[mahal_kita9]

Does anyone have any ideas or effective ways to cope with guilt?

[sandeeskibug]

I hope this helps here go's. Looking back on life you can see things differently than you can in the moment. You make the best decisions with the information you have at that time. There for looking back and wishing you had done things differently is in evadable but that doesn't mean you have to feel guilty.

[mahal_kita9]

I really like that outlook.
But... its not really something I regret... its something I'm doing currently that I can't help.

[sandeeskibug]

First step is realizing that you can't help what you are doing. Decide if you want to stop what you are doing. If so get help.

[shatteredsoul]

LEt it go, it is a waste of time and energy to feel guilty. Focus on ways to be better, different, stronger.. What happened in the past is done, all you can focus on now, the PRESENT... LIVE IN THE MOMENT AND LET THE REST GO...
My daughter at ten had this perspective about me feeling badly about something. Today is over. Tomorrow is a brand new day, and with that you get a new chance to start all over again and do it better and do it right. OUt of the mouths of babes!!

[mahal_kita9]

Thanks guys. Your opinions help
:)

[shatteredsoul]

I have moments of guilt and frustration with myself. I sometimes overanalyze a situation or go over something in my mind a thousand times and wonder, was that wrong or right? I can tell you through my own experience that it never did any good or changed anything, feeling badly about how I did something, or handled a situation. I wasted my own precious time worrying about what was already done. I realize I can't change it, but everyday I can do little things to try and be a better person and to respond differently. Or to make a wiser decision than before. Life is a process of learning as you go. There is no definite answers, so in the process of our mistakes, comes spiritual growth and maturity. IF we didn't screw up. What would we ever learn?? Be gentle with yourself, it is the most important thing you can do, and one of the most difficult to accomplish when feeling guilty.

[mahal_kita9]

Thanks shatteredsoul.. I loved your advice.
The thing is... what I'm doing now that makes me feel guilty... its the way I'm treating someone. And I've always treated this person like this, so its not too out of the ordinary. But here lately... that person has been bringing it up, which is something they've never done. I feel really bad... but its just something I cannot change.

[Wondergirl]

but... its not really something i regret...its something im doing currently that i can't help.

I'd sure like to know what you're doing that you "can't help".

If you have absolutely no choice in the matter (?? ), there is no reason for guilt. Guilt comes from regret that you made the wrong choice and committed the action, whatever it was. That means your guilt is phony, false.

If you don't regret the wrong action, why is there guilt? Guilt comes from regret.

[Wondergirl]

but its just something i cannot change.

Of course you can change it.

[Marily]

As long as you've sought forgiveness for whatever you've done that was wrong and not doing it again you have nothing to feel guilty about

[Illusion]

Remember, if you feel guilty - there is something that you resent. Go back to the situation and see if there is anything that you resent.