[teaspoon]

Hi,
I read all the nasty comments that people responded to about my terminating my paternal rights. This boys mother told him from day one that his father was dead and that I was to have nothing to do with him. This is the same thing that my mother told me when until I found out that he was mine. As long as he was at my mothers house I was not allowed their. The only time my mother called me while he was there was to ask for money for what she was spending on this boy. The boy came to my state about 2 years ago, I was not allowed contact with him at that point and time either. My mother was taking care of the boy and his mother and saying that money was coming from me. When I found out about things she told me again that he was not mine and that she was visiting because she knew my mother. A few months after they up and left again my mother was doing the same thing sending her money and saying that it was from me. I am not going to push myself on anyone. I asked repeatedly for a paternity test, I even was going to take the boy myself and have the test done. But how when I was not allowed contact. It seemed to me that the boys mother had something to hide, not me. I am not afraid to lie the sexual act that the child was a big mistake that I cannot take back if I could I would no questions asked. I when I asked for a paternity test years ago all of my request went denied. The only reason that I want to terminate my rights is because I cannot have any contact with him because the mother has said so, my mom will not let me have any contact with him. I saw the boy in the store with my mother one day and went to speak to him and buy him something. She told him not to come to me and that I was not his father. Come on give me some slack. I just found out after nine years. I am a darn good father I have two children here with my wife and I love my kids very much. No I do not share the same feelings for him as I do for my other kids. How can I, I just found out. I cannot afford to keep on taking time of from work to run back and forth to court when the magistrate just dismisses my case before I can say a word. I did not read anywhere where any one you said that the boys mother should not have told the boy that his father was dead. I think that is low as low can get. Until the judge ordered a paternity test his mother refused me one. She said that is I was the boys father than she would rather for her son not to know. For a woman to lay down with more than one man, and not know who is responsible for getting her pregnant to makes says that she is a slut. If she does not want me to have anything to do with him I am fine with that. As far as him going to college and becoming a doctor by law he cannot refuse to operate on me not unless he wants to lose his license. I am not going to force myself on anyone child or not. This past week I have called her at least two times a day to talk to the boy and her to see if we can work something out. She will not even answer the telephone or return my phone calls. The boys mother told me that my child support buys her a pair of shoes every week. Sounds like to me the she is using the child support not the boy. If I could give up my paternal rights for good, I will do it in a heartbeat. This is the mothers request and I am willing to follow her orders. Oh and by the way she is married at least that is what she says. Another thing I am not for sure if she is in the united states legally. Maybe they could check into that and send them all back. Now before you judge me again ask yourself what kind of a mother would tell her son that his father is dead. I think that I have done good dealing with this situation, I was not with my wife at the time of dealings with this girl, but after she said something about the boy yes I did tell my wife the entire story. My past is my past and believe me I cannot change it. But I do not think that it is fair that people judge me when the mother told this boy that I was dead and that was the reason that I was not I his life.

[LearningAsIGo]

I responded to your private message here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parent...-129393-2.html

[macksmom]

Ok... so I am assuming you are the OP "migraine"? Creating a new account, and posting at continuance to your OP on your other account just confuses everyone.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parent...ts-129393.html
All of this info here in this post, should have been included or posted as reply to your OP on you old account.

Sounds like you are fishing for different answers... because in your OP on your old account, you said you never knew you had a son.
Now you are saying you did, but weren't allowed any contact.

Bottom line... regardless of any situation... you CANNOT sign away your parental rights, unless the mother is in agreement and she has someone willing to adopt the child in your place.

[tawnynkids]

How come no one said shame on her for saying you were dead? Well, because in your original post you didn't say anything about it.

I don't feel any more sorry for you now than I did before your story. In fact, now I am sure you are just one more self centered person. What she did was dead wrong and what you are doing is just as wrong. One day when your son comes to you and says "how come you never wanted me?" What are you going to say huh? "Well, pal your mom said screw me so, I said screw you!"

Instead of saying to yourself, "I was robbed for all those years, I am going to love that little boy silly. I am going to tell him I am his Daddy and that Daddy has always loved him. I am going to do my best to make up for lost time. I am going to correct every lie they told him about me", you sit and whine. I can't go to court again, I can't even see him, my mom stabbed me in the back, that witch stabbed me in the back, I shouldn't have to pay... blah, blah, blah.

First time around she robbed your son of you, and you of him... now you are doing it yourself. Grow up.

[Fr_Chuck]

We care and don't think what she did was right, but guess what, it don't effect what you should have done, a father is just that, he would have fought in court and keep fighting in court to get visits and prove he was not dead.

A dead beat dad can make a lot of excuses for not doing the right thing and being there for his child.