[SabbzR]

I have confidence issues. Plain and simple.

I can't hold eye contact with a woman, I can't even introduce myself if I see someone that catches my eye.

I'm a naturally shy person, and I have no idea why.

I've been told I'm extremely attractive by one woman, very handsome by another, gorgeous by a few, I've even been labeled a pretty boy (heaven forfend lol). So looks aren't the problem. I take pride in my appearance, and I know I dress well (been told so).

My only bad habit that I am aware of is that I bite my nails.

I'm fine once I get to know somebody, but when I've only just met them I'm quiet to the point of rudeness.

So what is causing my lack of confidence?

I've never had a fight in my entire life, in fact I don't even know HOW to fight. Could that do it?

When it comes to chat (IRC), I am exactly who I would like to be in real life. Confidence, Self-Assurd, but the reality of it is - I'm not.

I have friends that love to go out partying, and even after going out nearly every weekend for nearly 2 years, I still hadn't grown the confidence.

I didn't have a very good high-school time, scenario: typical geek nobody likes - lol
I was ridiculed a lot, but that was years ago.

I have the looks, charm, mysterious (hell knows why women like that lol) and so forth. Tall dark and handsome... cept the dark bit lol

I've dated extremely extroverted women who have tried to help me out - but haven't succeeded.

Why am I so utterly lacking in confidence? Any advice/suggestions/thoughts?

[Emland]

My daughter suffers from acute shyness and I have enrolled her in dance classes to see if that will help build her confidence and make her comfortable in front of people.

Maybe you can try public speaking classes or assertiveness training that will help your confidence.

I am also rather shy in person when I am not in a comfortable situation. I have forced myself to get through it though by volunteering in scouts, taking dance classes myself and taking leadership seminars through work.

Good luck. I'm sure you can do it.

[SabbzR]

Assertiveness training could help, only I don't have the confidence to go to one! LOL catch-22 :P

I'm not an assertive person. To my way of thinking, being assertive is forcing your will on somebody else. And since I don't like having that done to me, I don't do it to other people. :/

Its just, having no confidence is really irritating. Especially when a girl you hardly knows says something like: "you're absolutely gorgeous, yet you have no confidence? your alluring now, but if you had this great confidence..WOW!" you know?

I go out a lot, not to anything in particular, just to get out. I would take a walk through the
Mall or something, lots of people.

I last between 10-20 minutes, before I have to get out - either from feeling to closed in, feeling like everyone is watching me, judging me or from extreme irritation. Lack of common sense irritates me to madness lol, and there is a large lack of commonsense in south africa.

Maybe its this country?

I recently had a telephone discussion with a job agent in london and I was speaking to him like he was my cousin or something. I was open, friendly, new what to say!

I'm starting to wonder if it IS this country... maybe I will get on better with my own kind? Lol ie: British :P