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Duckling · Sep 28, 2007, 08:42 PM

There are those rare miracle stories about people getting back together with their ex, and living happily ever after. Can people share these stories? There are so many breakup ones on this site, that I thought it would be nice to have some stories that end up working out.

Biggie · Sep 28, 2007, 09:14 PM

Good luck with that:p

myadvice4you · Sep 29, 2007, 01:18 AM

Ditto.

Moomin · Sep 29, 2007, 01:21 AM

It can happen sometimes... :)

s_cianci · Sep 29, 2007, 05:37 AM

Not to be a naysayer, but I think such stories are few and far between. I will say, that during my bachelor years, when a girl I was dating didn't want to see me anymore, I'd quite often get the "I'm going back to my old boyfriend" routine. Although it may have ben true in some cases, no way was it true all of the time as it happened far too often. I figured that it had become a convenient cop-out for them, giving an excuse that isn't personal and therefore really couldn't be argued with. Maybe we ought to change the tone of this thread a little bit and ask for some good break-up lines that are effective. I've got two daughters coming up who I'm sure will have occasion to get rid of unwanted boyfriends so I'm going to need some good breakup lines to feed them. I'm already banking on the "I'm going back with my old boyfriend" as my #1 weapon to give them but I'm sure I'll have a need for more, so let's have them! Ladies, help me be a good dad and train my daughters on how to get rid of a boyfriend gone sour!

Jiser · Sep 29, 2007, 10:48 AM

In my family. My auntie married her first love after being married once she married him. (this was like over 30 years ago)

My cousin split up with his girlfriend and three years of NC, plus separate relationships and living miles apart then she got back in contact and they been together for 10 years.

It can happen, best thing to do is to stay NC so you learn and grow as a person. Let the emotional dust settle first.

Jiser · Sep 30, 2007, 06:00 AM

There are stories out there, if you look on Google and other forums. Its quite possible. First though to make anything work in the future you have to learn to be happy alone. You must learn and let time pass. You may or may not want to do NC. For those who in real life who I know who didn't do NC I could see it on their faces it was painful as it was for me.

No contact allows you to regain yourself without the confusion of the constant reappearnce of your ex - loved one.

In fact I got back with my ex twice within the space of two weeks each time. Guess what it didn't work. I am happy for those where it did work. Maybe it will for us one day.

Moomin · Sep 30, 2007, 02:27 PM

My Mom who is aged 59 married a man this summer - she used to date him when she was in her 20's!
It was a fab day, the sun was shining and I have never seen either of them look happier!

ChihuahuaMomma · Nov 27, 2007, 03:45 PM

My boyrfeind's parents were divorced for two years after being married for 10, then go married again, and it's been 18 this time around. It can happen. It depends on the reason. He wanted to move to America (from Bosnia, she did not). They divorced. She finally decided to move here, they got remarried. If the relationship was broken up due to unfaithfulness then NO, it won't work, the other person basically just condoned this behavior.

But in some cases, it works...

Guest · Apr 4, 2008, 02:32 AM

It happens more than you think. Why don't you hear about it? Because happy couple don't go on the internet googling getting back together. Who does? People who are sad because it is not working out and all they do is complain about moving on and how hard it is. Personally, I think you should stop looking for reassurance in other's stories. BTW, this is what I was doing right now when I had this realization. Go buy yourself some ebooks that deal with the topic of getting back your ex. Read more than one to get a better understanding. Understand what went wrong and fix it. NC is vital, but you need to work on yourself during that time to make it work. The more you work the shorter the NC has to be. If you don't then NC has to be as long as it takes for you to naturally get over them. But you can do it in a shorter time if you learn to look at it from a different angle. A shift of paradigm sort of thing.

Also, about infidility, never underestimate the human power to forgive when attraction and perception of change is there. You need to trust yourself that you won't cheat again though before you can make her trust you. And it happens. Couples come back together after affairs more than you think. But there is much work to be done in that case as well. However, if you were cheated on, you need to ask the question if that's what you want in a partner. Do you think he would change? Has he? How do you know? Can you forgive and look past it without being insecure in the future?

I personally think that getting back with a cheater is only possible when you recognize that you had some part in causing them to cheat. Blaming it all on your partner will take away any power and control from you and leave you insecure. Face it, people don't cheat when they are deeply happy in a relationship. So if you are ready to take some responsibility, fix that flow, forgive as long as you think they have changed and get back together without thinking ever again about what happened, then go for it. Otherwise, you need to move on or work more on achieving those goals.

Oh and one more thing, it's never over until it's over. As long as one party is interested and as long as there was genuine love once, there is always a way to bring that back. The problem is to figure out how to do all the right things to make it happen. It often doesn't work because we are programmed to react to breakups in a way that makes things worse. Use logic, not emotion. As the later would be your worse enemy after a breakup.

LostInHisEyez · Apr 4, 2008, 08:11 AM

Stories do exist.. im trying real hard to make one stick. Been dating a guy for 2 years, and we broke up, twice, and he came back, but this time we're still not together, but it feels as if he didn't leave.. the details don't really matter.. but all that matters is that fairytales don't exist but if you try and communicate and be loyal etc- it will come out to be 99.99% like one.

emopunk7 · Apr 4, 2008, 08:55 AM

Well, as everyone knows... I had the longest post here... (I reached over 100 pages of advice from people here... Special thanks to T-man and copperhead and chuff.) I have gotten back with my ex after 8 months but it's because of the help I received on this site. I listened and took the advice and I'm so happily in love going on four months back together and everything is perfect and I treat her like a princess!

Chameleon24 · Apr 4, 2008, 01:23 PM

I have heard stories about people getting back together. People who are now happily married, but maybe broke up once or twice while they were dating. Hearing these stories sometimes scares me because I think they give me hope that my ex and I could maybe reunite one day. If I have that in my mind then it makes it harder to move on. Like I'm expecting something that will most likely never happen.
I would love to make things work out between us. I would love to think of this as just some "bump" in our road together. I would only take him back if I saw a definite change from what he did to me. What is his true self - the caring man who fell in love w/ me and wanted to settle down in life or the jerk who broke it off in a childish way then two weeks later started dating a girl who's 8 yrs younger then him? If he honestly wanted me back he would have to prove that he still cares for me and would have to admitt that he made a huge mistake. I guess it's OK to give someone a 2nd chance but only if they deserve it. Problem is... I can't do anything about it. I can't try to fix things. If he doesn't love me or want a future w/ me, there's no point in trying to "work things out".
I can't move on if Im still clinging to someone from the past. But what if I let go and one day he decides to come back and Im already gone?

emopunk7 · Jun 18, 2008, 08:57 AM

Well, if you are still wanting her then you can decide... But if you are already gone, then better for you!. It's always best to move forward... Trust me!

memorypill · Jun 18, 2008, 09:07 AM

I'm trying to make my own get back together story and live happily ever after but for now the one I can tell is about my aunt.

She dated a man when she was in high school and they were together for a long time they even were married but she was/ is very immature and personally I couldn't deal with her and they ended up getting divorced and she tried to be with other men but she eventually came back and now they are married (again) and have 2 kids. I hope she's grown up a bit but either way they seem to be happy together so it can happen sometimes.