distance.

ConfusedandLost · Oct 4, 2007, 05:53 AM

I would also add if you choose that path of a renewed relationship... apply what you have learned previously. Stop smothering each other, or you will surely head down the same path again...

MeandYou4Ever · Oct 4, 2007, 06:14 AM

If you love each other, then go for it. Just learn from your mistakes that the two of you made in the first place. Now that your both in school, the might be a little but easier you know?

mckenzie134 · Oct 4, 2007, 06:53 AM

Space!!

forme · Oct 4, 2007, 10:25 AM

Thanks for replies so far

Anymore opinions?

Jiser · Oct 4, 2007, 10:52 AM

Yeh I would suggest you have more time apart. You cannot 'change' and learn in 4 weeks. You need longer. You may want to express to your ex for her not to contact you for a while or not. But go no contact for now and learn to be happy alone. A partner should expand your already happy life not make it! When you can get there by all means...

forme · Oct 5, 2007, 07:41 AM

I asked her last night if she wanted to meet as friends sometime and she said, not for now as she's not ready just yet and is too confused. Was a nice casual chat though and when I walked past her today she gave me a big smile and waved which was nice! I'm just going respect her wishes now and wait and see. Guess there's nothing I can do to hurry it up abit? Just got not try force the issue and make use of this time for me yeah?

MeandYou4Ever · Oct 5, 2007, 07:51 AM

You do your thing and let her do hers. If its meant to be it will. Let faith take its corse, if you guys are meant to be then you will be together again. I hope everything works out for you.

forme · Oct 5, 2007, 07:57 AM

Words of wisdom mate, Thanks.

Wrote it all down on my phone so it's there for me read again!

MeandYou4Ever · Oct 5, 2007, 08:14 AM

Keep reading it over and over again. Don't call her, if she wanted the break, let her call you.