[ordinaryguy]

Of course everyones at a different stage of evolution, many at the same level and smaller percentages below and above that, Im sure you know that though.

Actually, I'm pretty skeptical of any kind of unidirectional "ascending the ladder" model of the spiritual endeavor. I take it as significant that in Jacob's dream, for example, the "angels of God" were both ascending and descending. The descent has just as much spiritual purpose and value as the ascent. This is why we can't assume that those who appear to be "below us" on the ladder are our spiritual inferiors. As spiritual beings, we are all equal, whichever direction we're going, or whatever physical density we happen to have at the moment.

[cerulean]

Oh I didn't even know you had commented, Ive been away for months.

Well that is not what I implied anyway, but it's a common mistake that most people make. They usually make it out of feelings of insecurity "Im not inferior to you" but that's not what I wrote anyway, although it's the common thing for most to interpret because of their insecurity and the nescent stirring knowings that can't be ignored from deep within their subconscious. In the meantime they aren't doing a THING to further their evolution, they just want to talk or write about how they don't believe one person is "inferior" to another who is "superior" they use those terms because they think of life as oppositional forces.

Some people are better at one thing than others, that's an obvious thing about life.. some people are creating and manifesting very negative things on Earth, and I wouldn't say that they are ahead of the game at all if they are bringing damage to the world.. most have been contributing to the raping of the world and cruelty to animals, and I hardly see that as any kind of higher consciousness or evolution, so those things exist and whatever hurts another whether it be human or animal is obviously the wrong thing to do, because you wouldn't want it to happen to you, would you?

Then there is the denial that people go into that serves not themselves nor anyone. That's a secondary issue and disallows them from seeing what's going on. How many people live with their head in the sand like ostrichs, and they do this because its comfortable, then they reach across the chair spouting philosophy or intelligent thought without having created any change at all in this world towards a better world, because they are part of the same rituals that create pain to others.

That is not evolution, that is deevolution, or a silent craziness and indifference that they ignore. It is beyond insideous. It's a commonplace mass agreed upon reality that is so intact most people think they are right and arrogantly doing the right thing, so for example, therefore animals continue dying for "food" that is not required for us to live and actually contributes to the human diseases, ie: obesity, heart disease, cancer and diabetes, etc. of so many people, so how is that a mark of evolution. Its not, its deevolution. In that madness how is free thought to bloom when its been deadened and stricken dumb by those suppressors who command that compassion be made fun of and even ridiculed. People have been well brainwashed and its to their disadvantage.. so when they eat some cacique' brand cheese and their children drop dead, or they eat tainted meat and their children get sick or die, or if a plane tunnels into the world trade center... WHY is it a surprise.

It takes a great deal of courage to come out of denial, and that's also part of what it means to evolve. You can't argue when life is dying, when animals are dying, when people die as a result that humans don't give a damn about animals so why would they have any respect for humans?


This is the great part of what IT MEANS to evolve as a human being, to become aware, to speak out against violence and most of all to walk the walk, to do.

Actually, I'm pretty skeptical of any kind of unidirectional "ascending the ladder" model of the spiritual endeavor. I take it as significant that in Jacob's dream, for example, the "angels of God" were both ascending and descending. The descent has just as much spiritual purpose and value as the ascent. This is why we can't assume that those who appear to be "below us" on the ladder are our spiritual inferiors. As spiritual beings, we are all equal, whichever direction we're going, or whatever physical density we happen to have at the moment.

[ordinaryguy]

Well that is not what I implied anyway, but its a common mistake that most people make. They usually make it out of feelings of insecurity "Im not inferior to you" but thats not what I wrote anyway, although its the common thing for most to interpret because of their insecurity and the nescent stirring knowings that can't be ignored from deep within their subconscious. In the meantime they arent doing a THING to further their evolution, they just want to talk or write about how they don't believe one person is "inferior" to another who is "superior" they use those terms because they think of life as oppositional forces.

Some people are better at one thing than others, thats an obvious thing about life.. some people are creating and manifesting very negative things on Earth, and I wouldnt say that they are ahead of the game at all if they are bringing damage to the world.. most have been contributing to the raping of the world and cruelty to animals, and I hardly see that as any kind of higher consciousness or evolution, so those things exist and whatever hurts another whether it be human or animal is obviously the wrong thing to do, because you wouldnt want it to happen to you, would you??

Then there is the denial that people go into that serves not themselves nor anyone. Thats a secondary issue and disallows them from seeing whats going on. How many people live with their head in the sand like ostrichs, and they do this because its comfortable, then they reach across the chair spouting philosophy or intelligent thought without having created any change at all in this world towards a better world, because they are part of the same rituals that create pain to others.

That is not evolution, that is deevolution, or a silent craziness and indifference that they ignore. It is beyond insideous. Its a commonplace mass agreed upon reality that is so intact most people think they are right and arrogantly doing the right thing, so for example, therefore animals continue dying for "food" that is not required for us to live and actually contributes to the human diseases, ie: obesity, heart disease, cancer and diabetes, etc. of so many people, so how is that a mark of evolution. Its not, its deevolution. In that madness how is free thought to bloom when its been deadened and stricken dumb by those suppressors who command that compassion be made fun of and even ridiculed. People have been well brainwashed and its to their disadvantage.. so when they eat some cacique' brand cheese and their children drop dead, or they eat tainted meat and their children get sick or die, or if a plane tunnels into the world trade center... WHY is it a surprise.

Have any of these people that you speak of in the third person actually posted on this thread? Are you making these judgments and leveling these accusations at anyone in particular, or just at "most people" or "some people" who may or may not happen to read this thread?

[cerulean]

Have any of these people that you speak of in the third person actually posted on this thread? Are you making these judgments and leveling these accusations at anyone in particular, or just at "most people" or "some people" who may or may not happen to read this thread?

You know if you're going to start a fight with me, don't ever post to me again. These aren't accusations and Im not interested in what you're stating here.

The ideas about higher consciousness are true, they are completely common sense. I don't know what you have a problem understanding, any intelligent person would understand them unless they were massively in denial. I haven't been here in months and I have to read this. To some these concepts are so clear and easy to understand.

What I referred to is how most people are in general. I don't know any of these people on these forums.

[ordinaryguy]

cerulean--

I don't know who or what you're so angry at, but I don't think it's me. Your posts are filled with disdain, contempt, ridicule, superiority and put-downs. If that reflects your "ideas of higher consciousness", I want no part of it.

[Choux]

cerulean,

Get rid of this sick man and learn to make your own excitement in life.

Love Life :)


Best wishes on your journey through life,

[biilyjoebob]

I had a theory he was bipolar a long time ago, but I didn't know how right I was, until I heard his story as I got to know him, and began to study what "bipolar" means online.

He has all the classic symptoms, the rages, jealousies, sleeping patterns, and he's hallucinating. He has beliefs about me that are borne from his insecurity, but are not true at all. He thinks that I'm conducting a phone sex business when Im not around him!

One day he's apologetic and nice and generous, and the next day (because I didnt call soon enough in his mind or another reason) he's accusing me of chatting & flirting and cybering other men online.

Truth is, I abandoned all my online friends, told them Im dating so its no secret, and I never cybered them to begin with. I have done everything right, and IM STILL being damned! Im being accused of things Im not doing! Its driving me crazy. I fight with him, and he has me screaming after I listen to him scream at me for days. He's pushed me over the edge. I hate going down to his level and now I refuse to. If I knew more people who have had experiences with bipolars, maybe I could gain some leverage and look at all of this from a new angle, so as not to be so upset about it.

Mostly I wish to learn HOW TO TALK TO HIM. I realize that he really doesn't need much of a reason to get triggered, but perhaps theres a way to deal with him without it getting too out of control.

I asked him and then demanded that he see a doctor, but he believes he doesn't have a problem. He just says "You go see a doctor". Which sounds stupid and childish.

I explained that I am not making stuff up and accusing him of it as he is. I explain things to him until he grows quiet and then says 'You know..... this is depressing, I just want to have a good night, and I feel like Im being tortured".

Thats when I say "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?? This isn't about me torturing you, this is me trying to make you realize the severity of this situation and how you can't handle it alone and never could and you must do something about it or we are never going to know each other in the future because all hope will be lost".

He says "So you don't want to see me anymore??" I say "NO thats not what I'm saying, I'm saying if you don't get help, you will leave me no choice. It's obvious you are going in cycles with your emotions, up and down and I'm along for the ride. I don't want to be part of that ride!".

All I am telling him, is to seek help. I say "Whats so hard about swallowing a pill if it will make you more stable right now?". He says he doesn't want to be on pills. I outline the new findings on bipolarism, how bipolars live 7 yrs less than your average person who doesn't have bipolar disorder.. how bipolarism actually shrinks the brain, and kills brain cells, and how he should do something before its too late.

He makes light of the times when he rages. Sometimes he even imitates himself when he was mad. Recently I was going to meet him in a park to go hiking, and he got upset about something that was nothing to get upset about, met me at the park, and wrenched my car door open.. I thought it was some wild man rapist. He begins to scream at the top of his lungs to 'get out of the car, this is a stolen car!" and calling me names in front of stunned people who are in the park playing frisbee and just gaping at us.

He was so loud and I was so embarrassed, I just vanished into the thickeness of the park until noone could see me. Hearing one guy actually LAUGH at this fiasco.

I stayed in the park for a while, and realized that I didnt have my car. I got tons of phone calls from him, screaming that he needed to give me a ride home. I said "don't bother".. he was the last person I wanted to see!

I walked 4 miles home, it took me 3 1/2 hours to do so, but at least I didn't have to have him pick me up.

I can't take it anymore. When I think of him now, I flash on things we used to do, where we'd go to eat, how funny he is when he's "Normal".. how we went to clubs, and joked and had good times. I feel so sad for him. I feel so bad for him because I know he has a disease.

However when I urge him to go to a doctor, he will not budge. I ask him "What part of this do you really believe is normal?"

I don't know what to do or say to him to convince him to go.

Now Im beginning to feel that not marching into a doctors office with him and just being around him at all, is making me an enabler, because I realize how sick he is. I just can't ignore it like he's doing.

I feel really upset about this and incredibly sorry for him. I can't imagine what it must be like to have your brain moving so fast as it is with him. I can't imagine or relate to it, nor would I want to. He seems to think he can function the way he is, but I ask him "How can you when you can't get along with me because you're always raging? You call that managing your anger problem?".

Im all logical and rational and he's just inane and flippant, or he'll hang up and pretend Im attacking him by telling him its high time for him to see a counselor. Years ago before I met him he went to a therapist and unfortunately he found a really inept one, one that tossed some lithium his way and basically told him to "call him in the morning".

The lithium & other drugs he was prescribed played havoc with his mind and he was really turned off to meds. Since that bad experience he's not wanted to try it again. This is the danger with counselors or doctors who rush you through a session, throw some meds at you, and don't address all your problems and make light of the situation. If he had had a good doctor, I wouldnt be tortured by this person now.

Either way, suggestions anyone?

im am biopolor but i do not accuse people of cheating on me for stupid reason's its not tht hes just biopolor becouse yes i do hav horrible mood swings and go throw depression for no reason and yell and then 10 minutes later its like nothings happened at all well at less thtz wht my parents say i do but i hav never accused someone on cheating on me for talking to theam online or phone* Sometimes its hard to not get fustrated easily like on the drop of a dime but he seems to have other problems too and u need to ask him y does he have to feel so insecure..did u ever do anything to even give him the idea u may cheat on him?

[ccrazeegyrl]

Wow--Cerulean.. You are describing EXACTLY what I am going through now. I have been with my boyfriend about a little over a year and the past 6 months have been pure hell at times. I thought for a minute we were talking of the same person.Whew! It is mentally and physically draining on my part I totally feel your pain--email me if you like.. Mine is supposedly going for an appointment within the next week or so to get on some type of medication to control his raging,anger,jealousy, just I guess to slow his thought process down.BillyJoeBob also says he is bi-polar and yup I feel as if he makes me feel like a lunatic at times because he will go into a raging yelling anger fit over something so SMALL and normal people wouldn't make a big deal of but to mine (everything is so BLOWn out of proportion its not funny) then like 15 -20 min later its like nothing EVER happened and I am left feeling like I hear that twighlight zone music like wow did that really just happen and now he is OK and I am supposed to be OK with him after the things he just said and did--uhh Wheew! I cannot even explain the frustration I have dealing with him,but I love him and want him to get help and now on our last go round of me braeking up with him he realized I was serious and wants to get help--or at least we'll see what happens.He said all the usual I'm sorry's and will change but we have been down that road before --IT DOES NOT GET BETTER.. so if he doesn't get medication soon I have to think about ME and what this is doing to me--it is literally tearing me down--i too have eliminated ALL my friends because of his jealousy--even female friends(jealous of our closeness I guess) but YES Cerulean the FALSE accusations I get them all the time I have NEVER given this man any reason to think I would ever want another man but I get accused on the almost DAILY yup the accused of making phone calls while I'm at work--texting others,you name it he has said it or accused me of it.. WE LIVE TOGETHER I forgot to explain this and are best friends also so we do everything together so he has delusions all the time.. I do not know how much longer I can take this if medication is not gotten---I feel sorry for him also but when he is in a rage he cares NOTHING about my feeliings or if I cry or whatever--it is a CONSTANT up and down roller coaster ride I am READY to get off myself quite soon... The reason for tis post is to just let you know I COMPLETLEY understand you and what you are going through!!

My best wishes---But please make him go to the doctors--at least try again---