[mathtutor]

OK, here's one for you all! I've been seeing this woman for a little over two months now. We're both in our 30s and had been having a lot of fun together, including great sex. For the past few weeks, however, she seems totally disinterested and often goes so far as to not even let me hold her hand or put my arm around her. On other occasions, though, she'll be affectionate and hug and kiss me goodnight (but no more sexual intimacy). Her emotions seem to be equally unpredictable ; happy and jovial at times (which she was all the time at first) and a real basket case at others. It's almost to the point that I'm afraid to pick her up for a date anymore for fear of not knowing what kind of mood she'll be in. When I try to talk to her about it she'll be very evasive and try to change the subject or end the conversation altogether. I am totally perplexed by this total reversal of affections and emotions on her part and am considering just forgetting the whole thing at this point. Understand that it's not just the sudden loss of sexual intimacy that I'm concerned about but the whole 180 degree about-face that she sems to have done and the accompanying unpredictability that has evolved. The only possible hint that I can think of is that she does seem to be very set in her opinions and beliefs, especially about things religious and political, and takes it very personally if I disagree with her on something (which will inevitably happen between two different people in any situation.) She'll even go so far as to start an argument with me over something that she knows or thinks I'll feel differently about than her and then use the difference in opinion as an excuse to pull further away from me. Now, in my opinion, such issues aren't worth destroying a relationship over but that's what seems to be happening here. I certainly don't get upset with her when she disagrees with me over something as I expect that to be the case from time to time. I don't know if there's something else going on here or not. Let me know your thoughts.

[Wildcat21]

2 months is really a critical point in a relationship. Especially for woman.

She may be in the process of deciding if she likes you or not.

I have a strong feeling you have been smothering her with attention? I have a strong feeling you contact her WAY to often and you may be annoying her?

Woman need space at times and I don't think you have been providing it.

When a woman pulls back like this - YOU must pull back. I am 100% certain you have come on even stronger as she pulls back.

She is testing you to see if you have a life. You need to be busy. Don't return her calls right away. AND stop contacting her 5 times a day.

I have a feeling she is becoming sick of you and constant attention.

YOU need to give her the gift of missing you. For the next few days DO NOT try to contact her - make her chase you. She IS SICK of you chasing her. That which is chased - runs! Be busy.

I think you may have put this lady on a pedestal? Too much importance in your life too soon.

[mathtutor]

Perhaps I have put her on a pedestal and I know that can be a bad mistake. Actually I am quite busy with a full schedule. Any time that I could spend with her is limited by work and other commitments. I'm not sure that I'm really guilty of "smothering her with attention", however. In fact, I had been kind of wondering if that's what was turning her off, the fact that I have such a full plate ; perhaps she feels that I have too many other priorities in my life right now and not enough time for her. She's never come right out and said such a thing but I still wonder nevertheless. Thanks for your input.

[Wildcat21]

Less is always more. You can never give less of yourself unless you give none.

Putting a woman a pedestal is bad for business - they hate that. Too many compliments -they can never do wrong - Yuck! Woman want to be treated as an equal - a friend. You need to tease them and make fun of them a lot.

If your all mushy and lovey they will run. Trying to be all romantic all the time -yuck.

From what you say I still have a feeling you contacted her too much - even though your busy - calling all the time, e-mails, text. Womman need time to miss you.

You did something to turn her off.

Be yurself more - 80% of the time treat her like a friend - tease her. Bust her chops. No 'nice'.

If you change a little you may save this. BUt, give this woman some space. Cut the commuication for a short while.