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nigel5 · Sep 28, 2007, 03:12 PM

HEy,
Am nigel... Well, am african and I think ave fallen in love with this girl, whose korean :( I don't know what to do, don't know what to say because its like I look around me and everyone seems so judgmental about us. But, I really love her and I know even her parents might not agree to it or mine too. Help?

shygrneyzs · Sep 28, 2007, 03:32 PM

You do not state how old you are, if you are living on your own, how old she is, if she is living on her own; you do not state much in the way of helping you.

You say you look around and it SEEMS like everyone is judgemental. What happens that makes you feel that way? What do people say to you, what do they do to you, that makes you believe they are judging you and your girlfriend? Now it could be that this is all your perception and it could be that you are basing this on valid things that have happened to you.

You also say you know her parents MIGHT NOT agree to it. That tells me you do not even know for sure. Have you approached her parents and asked for permission to date their daughter? How could they approve if they do not know you or know your intentions? Same goes for your parents. Bet you have not even brought this topic up with them. So you cannot say for 100% proof positive that either set of parents will or will not agree.

If you are of age and working and providing for your own support and care, then you are an adult and can make adult decisions. One of those is dating the person you wish. If your girlfriend is of age and doing the same, then she should be given that same right - to date the fellow she wishes. If you both are adults and can stand on your own feet, and want to date and fall in love, etc. then you need to prepare yourself for the possibility of not being accepted by your respective parents. Decide which is more important to you - your family or your girlfriend.

Now it could be well possible that your family will just want to see you happy. But you are not going to know until you talk to them.

statictable · Sep 28, 2007, 07:40 PM

Please let us know your location. Would you be able to re locate?

Fr_Chuck · Sep 28, 2007, 07:51 PM

So some people are judgemental, who cares.

People will be judgemental if you are with a fat girl, a slutty girl, a white girl, a real dark black girl or a black girl who is too light.
If you allow what others think to manage your life, you will never be happy.

N0help4u · Sep 28, 2007, 08:05 PM

I say as long as you are happy and it can work for you go for it
True love is hard to find any more and the only thing the judgmental ones will have
Against you is jealousy that they may have settled for less for the sake of
Appearance!

123heartbroken · Sep 30, 2007, 02:47 PM

Wel I've just come out of a relationship and my boyfriend was mixed race and I am white and I really fell for him and I didn't think my family would agree with it but I didn't care and decided to give it a chance and guess what they didn't care they not to bad about it!! It was just the people around us as I live in a very racist area but because I loved him I didn't seem to care about anyone else or there silly comments I think it is worth a try do not let anything stand in your way and give it a go forget what other people say its your life!!

missb · Oct 1, 2007, 08:12 AM

You would always run into judgmental people no matter what so don't worry about that... have you ever spoken with the girl before?. I don't see a problem in going after what you like.

talaniman · Oct 1, 2007, 12:39 PM

If she feels the same for you, then go for it, and the rest of the world can go hang itself. Its your life, and you should live it as you see fit.

nigel5 · Oct 6, 2007, 03:34 PM

Thank everyone for all the good thots. I go to college here, in the United states :) I think am going to finally tell her how I feel and see how it goes :)

statictable · Oct 7, 2007, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by nigel5

Thank everyone for all the good thots. I go to college here, in the United states :) I think am gonna finaly tell her how i feel and see how it goes :)

Hi Nigel: Many times when a man and woman love each other they have to do what is best for each other and in doing so there will some ruffled feathers but in time most people will face down their fears and realize it's not for them to say who or why 2 people are in a relationship and if they fail they will have to go through life wearing a mask for all to see. Go for it and you'll succeed. PS> both you your partner must have to same clear thoughts about standing with each other through thick and thin. Nigel, these things happen every day so remember the 2 of you will not be alone.