[Bdomo]

It all started in my senior year of high school. I had moved from my old high school in and transferred somewhere elese. I meet my ex at this new school my senior year. And we get together and then things began to change after a couple of months being with him I start to accuse of him of things like cheating or get mad when he has to go to basketball practice but, I still loved him and he loved me. So one day he calls me on sat. and tells me that he was going to take me out on Sun. So I 'm like OK that's cool. So Sunday comes along and I have not heard from him the whole day. I decide to call him and ask where he is and he tells me that he is at a game with his brother. I get upset and ask why are you at a game if you told me you were going to pick me up and take me out. He tells me no I never said that I said I might come get you. So I get mad and we argue about things from past discussions and then I tell him .so if you can't handle the way I am then maybe you shouldn't be with me. So he says don't say something you don't mean or do something you'll regret. So we get off the phone and were mad at each other. So, basically the whole school year we go back and forth with the relationship. And he still pops up at my house to see me even though now that we are in college. I don't understand it. He has a girlfriend and still comes every month or so and just pops up at my house to see my face or see how I am. Someone tell me please. Because I still love him and I don't know what to do.

[Tony2005]

Loving someone is one thing and being compatible is another. You might be in love with him and vice versa but as you say that he couldn't give the desired importance and attention to you. Perhaps, the love that you shared with him is still alive and wants to explore the emotional attachment with him. Like I said, loving someone does not assure compatibility. It could be possible that after you decide to get along with him once again, you might face the same feeling of being deprived. He might behave the same way as he did earlier. So, think again. Exploring the love relationship is indeed tempting but if you want a lasting and an deep emotional attachment then you should consider the compatibility element also.
So many people love each other but fail to recognise the lack of compatibility between them and go on around and around.

[dimples]

We have soulmates & we have relationships. What's the difference? Your SOULMATE shares with you your intimate thoughts, his favorite music, his corny jokes & his hidden desire to be an actor someday. You are in the same frequency. Likes the same food, conversation topics & the likes. But as you see, likes repel & opposites attract so no matter how you agree on most things, you will always have more things to argue about. A RELATIONSHIP is compromise. You do not have a lot of things in common but your common ground is compromise for every difference. So, it would be wishful thinking to end up with your soulmate. Some work, some don't. But to keep the peace & your sanity, you go for your relationship.
Maybe you think you & your ex are so much alike but then it didn't work out as you intended. He now has a girl & you wonder if there is still a spark there. My advice is do not put meaning to every nice gesture he makes. Maybe he still sees you because you are dependable & you shared a lot before. You are the soulmate, the shoulder to cry on, the good buddy. She is the RELATIONSHIP. That's the sad, aweful truth. Deal with it.

[fredg]

Hi,
Sorry to hear about the fact that you love him. He doesn't want you back!
As another said, it sounds like you two are not compatible at all.
Save yourself further heartache, further worries, and STOP seeing this jerk.
When he comes to your house again, tell him simply, "It's over". Close the door, and don't talk with him again about anything, or don't talk with him when he calls you, just simply hang up. He will soon get the message.
The longer you stay in this absurd relationship, the longer you will be in misery, and it WILL get worse for you.
Meet new people, make some new friends. You don't need him in your life any longer.
I do wish you the best of luck. Remember; only you can change things!
fredg

[shenda]

The event describe depicts you as confrontational and unsure of yourself. I say this because you allowed one set of circumstances to be blindsided by past events. The issue... a proposed encounter that did not manifest as assumed, yet you decided to waste your day waiting for him. According to your admission, you called to discover that he made other plans and things went South from there.

Your claim... still in love. Are you sure? Could it possibly be that you desire what is familiar? What reasons do you have, do you hold in your heart to support your claim of love? List them, evaluate your importance towards them, and then ask yourself, if these reasons suddenly became obsolete, lacking or inconsistent, could you still love him? Be honest with yourself, and know that humans are the only creatures on Earth capable of self-deception. I want you to understand, why? You are young, able to attack and destroy patterns of self-deception which will afford you a prosperous outlook on life and love. When you love someone, it must be for the essence of the person, moreover than how this person makes you feel about yourself. In other words, if Love constitutes rec'ving that which is lacking in yourself, it is not love, it is a cover up, a shield to protect your own shortcoming. I say this based on an admission in your account, "If he does not like the way you are"... why would he not like you just as you are, moreover, why would you entertain such thoughts, if you have learned to embrace the ALL that makes you... you. People will love us, AS is, when we love ourselves, AS is. It is possible that as we age, we mature in our mindsets, we will learn that other people's opinion = suggestions, but it is our opinion that matters. For one will not change, grow, or expand on a horizonal front unless the possessor sees and desires the value to be obtained. I focus more on you than him, because once you discover your core value, you may find that your interest in him has faded. I desire for All to maximize Life, to squeeze every ounce of life and live it to the fullest with the least amount BS thrown in the game. This is only achieved when the individual will confront the Truth in heart and refuse to be self-deceived. You will notice a pattern, making excuses, striving with your inner voice repeatedly on the same issue, knowing want you want and want you have settled for... remember there is no harm in rec'ving that which you truly desire, especially when it is a grounded expectation and above ALL... you are able to reciprocate... you are able to give what you expect... remember this equations YOU > excuses