[sunshine3921]

My wedding is 2 weeks away. Im having problems with my fiance's two kids. My fiancé has full custody of them .Their mother lost custody of the kids, she never calls or visits she is a drug user. His daughter is 18 , married with 2 kids of her own . They used to live with him. He supported them , let them live at his house rent free. Then he came to live with me and all that ended. She now lives with her mother in law ( mother in law and her don't get along) . She feels that I stoled her dad away from her . She never tells me hi and always gives me dirty looks. When her dad takes me out she will ask him why didn't he invite her . Her dad wanted her to be part of the bridal party so I asked her to be a bridesmaid. She said yes, my fiancé bought her the dress and now she is saying she doesn't like the color that I picked or the style of the dress. I don't think she will show up to the wedding. I wanted to replace her as a bridesmaid but my fiancé told me not to. He said if she don't show up he will have one less groomsman. My other problem is his 11 year old son that lives with us. His son is always fight with my 3 boys, he really likes to pick on my little 6 yr old. His son also talks back to me and never does his chores .While my kids do their chores he will be outside playing . Sometimes when I see his son pick on my little boy my fiancé will start picking on him too. Last night My fiancé and his son brought pizza home and his son told my little boy he couldn't have any then my fiancé jumped in and also started teasing him telling him that he couldn't have any too. My little boy started to cry. I then got my kids and left the house and took them out to eat. I told my fiancé that I was getting really sick and tired of this. He then got mad at me , like if it was all my fault His son has no respect for me or my kids and my fiancé tells him nothing. Please help me. I don't know if I can go on with this wedding. I can't live my life like this anymore.

[Treeny]

Oh my, this is hard. His children are not as well behaved do to their up bringing of their
Mother being a drug user and all
Very sad but they are who they are and it may be very difficult for you to
Be the one to change them or dissapline because they will be jealious of you for awhile.
The oldest is also probably very jealious Their Father was their only stability and know he's being taken away , { in their eyes}
Your fiancé is wrong by participating in the teasing, maybe in is own way he's trying to buff the situation for his children. I would subjest premarital counceling before getting married.

[RoyUNCG]

(This advice is coming from a man)
I would not get married to this man. He does not respect you, and I say this because he allows his kids to disrespect you and your kids. His daughter will be moving in as soon as she gets put out of her mother in laws. And because that is his daughter, he cannot tell her no, Eventually, you are your kids will be prisoners in your own home. Blended families should be transparent. You should not be able to tell which kids belong to whom, because they should be treated the same. Good luck on whatever you decide, but be careful

[dreamangel226]

First of all, your fiancée is way too old to be teasing a little boy AND as a parent he shouldn't be condoning that his son participate in that kind of behavior. He doesn't seem to be mature at all, especially if he's not eager to teach his son right from wrong, or discipline him when he needs it. He doesn't seem to care about your son's feelings or your own for that matter, and if he doesn't care about them now, that will not change when you all get married. His children should respect you and vice versa. That's how blended families work. If he can't teach them how to respect you now, do you think that he will make a good husband. I don't think that you should marry him at all, but whatever you decide to do remember that you are marrying this guy for life so you will be dealing with this for many years

[Treeny]

Sorry sunshine but I have to agree with above comments.
If you decide to go on with the marriage you should talk to a councilor together first, and continue to go. Have you talked to your fiancé about all of this?
To sacrifice maybe your children getting hurt emotionally Should opt one to put a hold on the marriage, at least until you work it out.
It is a big leap. Be careful.
Good luck.

[MrsJoseph06]

I agree with the above as well! You need to seek councling before you get married. You don't want this to escalade! It's hard to have a blended family but if everyone works at it can work!

[kelliegrace20]

This guy sounds like my ex husband, unfortunately he treated his own son and daughter like this among other things that he did. I divorced him after 6 years of marriage because he refused to grow up and treat his kids with respect. My advice for you hun is to call off the wedding and the relationship. Most men like that do not grow up and you are just headed for years of hurt and pain =( Im sorry getting married should be a happy time but your not happy and that isn't a very good sign at all! I wish you all the best of luck, but if he isn't willing to treat your kids and you with respect you can expect that this relationship won't work. If you don't want to call off the wedding/relationship, than do what other posters have suggested, try counselling - but if he declines doing that, he really isn't interested in making things work then.

[kelliegrace20]

LOL, I just realized how old this post was -- I should prob read dates before I post my comments ;) hehe! I hope things worked out!