[mommadiva07]

What do you do when u argue more then having a good time with each other?

[rankrank55]

You start doing something different. If you want things to work out you have to take things from a different approach because the one you are using now is obviously not working. If you start to feel mad, walk away. Doing this allows you to cool off and regain your thoughts... heck, you might not even be mad anymore after walking a way for a bit. It's also important to think before you act. If the other person says or does something that erks you say to yourself "is this something that is going to matter in the morning?" If it's not then it's probably not worth bringing up.

[Hottrodder246]

From experience you need 2 seriously sit down and talk like adults and find out what you are arguing about... yelling will only make it worse and don't something when your angry, you will regret it... if need be go to counseling to develop communication skills. Don't wait until it is to late!! If you just figure out how to have an intelligent conversation it make all the difference.

[kp2171]

How old? What's the history? Describe the relationship. What do you fight about? etc.

More info needed to help.

[Colonel Young]

what do you do when u argue more then having a good time with eachother?

You listen. Find the root to the arguments. Try your best to fix them. The way I see it, arguments usually begin because:

1. One person has insulted the other. This causes a "shut-down" and defensive state of mind that could even erupt into an offensive one.

2. One person stops listening. Information stops passing through in a smooth manner, as information simply bounces off the walls of the plugged ears. This can often cause frustration when the person trying to talk is trying to get a point across and the person who stops listening refuses to listen. If you ask me, this is an extremely rude and damaging thing to do. It is the decision, "I will not listen to you anymore because:
a) I know I'm right and you're wrong
b) I do not care to be proven wrong, because this is good, and I like this
c) I want to drop the subject because it interests me no further"
If the other person trying to pass information has information that can help better the person's life, being defiant and ignorant of such knowledge can be damaging, regardless of how much the person thinks it is insignificant.

3. One person has said something that the other person knows for a fact is not true. This is often in the case of a younger or lesser experienced person trying to pass information and they don't know what they're talking about.

While most teenager-parent fights I believe are the teen's worse end, sometimes it can be the parent's ignorance as well. Parents claim all the time, "My kid thinks he knows EVERYTHING." Indeed, it can very well the opposite. I know it was for me when I argued with my parents. Parents are often used to raising their children from an extremely early age (usually birth) where, in the eyes of the child, they know everything. The child learns much of his/her knowledge from the parents who always seem to have an answer.
When children mature into the pre-adult stage (teen), they begin to grow off the parent, search for their own answers, research their own questions, and learn on their own. When the parent finds that the teenager has some outside knowledge that seems to conflict with the parent's, its baffling to think for a second that the parent is possibly wrong. All this time (the past 14 years), the parent has been god in knowledge. Suddenly, the infinite knowledge is questioned.

I grew up in my teenage years with the understanding that I was stupid and knew almost nothing. I listened to anyone and everyone about any healthful information. If someone can show me a better way to zip a bag, by all means, please show me! Criticism was always acceptable... even from the youngest or lowliest of persons.
However, I also grew up in my childhood very gullible. Eventually, I learned to never listen to someone and simply take what they say as truth. Research and reasoning must be placed in to make an understanding of it all.
My parents were not used to me questioning anything they said. Really, all I wanted was reasons, examples, proof... SOMETHING that showed that they knew what they were talking about. Instead, they claim that I am arguing because I simply like arguing (and they don't) and try to call off the discussion. They claim that I am trying to force my opinions on them to simply prove that I am right.

And I might've been right. But my being knows that my father (more than double my age) knows far more than I do. And if he's got something to tell me, he should be able to (very easily) give me some firm ground on his beliefs. However, whenever I ask the question, "How?" "Why?" "Doesn't make any logical sense." He comes back with, "because that's the way it is." His "because" is what he used to combat my historical accounts, real life proof, charts, research, and reason.

Were we arguing about cell phone bills? Rules? Home living? Curfew?

No. We're arguing about life principles, methods of driving safely, debt, marriage, amongst other things. All he wanted to do is say what he had to say, for me to accept that view without question, and simply go on. I know I'm not perfect, but I know he isn't either. This is why it is important for someone gives me some proof (or at least a sense of logic) or logistics before I believe [that your driving habits are worth trying].


However, you might be talking about a sibling.

Sibling arguments are a different story and often involve motives. You must always question your reasons and true motive before you begin arguing with your sibling about something in regards to a change, fairness, methods, etc. (So I'm not talking about politics or whether black holes exist.)

When I entered my teenage years, I had a certain defiance against what normal teenager relationships were like. This included sibling rivalry. My sister was under the impression that when we argued, we all did it because we hated each other and wanted at each other's throats.

If she really took the time to understand the argument, she would've realized that our arguments are usually about her lifestyle and habits, her safety, her beliefs, health, future investments, raising children, settling peace with our parents, and the like. While she calls me *****, and a ****ing ***hole, I say, "I love you. That is why I press the matter so hard."

Not parents? Not siblings?

A spouse? I hope you married for the right reasons. Because you loved each other is an extremely poor reason to marry. This type of love often weakens with time. As the other person learns more and more about the other, they learn more about flaws and mistakes, as well as hellish sins or past deeds. They begin to have their lifestyles clash, and suddenly, the reason one loved the other (hormonal racing) is suddenly nullified. This is why arranged marriages work out so well. They pre-determine that they will find a way to work this out, and often choose that divorce or separation is not an option. They will find ways to compliment each other.

The gravest importance when it comes to arguments is probably going to be with a spouse. Now arguments shift from the sibling and parent level of personal wants to, "How are we going to pay off the house?" "What school are we going to send our children to?" "How will we discipline our children to help them the best way possible?" "What is the best way to cover our finances?" "Where should we take our relaxing vacation?"

Practicing with arguments on a tiny, insignificant level prepares you for the experience you'll need to argue grave and supremely important matters. Just because the matter seems stupid doesn't mean parents should wave off the argument between two kids. Instead, they should teach them how to lovingly resolve the matter so that they're argument maturity doesn't resort to kicking and screaming in the future.

Aside from that, it is important you settle these decisions as unselfishly as possible. Find the needs, pet peeves, religiously followed methods, and sacred items and then determine the balances of the "I could care less." Example: I utterly despise having trash (that's not all paper) thrown into a trashcan without a bag. Having thinking about gum, rotten meat, liquids, etc. being poured into your container and sitting there makes me scream. On the other hand, my wife may have an obsession with keeping all the seasonings and spices in alphabetical order. Well, I don't mind having my seasonings and spices organized, and I'm sure she wouldn't mind always having a bag for every piece of trash, so we'll understand one another and respect each other's personal pet peeves. If there's trash in the bucket, she'll pick it up and clean it out, and if the seasonings were tossed in the cupboard, I should do the tedious work of organizing them for her again. We're happy.

Not any of the above? Friends?

Regardless, your words intrigue me. 'What do you do when u argue more then having a good time with each other?' (I sense that this is a teenager friend matter, but that’s not for me to judge.) You are telling me that you want to not argue, put aside all discussions that come up and simply "have a good time"? Think hard about just what you’re arguing about. Perhaps the subject matters may be important concerning the future. I wouldn’t know. Maybe they are about stupid things that are 100% opinions. Suppose they are arguments about what to do or where to go that directly relates to the two/three/more of you.

Sometimes, it is impossible (if even dangerous) to ignore the arguments and move on as if they never happened. I don’t know, but I have covered much of what I can give you in a broad sense without the specifics (and it may be so that you don’t want to give out specifics). My best friend and I get along simply by discussing controversial subject matters because we know that, regardless of who is right, wrong (or in some cases, we were both wrong!), we better each other. We become “more right” in our ways and our knowledge has increased. We very rarely ever argue, but we do debate a lot.

The biggest question above anything else is, “Do you have the right attitude?” What are you motives behind the argument?

[talaniman]

Take a break, then talk about it.If this cannot be resolved then move on.