[beansnotsureagain]

My husband and I were both divorced before and come from sketchy past. Together we have four children and I don't want to see them get hurt again by going through another divorce but I am not happy. We were together for two and half years before we got married a year and a half ago but since then thing have just went down hill fast. He has totall pulled away from me and closed up. I have my issues from my past but I am open with him about them and get little back from him. He does work long hours and things are very stressful in our current living situation but we both have to deal with that. His ex wife and I strangly get along and has told me that he acted the same way and that and her cheating lead to there divorce. I want us to be able to work through this but he won't talk with me about it and I know he won't agree to seek counselling for the issues at hand.I am not even sure if I am the problem or not. I guess my question is if a person is abandon by someone does that make them block out others from letting them see their feelings? Even if that person is the one person they should trust?

[RubyPitbull]

Honey, your questions can't be answered with a definite response because every person is different in how they respond to a particular situation or problem. However, I do have a suggestion. Are you absolutely positive that your husband won't go to counseling? You really won't know his answer until you ask him. If you want to attempt to fix the problems you are having, if your husband is really unwilling to go to a counselor, then you should go to one alone. You are clearly unhappy and it will be a positive move for you to seek out the help of a qualified marriage counselor. Here is a link that will help you get started: The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory

[RaineAndrews]

I agree with Ruby. You have to ask to know for sure. And by going to counseling (either by yourself or with your husband) You will have peace of mind knowing you are actively trying everything you can to make things work. I personally find that his ex-wife's excuse is a cop-out, but I've never been a person in that situation (or a woman for that matter). But that isn't the point, the point is, find help. Maybe down the line, you going will convince him to go if he does in fact say no (which could just be a pride thing, not that he doesn't want to fix anything).