Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    gcclique's Avatar
    gcclique Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 4, 2007, 01:49 PM
    Married just to be together?
    So, my story is a bit different then what I've read. I am 17 years old, and my boyfriend is 21. We've been together for 8 months, and known each other for 4 years. However, not only does he live in another city, he lives an another country. He's had his relationships and I've had mine, but.. there's something different about him that makes me see an actual future for this. I'm not saying I'm the most mature person ever, but I know I am extremely mature for my age. I live in Canada, and he lives in California. This summer we spent 3 months together traveling around the united states and not once did I get sick of his company. But, the reason I'm writing this is, we plan to get married in February of 2008. The only reason we plan this is because it's the only way to be together, and for him to move into canada with me. If we lived in the same country, we wouldn't be getting married. Yes I see a future with him, but I know that if we lived near each other, we wouldn't be considering marriage till far down the road. By the time the marriage takes place , we will have been together over a year, and I'm wondering if it's a bad idea to get married... Not saying I don't want to be with him, its just that, I'll be 18 at the time , him being 22 then, it just seems kind of young. But it's the only way to actually be together. Im kind of traditional, and I've always wanted the dream wedding, but ill still be in school and there is no way I can afford it. So our plan is to just sign the papers in February, and then just have the being ceremony in a few years. What's your guys opinion on this?
    O_Troubles's Avatar
    O_Troubles Posts: 313, Reputation: 20
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Sep 4, 2007, 02:06 PM
    Hey I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21 too although our situation is different I think I can relate lol! My honest opinion is that if you want to be together there's winter holidays and summer breaks but wait. If your going to get married just to be together why not just wait and when your older you spend more time together you'l know. Now a-days itway easy to get divorced but do you want to be divorcded at 19? If you love each other enough to get married love each other enough to wait and make sure you guys can get along more. 4 months is easy try loving with your boyfriend for a year lol!
    MrsJoseph06's Avatar
    MrsJoseph06 Posts: 189, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Sep 4, 2007, 02:36 PM
    I would say to wait. Why can't he come to Canada anyway? Like above said to you want to be divorced at 19. You said you wanted a traditional wedding. Well Life happens you get married now and what happens when you end up pregnant etc. that dream wedding may never happen. I think it's best to wait! If you love one another you will make it work!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 4, 2007, 02:47 PM
    If your so in love in a year of being together, then talk it over. A year of growth and maturity can not hurt, but make the decisions you make better. What's the hurry?? Marriage is for life, so do it right.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 4, 2007, 02:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by gcclique
    Yes I see a future with him, but i know that if we lived near eachother, we wouldn't be considering marriage till far down the road.
    I don't quite get this part. California and Canada aren't that far apart. Why would you marry if you live in two different countries, but not marry if you live near each other?

    A year of being together isn't all that long. Both of you still have a lot of living to do. I say wait.
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
    Survivor
     
    #6

    Sep 5, 2007, 06:31 AM
    He's a legal adult, why can't he just come to Canada without making you sign a marriage certificate?

    You should wait. Things may only be great right now because you're not dealing with each other everyday, paying bills, etc. You spent 3 months together over the summer and never got sick of each other? Try spending 3 years together and see if that happens. I'm not trying to sound like a pessimist, but true love takes time and has to stand the test. You have to know this person, how you deal with real life situations together, and what kind of future would you want together (kids? How many? When? Jobs? Where would you want to live? Religious beliefs? Time between families?) Feb 2008 is not that far away, my dear.

    Personally, I think if a real ceremony is important to you, you should wait and have it. Getting married quickly then celebrating in a few years will take away some of the "special" part of that day. Who knows, by then children life events may come along and you would never really be able to do it after waiting all that time.

    Hold on a little longer and think some more about this.
    Kattalover's Avatar
    Kattalover Posts: 120, Reputation: 20
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Sep 5, 2007, 09:13 AM
    If you are going through with this, I strongly recommend a prenup!

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

I am in love with 2 men, 1 is getting married and I am married to the other [ 12 Answers ]

Never ever thought I would be posting a question on a site - but life got me here:rolleyes: I am a happily married woman - happily married if you remove the sex out of marriage. My partner was never very interested in sex and that was something I had comfortably accepted. We lived happily for...

In love with a married man and I am married too. [ 21 Answers ]

I have being married for 11 yrs. And going with a married man for 9 yrs. What do I do? He tells me he love me but, yet keeps important information from me that I needs to know. He puts other people in our relationship, and that's has caused a problem for us. I know that is not right to be with him...

We are both married! [ 8 Answers ]

OK Here I go, I am 26 years old and married for 3 years but been with my husband for 9 years almost. OK I have cheated on him with a 45 year old married man who get this I work with. We have only did it one time now but we both want to do it again. Now I don't know if I am falling in love with him...

How to get married [ 4 Answers ]

How to get married in Atlanta? Where can I find the right courthouse?


View more questions Search