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kerileigh · Sep 23, 2007, 06:49 AM

Yesterday, I found out that my boyfriend, john, of 6 years cheated on me. I have been crying all day and night and don't know how to get over it. I feel so alone. He was my everything, my best friend. I thought he was going to be the ONE. But we were together in high school and we went threw hell and back. And been there for each other threw thick and thin. I did everything for him. Took him places, gave him things. He didn't have a job and I was trying to help him but I could only help so much. Well Friday I when to the ER and didn't want to go by myself so I went to his house and woke him up so he could go with me. At the ER he was in the whole time and I was like ? I have to jump when he goes but he can't when its for me. So then after I found out I had a ovarian cyist. Which kills. And he needed to drive me but then I ended up being okay to drive. So we went back to his house to let his mom know were he was going to be. He let me check his cell phone and there were a couple text messages to him from a girl names lisa and I asked him who she was and he said it was his moms friend. So I was like whatever. Then wew drove by a couple girls and they were like "i love you johnny" and I was like who is that and he was like some 14 year olds... so then I took him out for the day we went to the park and talked and he was like I want to spend the whole night with you. So we rented a holtel room [[which I paided for]] but I love him. We had a good time went out for dinner and . I have the time of my life but when he kissed me it didn't feel like he meant it. [[btw he didn't bring his cell with him]] the next morning we left and went out for breakfast. Then back to his house for a little till I had to work. Well his mom and because and him were there and his because was like "something something LISA". I was like who the is Lisa and his because is like "my friend" and I was like wait john said it was his moms and she was like "well its my friends daughter" I then asked how old she was... she said 19. I was like what the ! John lied to me again. And the I asked to see his phone for his number he added "why so you can make me look stupid"[[if there's nothing going on then why would you look stupid it would be all on me]] so then I grabbed his phone and got her number and checked his VM.

THEN

There were messages from her and her friend telling him to call her. And then another one that said "your going out with my because and your with your ex" I was flipping out and he just sat there. I couldn't even believe it. Then his mom got in my face so I smashed the cell phone [[ which I paided for]] and she flipped out and told me she was going to kill me and . So I left like a bat out of helll. Well then I called that girl and found out some info... her name is lisa she is pregnant and has 1 son [[ which are not johns]] and my ex kissed her and told her he wanted to be friends with benefits and she went on to tell me more but had to go. I just couldn't believe it so I went to call her back again and guess who answered the phone. JOHN DID. I hung up. He said that she left it. And I don't know what to do.

I love him.

But part of me is so hurt.

And I just don't know what to do

HELP!

[[i hope this all makes sence]]

talaniman · Sep 23, 2007, 07:14 AM

I would say it's a good time to take your marbles, and go home, and put this drama behind you. I realise its not easy after 6 years but he was not doing his part to grow in this relationship, and you'll be happier without him.

shygrneyzs · Sep 23, 2007, 07:57 AM

Hi Keri. I agree with Tal, you are better off without him. You have a future without him. In your other post I read where you are going to school (already a CNA) and you have plans for your life. Now you need to learn how to keep those plans without the boyfriend.

Six years is a long time to be with someone. Most likely he was your only boyfriend. That hurts so much. It will take some time to get over him but you can do that. He must want to be with other girls, so let him go and do not look back. You loved him and you can learn to unlove him.

Give yourself some space to put all the pieces together. You are not going to get past this in a day. Let yourself grieve for a short time - a short time - then look at your life and go forward.

Here are two links to posts by other members in what to do after a break-up, what to expect after a break-up - like how to survive the break-up:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

bright_stone · Sep 23, 2007, 10:52 AM

I agree with talaniman also adding that in the future, instead of focusing on your relationships and sexuality, plan for your own future to be a strong, independent woman. You need to find your importance in this life, in the Plan God has for you. It IS NOT dependent on men. Having sex without marriage has an enormous chance of setting you up for rejection and disappointment. I could belabor this topic but won't. HOPE YOU ARE LISTENING.